[LargeFormat] Critique

[Graeme Hird]

Thank you so much for the welcome Uncle Dick. I appreciate the induction and
run through of the rules.

Firstly, let me state that unless the beer you are trying to pour down my
throat is a home brew or a Coopers, my mouth will remain firmly closed. It
won't be the first time I've been bathed in beer.

Secondly, we don't need to rub in the fact that our government won't let all
the smart people (LF users) into our glorious (if somewhat parched) country.
They can't all come, so it is good that we can keep them informed about the
goings on in Gods own playground, via this mailing list. Come to think of
it, the government won't let anyone in without first taking a holiday in the
outback first.

Thirdly, I do solemnly swear on a stack of double dark slides not to mention
digital backs nor toy format films - though I may lapse into the occasional
scanner or lambda print rant (a weakness in my character I'm afraid). And
mine is not bigger than yours - I'm secure in the fact that I know how to
use that which I have been given. Four or five inches will satisfy my
dimensional requirements until I can afford some enhancement, at which time
between 11 and 24 inches will provide contact of a very pleasing nature.

Fourthly, I won't mention the English Cricket XI until they arrive in the
country.

Lastly, Belly Dancers - like sunsets - should be appreciated for what they
are: beauties to behold fleetingly and from a distance (so my wife tells
me). I make it a rule never to photograph either gratuitously, I just watch
in awe. You never know when you are looking at your last, and neither can be
captured fully on a single sheet of film.

Cheers,
Graeme

----- Original Message -----
From: "rstein" <rstein@bigpond.net.au>
To: <largeformat@f32.net>
Sent: Tuesday, December 24, 2002 5:22 PM
Subject: Re: [LargeFormat] Critique


> Dear Mr. Hird,
>
>     I think I need to tell you a few things. These may come as a bit of a
> shock. Brace yourself.
>
>      A great many of the members of this list are not Australian.
> They...WHOA...GEEZ...Somebody pick Graeme up and put him back on the
chair.
> Get him a beer. Pour it into him. If he won't open up pour it over him.
> That's better.
>
>     Now, as I was saying, a number of these invisible typists are
quartered
> in Canada, the USA, France, Switzerland, Norway, and....brace
> yourself....England.
>
>      Oh, pick him up again, someone. Geez.
>
>      Now, make this easy for yourself and others. Remember the rules of
the
> list. Large format cameras are the go. Large is anything bigger than 2
1/4"
> x 2 3/4" negative size. In the future as they shrink the equipment these
> sizes will qualify for LF status, but for now 4 x5 and largr are safe.
> Discount all tales of films larger than 10" x 12" as these are either
> historic memories or the photographic equivalent of teenagers in the
locker
> room comparing their dimensions - " Mine is bigger than yours and mine is
> panchromatic".
>
>     Try to avoid any talk of Digital. Until someone comes out with a
digital
> back that slips into a DD holder and costs $ 18 this is a taboo subject.
>
>     Try to avoid all talk of the English cricket IX. Or if you do mention
> them try not to Bwahahahahahaha
> HOO HOO HOO....Oh, God, I'm sorry. It just overwhelmed me. I'm better now.
>
>     Be honest with your fellow list members. If you are taking pictures of
> cold fried eggs with cigarette butts stubbed out in them and selling the
> platinum prnts for $ 4000, you can lie about it, but make the lies
> convincing. Introduce us to your buyers....
>
>     If you are into belly dancers, welcome to the club.
>
>      Uncle Dick
>
>
>
>
>
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