Foot Heads Arms Body
austin-ghetto-list@pairlist.net
austin-ghetto-list@pairlist.net
Sun Jul 4 00:54:46 2004
Fellow Ghettow Dwellerz:
Came across this wonderful selecta of odd and unintentionally funny
headlilnes while surfing for info on a British author who wrote a number
of books on same.
Two of these books were:
IT MUST BE TRUE
and
LADY WITH SMALL DOG SEEKS POST
Anyone heerd of this author?
I seem to recall his name was 'Potter' but may be confusing him with the
guy who wrote the 'lifesmanship' books.
This all got aroused again when I came across the following little marvel,
from the Mainichi Daily News (Japan):
MAN STABS TIRES ON 60 CARS TO RELEASE PRESSURE
(Delightful Headline from ‘Mainichi Daily News’, Japan)
YOKOHAMA -- A jobless man who is suspected of using a dagger to
deliberately damage tires on up to 60 vehicles here has told investigators
that he was irritated by the massive number of cars passing his home,
police said Friday.
"The endless number of cars driving past my house was really getting to
me," Koichi Arashi, 37, a resident of Seya-ku, Yokohama, was quoted as
telling investigators. He is already under indictment over a separate
theft case.
In the specific case for which he was arrested recently, Arashi used a
dagger to rupture a tire on a car belonging to a 63-year-old construction
company owner in Seya-ku in the predawn hours of May 29, investigators
said.
He admitted to involvement in 50 to 60 similar cases. Since last April,
police have received reports that tires on cars parked at homes and
parking lots in Seya-ku have been ruptured in some 170 cases. (Mainichi
Shimbun, Japan, July 2, 2004
The following are real strange headlines from various newspapers.
This document layout is copyright 1997-2003 Steven Ward (me).
I would like MORE. So if you have any just drop me a line to the address
below.
On Thursday, September 07, 2000 this list exceeded 1000 headlines.
Unlike other headline lists on the web, this list is updated on a monthly
basis and where possible I have listed the paper where the headline
origniated.
Last modified: Thursday, 13-Feb-2003 14:24:45 GMT
Please click on the letter below to view headlines beginning with it.
[ All items ] [ A ] [ B ] [ C ] [ D ] [ E ] [ F ] [ G ] [ H ] [ I ] [ J ]
[ K ] [ L ] [ M ] [ N ] [ O ] [ P ] [ Q ] [ R ] [ S ] [ T ] [ U ] [ V ] [
W ] [ X ] [ Y ] [ Z ]
1. 1.6 Million Cherokees Are Recalled -- L.A Times
2. $200 Fine Risk For Mobile Car Use -- Sunday Mail
3. £3 To Drive Into City -- Evening Standard
4. £20 To Fight Crime In England And Wales -- Local Government First
(LGA Newsletter}
5. 02 Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
6. 7 Reasons Why Teacher's Find Us Top Class -- T4Teachers advertisment
7. 10 Revolting Officers Executed
8. 12 On Their Way To Cruise Among Dead In Plane Crash
9. 17 Aliens Held
10. 18 Hurt In Cheese Roll
11. 18,000 Women Recalled For New Tests - The Times
12. 20-Year Friendship Ends At Altar
13. 29 Hurt As Students Demand Right To Cheat
14. 29 Nations Approve Bribery Ban
15. 40 Men Escape Watery Graves When Vessel Flounders In Ale
16. 4-H Girls Win Prizes for Fat Calves
17. 500 Elves Loose
18. 500-Year-Old Child Found -- The Australian.
19. A Million ET's Get New Identity Deal
20. Ability To Swim May Save Children From Drowning
21. Abstention From Sex Does Not Make One Stupid - Nurse
22. Accident Made Salesman "Too Nice" For Job - Daily Telegraph
23. Accordionists Seek Some Respect -- AP headline
24. This appeared on the same day as: Acupuncture May Up Chance of
Test-Tube Pregnancy -- Reuters headline
25. ACT Women's Conference Pursues Broad Agenda -- Our Voice - PSU Group
Report
26. Admits Shooting Husband From Stand,During Trial
27. Afrikaaners Find God In London - Sundy Independent (South Africa)
28. After 100 Years, Coward Celebration -- AP headline
29. Air Head Fired
30. Airborne Deer Kills Man - New York Times
31. Airline Travel Safer Despite More Accidents - Report -- Reuters
headline
32. Airport Plea For Visitors To Stay Away - Scotsman
33. Aladdin's Cave Is Found In Pub
34. Aladdin's Cave Wins Village Shop Award
35. Alaska Warned: Don't Become Florida
36. Alcohol Ads Promote Drinking -- The Hartford Courant, November 18
37. Alien Gangs Prey On UK -- Daily Mirror
38. Alien Hedgehogs Spread Terror In The Hebrides-- The Times
39. Alien In Sydney Pines For Port -- Adelaide Advertiser.
40. Alien Unit Probe May Lead To Further Action -- Johannesburg Star
41. Aliens Are In Control Of Blair, Say Serb Psychics -- Independent On
Sunday.
42. Aliens Blamed For Woes Of Society
43. Aliens Crammed Into Toilet
44. Aliens Eat Swamp
45. Aliens Found At Pentagon -- Sutton On Sunday (Sutton Coldfield).
46. Aliens On "Student" Visas Slip Under Net - Brisbane (Australia)
Courier-Mail
47. Aliens On Jakarta Blacklist
48. Aliens To Fill Future Jobs Need Say Experts -- Irish Independent
49. All-Stars Turn On Sparse Crowd
50. American Ships Head To Lybia
51. Americans Driven To Suicide By Fear Of Death -- Daily Telegraph
52. Amnesia Costs Accountant 11 Years
53. Analysis: Jobs End Welfare
54. Ancient Blonde Corpses Raise Questions
55. Ancient Chinese Tradition Develops -- AP headline
56. Ancient King To Watch Over Bike Network -- Southampton Daily Echo
57. Angel's Future Now 'Secure' -- The Licencee.
58. Angels On Cloud Nine After Award -- The Licencee.
59. Animal 'Fart Tax' Puts Wind up New Zealand Farmers -- AFP headline
60. Animals Take Over Village That Changed Hands Twice - Irish Times
61. Animals Turn To Teaching
62. Antibacterial Ingredient in Shampoo May Prevent HIV -- Reuters headline
63. Antique Stripper To Display Wares At Store
64. Ants Show BT How To Control Computers
65. Aquarium Lands Bomber -- Bristol Evening Post
66. Arafat Swears In Cabinet
67. Archangels To Guard Vatican In Cyberspace
68. Armageddon Ahead, Please Fasten Your Bible Belt -- Times (London)
69. Armageddon Could Threaten United's Promotion Push
70. Army Felled By Sheep -- Express
71. Army Social Worker Punched His Boss At Conference On Anger -- Irish
Times
72. Around The World Rhinos Crash Back To Earth -- Guardian.
73. Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire
74. Artificial Intelligence Like Real Thing
75. Asbestos Man In Compensation Bid -- Hounslow Guardian
76. Asbestos Suit Pressed
77. Astrologers Fail to Predict Proof They Are Wrong -- London Telegraph
headline
78. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
79. Attack By ET Proves Costly
80. Attack By Goat Ends In Car Ban
81. Attack On Rat Mistaken For Chinese -- Daily Post
82. Auditor Confronts Martian - Irish Times
83. Autos Killing 110 A Day Let's Resolve To Do Better
84. Average Movie Cost Reaches $53.4M
85. Axe For Media School's Head -- Johannesburg, Star.
86. Babies Used To Sneak Drugs Into Prison
87. Baboon Becomes A Landlady -- The Parrot (Ghana)
88. Baboon Tossers Are Welcome -- Grantham Journal
89. Baby Boomers Not Planning to Retire
90. Bachelors Prefer Beauty To Brains In Their Wives
91. Bacteria Go Bald And Lose Their Grip
92. Bacteria May Make Bullet Proof Vests
93. Bad Driving Causes Most Car Crashes -- London Evening Standard
94. Bad Food Makes A Poor Picnic.
95. Baker Stabbed Woman 99 Times In Self-Defence - Irish Times
96. Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
97. Banana Forced Officer To Have Sex
98. Banana On Sodomy Charges - Guardian
99. Bananas And Oranges Linked To Violent Crime -- Sunday Telegraph
100. Bananas Get Animated
101. Bangkok Launches Anti-Butt Campaign -- Arab News (Jeddah)
102. Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board
103. Bankrupt Association Termed In Poor Shape --Lawrence (Ka)
Journal-World 7/12/77
104. Baptists Halt Talks With Catholics -- AP headline
105. Baywatch Star Objects To Fake Sex
106. BBC Raises Dead To Give Comedy New Life -- Times.
107. Bearded Lady Sues Dwarf -- UPI headline
108. Beatrix Potter Bolied Squirrels -- Sunday Times
109. Beavers Fly Flag In Uganda
110. Belgian Man Saves Fish with Kiss of Life -- Reuters headline
111. Bible Belt Leads U.S. in Divorces -- AP headline
112. Bible Church's Focus Is The Bible -- Saint Augustine Record,
Florida, December 3, 1994
113. "Bibles Sold To The Dead" Claim -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus.
114. Big Black Hole Found In The Sky
115. Bike Cop Finds Man With Crack -- Mt. Airy News in Mt. Airy, NC
116. Bird Bath Takes Flight -- Bridlington (Humberside) Free Press.
117. Bird Crime Up -- Dally Telegraph.
118. Bishop Attacks Childless Couples -- Huddersfield Daily Examiner.
119. Biting Nails Can Be Sign Of Tenseness In A Person -- The Daily
Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2
120. Black-Belt Prosecutor Leg-Locks Defendant -- Reuters Headline
121. Blind Bishop Appointed To See
122. Blind Man Bites Guide Dog In Drunken Rage - Daily Telegraph
123. Blind Rioters Apprehended In Zambia
124. Blind Users Stymied By New Internet Graphics
125. Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
126. Blue Skies Unless Its Cloudy --San Francisco Chronicle 5/29/??
127. Body Found On Boat Seized By Bailiffs And Due To Be Auctioned --
Isle Of Wight County Press
128. Body Of Unarmed Man Slain By Police Leaving For Africa -- Associated
Press.
129. Body Wants New Blood - Chingford Guardian
130. Bold Plan To Put Capetown On Map - Sunday Times Business News
(Johannesburg)
131. Bomb Hit By Library
132. Bookbinder Wants His Ashes Kept in Special Book on Library Shelf --
PA headline
133. "Boom Box" Explodes, One Dead -- Reuters headline
134. Boots Fined For Selling Underage Girl Dracula
135. Boy Cooks Must Eat Own Vitals
136. Boy Trapped Inside His Own Body Gets £3.3m -- Wolverhampton Express
& Star.
137. Boy Who Drowned Couldn't Swim -- The Province Vancouver, BC, Canada,
18th Or 19th September 2000
138. Brain Bank Seeks More Deposits -- Reuters headline
139. Bridge Sets 60 Mph Limit For Pedestrians -- Dundee Courier
140. Bring Back The Bongs, Say Mps -- Metro.
141. Britain Inches Grudgingly Towards Metric System -- Reuters headline
142. Britain To Free Children From Soccer Slavery - The Times
143. Britain's Radioactive Lobsters Upset Norway - Independent
144. British Gay Activists Scale Palace
145. British Helicopters Could Shoot Themselves Down -- AFP headline
146. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands -- Daily Telegraph
147. British MPs to Drink Ethically Produced Coffee
148. British Push Bottles Up Germans
149. British Soldiers Sue over Stress in Battle -- Reuters headline
150. British Union Finds Dwarfs In Short Supply
151. Briton Gored By Bull In Intensive Care - Daily Telegraph
152. Brothel Found at Car Repair Shop -- AP headline
153. Buddhist Monk Hacks Off Errant Abbots Head With Kitchen Knife
154. Bug Spawns 100 Year Old Babies -- Metro (London)
155. Bulge In Trousers Was Ecstasy
156. Bull Swallows Autopsy Report
157. Bull's Sperm Comes Under The Hammer
158. Butter Said as Deadly as Cigarettes -- AP headline
159. Butts Slams Beer Ads Featuring Animal Sex -- UPI headline
160. C.I.A. Drafts Covert Plan to Topple Saddam
161. Cabbage Diced In Social Unrest - The Austrailian
162. Cabbage Privatised - Guardian
163. Cabbage Startles Solicitors -- Meridian News
164. California Governor Makes Stand on Dirty Toilets -- Reuters headline
165. California Hopes For An Alien Invasion To Solve Jobs Crisis - Times
Interface Supplement
166. California Seeks 13,000 Sex Offenders
167. California Wildlife Destroys Over 40 Homes
168. Canada Could Face Sperm Shortage -- Canadian Press headline
169. Canadian Prime Minister Doesn't Think Bush Is 'a Moron' -- Reuters
headline
170. Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Mann
171. Car Lost In Untended Garden - Daily Telegraph
172. Cardigan Keeps Hampshire Cosy - Guardian
173. Caribbean Bananas Are Ethical Bananas --UK Minister
174. Caribbean Islands Drift To Left
175. Carter Plans Swell Deficit
176. Carter Ticks Off Black Help
177. Cash Boost By Elderly Satan -- Dudley Express & Star.
178. Cash Boost For Truancy -- Hounslow Guardian
179. Cash Compost Means That Trees Can Grow On Money -- The Times
180. Cash Plea To Help Dyslexic Cildren -- South Wales Evening Post
181. Cat Tossing Latest Fad On Israeli Highways
182. Cats To Replace Husbands -- Times
183. Cattleman Grilled by Oprah's Lawyers
184. Cause Of Aids Found - Scientists
185. Cave Plan Arouses Stalactite Concern -- Irish Times.
186. Celibacy Could Make Priests Extinct -- Dally Record.
187. Cement Supplies Seen As Adequate
188. Cemetery Faces Grave Problems Over Space -- Basingstoke Observer
189. Central Bank Aims To Replace The Mattress -- Guardian
190. Chaos As Church Split Widens -- Nairobi Nation.
191. Chaos As Dead Rat Makes A Break For It - Manchester Evening News
192. Chaos Warning As The Sun Explodes -- Metro (London)
193. Charges Filed in Fla. Electrocution -- AP headline
194. Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
195. Chef Finds New Game as Rat Exterminator -- Reuters headline
196. Chef Gets Life for Cooking Wife -- Reuters headline
197. Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy
198. Cher Immortalized in Plastic -- AP headline
199. Chicken Banned From Crossing The Road
200. Chicken With Artificial Legs Dies A Hero -- Associated Press
201. Child Abuse Service Gains Corporate Sponsorship -- The Adelaide
Advertiser.
202. Childminders Get Right To Smack -- Daily Telegraph
203. Children Can Glow Safely -- Luton News
204. Children's Stool Great For Use In Garden
205. Child's Death Ruins Couple's Holiday
206. China Drag Queens Have Officials On Their Knees
207. Chinchilla Dirige El Museo Arqueologico Nacional -- (Chinchilla Is
Manager Of The National Archaeological Museum) El Pais (Spain).
208. Chinese Apeman Dated
209. Chocolate Biscuit Bites Man In Midnight Snack Attack -- Shetland Times
210. Chocolates, Kissing Could Help Fight Cavities -- AFP headline
211. Chopper Search For Man In Underpants -- Luton News
212. Chou Remains Cremated
213. Christ Resigns As Police Chief
214. Christian Cars Stoned in Nazareth -- AP headline
215. Christmas Trees Don't Grow On Trees
216. Christ's Plans Under Fire From Wandsworth -- Richmond & Twickenham
Times.
217. Church Goes Missing
218. Church Homes Shut For Employing Christians
219. Church In Northwick Talks -- Berrows Worcester Journal.
220. Church Members Given Right To Die -- Guardian
221. Church Plan Upsets Brothel -- Adelaide Advertiser
222. Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless -- Straits Times (Singapore)
223. City May Impose Mandatory Time, For Prostitution
224. City Pact Fight Boils
225. City Workers Rarely Fired for Doing a Bad Job -- Houston Chronicle
headline
226. Clinton Claims Credit for Y2K Quash -- AP headline
227. Clinton Demands Children's Drug Dosages
228. Clinton Places Dickey In Gore's Hands - Bangor Maine News
229. Clinton Pledges Restraint In Use Of Nuclear Weapons -- Cedar Rapids
Gazette, April 6
230. Clinton Stiff On Withdrawal - The Bosnia Bugle
231. Cloning Warning As Japanese Grow Frog Eyes In Laboratory -- Daily Mail
232. Cocaine Use Hits New High -- Brentwood Yellow Advertiser
233. Cold Is No Good For Blubs -- Richmond Borough Guardian
234. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
235. Collapsed Bridge in China Faulty -- AP headline
236. Collegians Are Turning To Vegatables
237. Columnist Gets Urologist In Trouble With His Peers
238. Commuter Tax On New Yorkers Killed In New Jersey
239. Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly
240. Complaints About NHL Referees Growing Ugly
241. Compromise on Ten Commandments -- AP headline
242. Condom Firm Streches Product Line
243. Condon's Pledge To Murder Witnesses - Daily Mail
244. Confidence Sinks in September -- UPI headline
245. Congressmen Try To Revive Suit -- International Herald Tribune.
246. Connie Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies
247. Constipation Is Not the Root of All Evil After All -- Reuters headline
248. Cookies With Condoms Fail Family Taste-Test
249. Cops: Man Steals Car to Get to [Car] Theft Hearing -- Jersey City
Journal headline
250. Cops Demanding Bribes From Aliens -- Johannesburg Star.
251. Cops Halt Doughnut Shop Robbery
252. Cops Quiz Victim In Fatal Shooting
253. Coroner In Call To Put A Stop To Drink-All-You-Can-Nights After
Death -- Sheffield Star
254. Cost of Being Poor Rising -- Denver Post headline
255. Council Informs Woman Who Died Two Years Ago She Is Dead -- Irish Times
256. Council Not Liable Over Fatally Locked Widows -- The Times
257. Council Staff Could Be Axed -- Hounslow Guardian
258. County Bars Further Erections
259. County Officials Seek Public Input On Adult Stores - Hunstville
(Texas) Item
260. County Officials To Talk Rubbish
261. Couple Names Baby After Web Site -- AP headline
262. Couple Slain: Police Suspect Homicide
263. Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear -- Journal of
Commerce, April 20
264. Court Would Not Accept God Paid For TV Licence -- Somerset Standard
265. Cow Attacks School Cook -- Halifax Evening Courier
266. Cow Disarms Soldier, Another Kills Witch
267. Cowboy Warning In Tornado-Hit Town -- Ceefax (BBC Teletext Service)
268. Crashed Jet May Have Flown Too Low -- AP headline
269. Crazed Elephant Found In Sea
270. Creepy, Crawly Creatures Invade DC -- AP headline
271. Crematorium Plans Put On Back Burner -- Selkirk Advertiser
272. Cretin Streaking Toward National Record -- Minneapolis (Mn) Star
Tribune.
273. Crime Rise Blamed On Lack Of Police -- ITV Teletext Service
274. Crook Joins Barclaycard UK -- Financial Times
275. Croupiers On Strike - Management: "No Big Deal"
276. Cuba Tries Short Cut To Tailor Economy-- The Times
277. Curious George Goes High-tech -- AP headline
278. Cuts Could Hurt Animals -- The West Briton
279. Damp Patches Discovered On Sun
280. Dead Dictator Wanted as President -- Reuters headline
281. Dead Dogs Explode -- Bakersfield Californian
282. Dead Golfer Plays His Best Round -- Sun
283. Dead Man Accuses President -- Guardian.
284. Dead Man Catches 23lb Carp -- News 0f The World
285. Dead Man Found In Cemetery
286. Dead Man Gets Job Back
287. Dead Man Remains Dead
288. Dead Man Wins His Unfair Sacking Battle -- Daily Mail
289. This headline followed: 'Dead' woman wins pension apology - BBC News
website
290. Dead Youth Had Serious Medical Condition - The Dominion (New Zealand)
291. Dead-Beats Contribute to Poverty -- AP headline
292. Deadly Centipede Chases Postman - Daily Telegraph
293. Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing
294. Deaf Magician Disqualified For Hearing -- D. Telegraph.
295. Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
296. Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
297. Dealers Will Hear Car Talk Friday At Noon
298. Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
299. Death Ruled Unavoidable - Seattle Times
300. Deer Congress To Be Held In Cork
301. Deer Kill 130,000
302. Deer Kill 17,000
303. Defendant's Speech Ends In Long Sentence.
304. Delivering "Extra Strong" Support For The Three Legged -- The Stage
305. Detective Loses Pyjamas In Chase -- Metro
306. Devil Could Play Host To The Second Coming Of The Tiger -- Brisbane
Courier Mail.
307. Devil May Postpone Release Of Calicivirus
308. Devil's Head Found In Back Seat - The Advertiser (South Austrailia)
309. Diaper Market Bottoms Out
310. Did Parrots Coexist With Dinosaurs? -- AP headline
311. Diet Of Premature Babies "Affects IQ" -- Guardian
312. Dinosaurs Struggle For Survival - Lewiston (ME) Sun Journal
313. Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows -- The
New York Times, March 10
314. Discoveries: Older Blacks Have Edge In Longevity -- The Chicago
Tribune, March 5
315. Disillusioned Angel Warns Of Too Much Pressure - Western Mail
316. Disney Stories Are Unfair On Mad People Says Doctor -- Evening Standard
317. Divine Intervention by Taxi Firm -- Border TV Regional Ceefax 313.
Full story click Here
318. Divorce Is Like A Lonely Gerbil -- Times
319. Divorce Leaves Man Blind - Sunday Times (South Africa)
320. Doctor Raps "Negligence" -- Daily Mirror
321. Doctor Testifies In Horse Suit
322. Does Sex Makes Women Sprinters Faster?? -- Reuters headline
323. Dog Accused Of Racism -- D. Telegraph
324. Dog Dirt In Park - Group Leaders Step In -- Congleton Guardian
325. Dog In Bed, Asks Divorce
326. Dogs Are Being Taught To Do Housework For The Disabled
327. Dog's Eye Saved By Pig Intestine -- Times.
328. Dolphins, Whales, Seals Do Research -- AP headline
329. Double-Hand Transplant Patient Applauds Operation -- Reuters headline
330. Doughnut Trail Leads Cops to Thief -- Reuters headline
331. Down Under Love for Princess Anne's Daughter -- Reuters headline
332. Downside to Fewer Violent Deaths: Transplant Organ Shortage Grows --
New York Times headline
333. Dr. Ruth To Talk About Sex With Newspaper Editors
334. Dragons Help Fund Cure For Diabetes -- North Bay (Ontario) Nugget.
335. Dragons Slay Galaxy -- Lewiston (Maine) Sun-Journal.
336. Drive To Ban Horse Whipping Mushrooms
337. Driver Shocked As Sheep Emerges From Pothole -- Western Mail
338. Drug Abuse "Can Be Beaten By Joint Effort"
339. Drug Dealers Dealt Heavy Blow Say Police
340. Drug Squad Nabs Flying Carpets -- Independent.
341. Drugs Fine For Businessman
342. Drugs Giant Gets Shot In Arm -- Western Dally Press.
343. Drunk Ex-US Marine Hits Corpse -- Irish Times
344. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
345. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 In '84
346. Duck Meat Pie Kills Three Colombian Nuns -- Infobeat
347. Ducks Banned From Duck Pond
348. DUI Coordinator Resigns After Being Charged With DUI -- AP headline
349. Dumped Fish Remains Upset -- Wellington (NZ) Evening Post
350. Dutch to Extend Free Heroin Hand-Outs to Addicts -- Reuters headline
351. Dutch Undertakers Hire Clown to Lighten the Mood -- PA headline
352. Dyke Calls Up Daleks To Take On Hollywood -- Sunday Times
353. E.T.'s Wife Dragged To Court -- Weekly Newswatch (Ghana)
354. Eagle Found In Man's Sink
355. Earth Summit "Offers no help for East Kent" -- East Kent Mercury
356. Economist Uses Theory To Explain Economy -- Collinsville
Herald-Journal, February 8
357. Ecstasy Found In Mans Pants -- Eastern Evening News
358. El Nino Blamed for Rise in Diarrhea in Peru
359. Elf Bribed To Get Plant -- Nairobi Nation
360. Elf Condoms Stolen -- Wolverhampton Express & Star
361. Elf To Sell Major North Sea Assets -- BBC Ceefax.
362. Eloping Lover, 92, In Court - The Times
363. Elves Laid Off as Santa Feels Pinch -- AP headline
364. Emotional Trauma May Actually Reduce Brain Size
365. End Of Cold War Does Little To Reduce Trench Coat Sales
366. Energy Executives Urge Some Gas-Emission Limits on Bush -- New York
Times headline
367. Enfant Terrible Sees a Message in Underpants
368. Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
369. English Solicitors Hope To Inspire Ugandan Ethics -- Law Society
Gazette
370. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
371. Enraged Cow Injures House
372. ET Guilty Of Attempted Murder -- The Star And SA Times International
373. EU Minister Hunts Rubber Duck to Near Extinction. -- The Times
374. EU Must Unite On Drugs
375. EU Official Hunts Rubber Duck To Near Extinction -- Times
376. EU Plans £70m Tower Of Babel -- Sunday Times
377. Eunuchs Strut Their Stuff on Indian Catwalk -- AFP headline
378. Euro MP Due To Visit Pluto - Bristol Evening Post
379. Everyday People Say They Prefer Ethics in Government -- East
Brunswick (N.J.) Home News Tribune headline
380. Evil Spirits Banned From Coffee Bar -- Daily Telegraph
381. Evil Spirits Clash With Holy Ghost
382. Ex-Dictator Broke, Living With Mom -- AP headline
383. Ex-Head Tells Of Elf's Work As Paris Agent --Int. Herald Tribune
384. Expert Has Brains Of BSE Chicken
385. Expert: Ignorance May Worsen Situation -- UPI headline
386. Experts Bury British Coal - Guardian
387. Explosion Of Professors At Universities - Sunday Times
388. Exposing the Truth: Defendant Moons Jury -- AP headline
389. Eye Drops Off Shelf
390. Face Transplants No Longer Science Fiction -- Reuters headline
391. Fairies From Outer Space Go Missing On Train To Sunderland --
Sunderland Echo
392. Fairy Returned Safe And Well -- Middlesborough Evening Gazette.
393. Fairy Tourists Spark Warning To Children -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus
394. Fake Condoms Kill Adam And Eve In China
395. Family Frantic As Mother Is Stolen
396. Family Issues Ultimatum Over Crater -- Yorkshire Regional Ceefax
397. Family Of 17 Defects From North Korea
398. Family's Ceiling Leaked Dead Birds
399. Families Jettison Meals At Table -- Times
400. Farm Worker Axed Friends to Death, Court Told -- PA headline
401. Farmer Bill Dies In House
402. Farmer Bitten Splitting Dogs
403. Fatal Mudslide Blamed On Hill
404. Faulty Parts Bring The World To A Halt
405. Fayed's Chopper Drives Us Crazy -- Ealing & Acton Gazette
406. Fears Over Singing Lollipop -- Johannesburg Times
407. Feds Step Up Laundering Crackdown -- AP headline
408. Fence Not Keeping Deer From Waltzing -- Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
409. Ferries Must Stay Afloat In Worst Of Storms, Say Safety Engineers
410. Few Britons Feel Death Had Lasting Effect On Them -- Johannesburg Star
411. Fiji Village to Apologize for Eating English Missionary -- AFP headline
412. Final Funerals In Arkansas -- Daily Telegraph
413. Fine Young Man Convicted Of Misdemeanor
414. Fish Around On New Web Sites -- Watford Observer.
415. Fish Lurk In Streams -- Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle,
January 29
416. Flaming Toilet Seat Causes Evacuation At High School
417. Fleeing Aliens Denied Entry Into Tanzania
418. Floods Only Bring More Tears
419. Florida May Need Disabled Voter Machines -- AP headline
420. Flowers To Ease Famine -- Scunthorpe Evening Telegraph
421. Fly Genes Mixed into Chicken Soup -- UPI headline
422. Flying Bishop Pursued -- Guardian
423. Flying Goats Spark Alarm
424. Flying Rabbis Try To Ward Off Iraqi Attack -- Daily Telegraph
425. "Flying Rats" Have Bank In Flap -- Irish News.
426. Food Is Basic To Student Diet --Bridgeport (Cn) Post 1/18/78
427. Foot Heads Arms Body -- Daily Mirror
428. For Valentine's Day, Try to Plan Your Spontaneity -- Indianapolis
Star headline
429. Former Manager "Growled Like A Dog" When He Bit Man's Ear -- Irish
Times
430. Former Python To Open Giraffe House -- The News (Portsmouth)
431. Fossil Scientists Track Down Oldest Footprints In The World
432. Fox Offers Mexicans An End To Monologue - Financial Times
433. Free Advice: Bundle Up When Out In The Cold -- Lexington
Herald-Leader, January 26
434. Free Speech For Aliens
435. French Minister 'Condoned Police Shooting Of Aliens' - Guardian
436. French Police Suspect Nudist Site Has Something to Hide -- AFP headline
437. Frequent Handshaking May Be Hazardous to Candidates -- AFP headline
438. Friends Trade Tattered Card for 49 Years -- AP headline
439. Frogs Satirize Racial Politics - Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
440. Frozen Semen Talks -- from an Australian paper; an article on a
visit by the Victorian Artificial Breeders Co-op
441. FT Not To Blame For Journalists' Suffering -- Independent
442. Fuchsia Talks -- Bristol Evening Post
443. Fund Set Up For Beating Victim's Kin
444. Fur Flies In Cat Kitty -- Evening News?
445. Future Bright for Super Stainless Steel -- AFP headline
446. Gas Smell Diverts Flight, But It Was Just Passengers Pants
447. Gators To Face Seminoles With Peters Out - The Tallahassee Bugle
448. Gays in Roanoke Recover After Slaying -- AP headline
449. Geckos Reveal Creativity, Expertise -- The Nambian
450. General Eisenhower Flies Back To Front
451. General Motors: Air Bag Failure Not a Concern -- AP headline
452. Genetic Engineering Splits Scientists
453. Gentler War Promised in Colombia -- AP headline
454. German Airbag Theft Exploding -- Reuters headline
455. German Army Is Told To Let Women Fight -- Int. Herald Tribune
456. German Magnetic Train Moves Forward
457. German Soldiers Fear The Arrival Of Women -- Daily Telegraph
458. Ghosts In $1M Fraud -- Melbourne Herald-Sun
459. Ghosts Take Derby -- Lynn News
460. Ghoul Drinks Blood On Bus
461. Giant Snail Shuts Down Tassie Port -- Townsville (Queensland) Austrilia
462. Giant Snails Get Set To Take Over -- Halifax Evening Courier.
463. Giant Tea Bag Kept Families Up All Night! -- Oxford Journal.
464. Giant Tea Bags Protest
465. Giant Waves down Queen Mary’s funnel -- Guardian, 1950s
466. Giantkillers Stretch Town To The Limit
467. Ginger Cat Found in Mousehole Area -- Unknown Cornish Paper
468. Girl, 14, Saved By Dog's Eyes -- Daily Post
469. Gnome Sparks Srike -- The Weekend Australian
470. God Commissions £10 Theme Park -- Building Design
471. God Gets A Parking Caution: "No Exceptions" Say Police -- York &
District Advertiser
472. God Holds Up Traffic
473. God Is 'More Important' The Second Time Around -- D. Telegraph
474. God Sends A Sign To The Heathen In The Chevy -- Independent.
475. God Throws Dice Into Black Hole
476. Golfer Charged With Drunken Driving -- AP headline
477. Golfers Warned Not To Lick Balls -- BBC Teletext News
478. Goliath Cleared Of Assaulting Piranha At Club -- The Times
479. "Goofy" Confesses To 140 Murders -- Irish Times.
480. Gore Helps Kids Learn Gibberish -- AP headline
481. Gore Stands Behind Clinton
482. Gorillas Of Rwanda Lecture At Museum Of Natural History
483. Gothic Secret Of New York's Invisible Nuns
484. Government's Attack On Greys Premature -- Victoria (Bc) Times Colonial
485. Governor Chiles Offers Rare Opportunity To Goose Hunters - The
Tallahassee Democrat
486. Governor's Penis Busy - [Should Be -Pen Is -] The New Haven
Connecticut Register
487. Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
488. Gravy Train Slows Down At Morgue -- San Francisco Examiner
489. Great Wall Getting Less Great -- Reuters headline
490. Great White Shark Battered To Death By Holidaymakers -- The Times
491. Greece Declares War on Bad Cheese -- AP headline
492. Greek Bars Close Early In Protest At Early Closure
493. Green Man Causes Jams -- Walthamstow (London) Guardian
494. Groin Kick Led To 7-Day Erection -- Examiner (Cork - Ireland)
495. Grover Man Draws Prison Term, Fine For Sex Acts
496. Guinea-Pig Judge Quits
497. Gunman Shot By 999 Cops -- Daily Mirror
498. "Gunproof" Chief Shot -- South China Morning Post
499. Gynecologist, Friar In Wine Deal
500. Haddock Bids For NFU Leadership -- Western Morning News
501. Haddock Leads The Race For Top Farmers' Job -- Western Daily Press
502. Hairdo Kills Mum - Daily Mirror
503. Hairdresser "On Another Planet" -- Southampton Daily Echo
504. Half-Blind Swede Loses Battle for Half-Price TV -- Reuters headline
505. Half Of Scottish Farms In The Red -- The Scotsman 25/01/2000. Also
in the same paper
506. Half Of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study For Graduation
507. Half Women Living In Fear -- Daily Record
508. Half-Million Italian Women Seen On Pill
509. Hamiltons To Be Shot Into Space -- Midweek Visitor (Southport)
510. Happiness Cannot Be Bought but it Lengthens Life
511. Harrowing, Hungry Voyage For 22 Aliens -- New York Daily News
512. Head In Pot Lands Man In Can -- Rockland (NY) Journal News
513. Head of Anti-Violence Group Arrested for Hitting Referee -- AP headline
514. Heads Fly To Funeral
515. Heads In Short Supply
516. Heads Thrown Out Of Meeting -- Woolwich & Plumstead News Shopper
517. Headless Chickens Roam The Commons -- Daily Express
518. Health Officials Were Given Hip Warning In 1995 -- The Times
519. Heart Donor Recovers -- Irish Independant
520. Heaven Is Giving Up Smoking, Says Pope -- Daily Mail.
521. Henman Sees Balls As Key To His Success -- Evening Standard
522. Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity, To Goose Hunters
523. Hershey Bars Protest
524. Higher Costs Explain Why U.S. is Cheaper than U.K. -- Reuters headline
525. Hitler Hits Tourists -- - Wolverhampton Express & Star
526. Hitler Travelled For Years After Death -- Melbourne Age.
527. Hitler, Nazi Papers Found In Attic
528. Hobgoblins Have A Wardrobe Problem -- Cornishman
529. Holy Russia Quashes Alien Worship -- Independent
530. Home Secretary To Act On Video Nasties
531. Honey, Let's Dye the Dog Red and Green for Christmas -- AFP headline
532. Hooked on Internet? Help Is a Just a Click Away -- Reuters headline
533. Hooters Off-Limits to Coast Guard
534. Hopes Soar For First Supersonic Pumpkin Flight - The Times
535. Hornets Will Accent Throwing Game In '81
536. Horse Goes Back In Time For New Look -- The Licensee.
537. Hospital Ban On Babies -- Newark Advertiser
538. Hospital Plans Hinge On Roads -- Oxford Times.
539. Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
540. Hostage-Taker Kills Self; Police Shoot Each Other
541. Hotel Burns.Two Hundred Guests Escape Half Glad
542. Hotline To God Great Success -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus.
543. House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate
544. How Many Condoms Is Enough?
545. How Sardines Saved Stranded Potholers -- Daily Mail.
546. How to Drink and Still Stay Sober -- Reuters headline
547. How We Feel About Ourselves Is The Core Of Self-Esteem, Says Author
Louise Har -- Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
548. Human Version of Fly Gene Found
549. Humpty Dumpty Wins Award For Balance
550. Hundreds Hurt During Annual Stone-throwing Festival -- PA news headline
551. Hungry Body Ate Fasting Buddhist Alive -- The Times
552. Hunt For Doorstep Attacker -- Halifax Evening Courier
553. Hunt For Killer Toxic Lard -- Homg Kong Standard
554. Husband Bites Wife's 'Thing' - The Monitor (Uganda)
555. Husband Put Rat Poison In Wife's Tea "As A Health Cure" -- Daily
Telegraph
556. Husband's Internet Date Turns out to Be His Wife -- PA headline
557. I Did Exist Says Major -- Mirror.
558. Iceberg Blamed For Dysentery
559. Idaho Group Organizes To Help, Service Widows
560. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly It May Last A While
561. Ike Says Nixon Can't Stand Pat
562. Illinois Mulls Capital Punishment Reform after Mistakes -- AFP headline
563. I'm Not Cruel Says Maggot Dog Woman -- South Avon Mercury
564. Impotent Must Say No To Sausages And Bacon -- Times.
565. Incest More Common Than Thought In America
566. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
567. India's Nuclear Yeti
568. Indicted Man Might Be Part Of Plot -- AP headline
569. Infant Morality Shows Drop Here
570. Infertility Unlikely To Be Passed On
571. Inmate Electrocuted On Toilet
572. Inquest Opens on Dead Woman -- Bath Chronicle
573. Insect Sex Organs Rise From The Dead -- New Scientist
574. Insects Play Important Role In Helping To Solve Crimes -- Irish Times.
575. Invisible Man Comes Out Of Hiding -- Sydney Daily Telegraph.
576. Invisible Man Disappears From View -- Reuters headline
577. Invisible Man Faked Death In Paddington Rail Crash -- Sunday Times
578. Invisible Tenants Get Council Cash -- Wimbledon Independent.
579. Iowa Move Back To Pittsburgh
580. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
581. Irish Mice Win Design Award -- Irish Times.
582. Irish Peat Bogs Rocked By Great Sheep Explosion
583. Irish Robots Win At Volleyball -- Irish Times.
584. Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
585. Isn't It Dangerous Trying To Drive Two Cars At Once? -- Leyton Guardian
586. Israeli Men Say Better Sex Would Create Social Peace
587. Israeli Religious Leader Bans Nose Picking on Sabbath
588. It's Always Best To Avoid Killer Bee Hives.
589. Italian Plane Passengers See Flames, Vote to Land -- Reuters headline
590. Jail Guard Probe In Prison Sex
591. Janet Jackson Has Another, Um, Single Out -- Arizona Republic headline
592. Japan, Russia Still Far Apart on Islands -- Reuters headline
593. Jesus "Not A Hedgehog" -- Church Times
594. Jocelyn Elders Forces Clinton's Hand -- Associated Press headline
595. Judge Acts To Reopen Theater
596. Judge Issues Preliminary Injunction In Cigarette Display Case --
Asheville (Nc) Citizen-Times.
597. Judge Says Texas is Part of U.S.
598. Judge To Rule On Nude Beach
599. Judgement Day Date Delayed
600. Judges To Learn "Human Awareness"
601. Jupiter Out Of Orbit Over Resignation -- Irish Times.
602. Jury Clears Cow in Car Accident -- AP headline
603. Jury Finds Pope Guilty Of Homicide -- This Week In The News
604. Jury Gets Drunk Driving Case Here
605. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
606. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
607. Kids' Pajamas To Be Removed By Woolworth
608. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
609. King's Missing Dung Sparks Crisis -- Weekly Telegraph.
610. Kissinger Allegedly Forges Mideast Pact
611. Kremlin May Decide Outcome Of Cavan-Monaghan Election -- Irish Times
612. Kruger Park Lions Dying Like Flies -- Sunday Times (Johannesburg)
613. L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
614. Labour Councillors Worried About Disappearing Trains
615. Lack Of Brains Hinders Research -- The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
616. Lack Of Water Hurts Ice Fishing
617. Landlord Sentenced to Die for Eating Tenant -- Reuters headline
618. Landmines -- Diana On Last Leg Of Trip -- Bbc Ceefax
619. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
620. Large Celestial Object Stuns Astronomers -- New Scientist
621. Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find -- The Los Angeles
Times, November 2
622. Latin Course To Be Canceled - No Interest Among Students, Et Al.
623. Law Prohibits Swearing Around the Dead -- AP headline
624. Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
625. Lawyer Calls Soul As Witness
626. Lawyer Frees Own Killer -- News 0f The World
627. Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advise
628. Lazy, Fat Dragons To Go On Crash Diet In Zoo
629. Legal Actions Aim To Prevent 'Anorexic And Alien Body' Being Built
-- Irish Times.
630. Legislature Follows the Law, Does Little
631. Legless Priest Steals Armless Man's Wife -- News 0f The World.
632. Lesbian Ex-Nun Witch Hits Bad Spell In N.Y. -- New York Post
633. Lesotho Women Make Great Carpets -- Unknown Source, Quoted By John
Preston, Sunday Telegraph.
634. Less Formal Orthodox Church Sought -- AP headline
635. Let The People Decide On Drugs -- Observer
636. Life Means Caring For Hospital Director
637. "Light" Meals Are Lower In Fat, Calories -- Huntington
Herald-Dispatch, November 30
638. Lightning Strikes Worshippers
639. Limp Bizkit Singer: Money's Not All
640. Lingerie Shipment Hijacked -Thief Gives Police The Slip
641. Lions Elect New District Governor
642. Lions Put On Dog Show -- West Briton (Cornwall)
643. Lions Say That Was Then, This Is Now -- Johannesburg Citizen
644. Lions Still Preying On Aliens -- The Star And Sunday South African
Times
645. Lisa Hall Wins Worst Hole Contest -- Ely (Nevada) Daily Times
646. Listen Up, Your Dog Wants to Tell You Something -- Reuters headline
647. Living Saint Laid To Rest --Examiner
648. Lizard Re-routes Queen's Plane -- D. Telegraph.
649. Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
650. Local Man Has Longest Horns In Texas
651. London 4800 Nurses Short -- Evening Standard
652. London Bus Goes Down Well In Moscow -- Dundee Courier.
653. Londons Homeless To Live In Admiralty Arch - The Times
654. Long Island Stiffens For Lili's Blow - Newsday
655. Lord's Mother Suing Diocese
656. Lost Scissors Found In Woman -- Guardian.
657. Lost Trees Found In Scottish Highlands
658. Low Wages Said Key To Poverty -- Newsday, July 11
659. Low-Cost Rabies Shots To Be Offered In Transylvania -- Ashville
Citizen-Times
660. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
661. Lutherans OK Pact With Episcopalians -- AP headline
662. Mad Cow Talks -- Huddersfield Daily Examiner
663. Maddened Cow Leads Farmers' Protest -- The Times
664. Mafia Boss Escapes in Wheelchair
665. Maggots Tackle Raiders
666. Magician Nearly Killed By Doves -- West Briton
667. Magician's Car Vanishes
668. Malaysian Transvestites Whack Religious Police with Handbags -- AFP
headline
669. Male Infertility Can Be Passed on to Children -- Reuters headline
670. Male Naturist Members Rise -- Big Issue North
671. Malls Try To Attract Shoppers -- The Baltimore Sun, October 22
672. Man Accused Of Excessively Passing Wind
673. Man Admits Stuffing Shrimp into Pants -- AP headline
674. Man Allegedly Beaten By Woman With A Frozen Fish
675. Man Appears Over Swimming Pool Body -- Bbc North Ceefax.
676. Man Attacked By Canal
677. Man Bit Head Off Girlfriend's Pet Gerbil -- Birmingham Post
678. Man Blames Reckless Driving on Martians -- Reuters headline
679. Man Died Of Natural Causes -- Wirral News Group
680. Man Dies After 25 Years in a Bus Shelter -- Reuters headline
681. Man Dies After Life Support Removed
682. Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish
683. Man Executed in Texas, Oklahoma -- AP headline
684. Man Fights Ravenous Moth With Sex -- Victoria (BC) Times-Colonist
685. Man Fined For Quacking
686. Man Frees Self From Mailbox
687. Man Goes Berserk in Car Saleroom, Many Volvos Hurt -- Reuters headline
688. Man Held In Miami After Shooting Bee
689. Man Held Over Giant L.A. Brush Fire
690. Man Hurt By Fairy Cake
691. Man Hurt When Compacted in Garbage Truck -- Reuters. Full the story
click Here
692. Man In Rat Row Had Drunk 17 Pints Of Cider -- Halifax Evening Courier
693. Man Is Fatally Slain
694. Man Jailed After Restaurant Row - Indian Staff Terrified As He
Demands Italian Food -- Aberdeen Evening Express.
695. Man Jailed For Exaggerating Pain -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail
696. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
697. Man Of God Kicks Dog In Head -- Peterborough Eve. Telegraph.
698. Man on Singles Holiday Finds Himself Alone -- PA headline
699. Man on Way to Brothel Finds Wife Working -- Reuters headline
700. Man Ordered To Marry Cow
701. Man Plunges Over Cliff While Posing For Photo -- PA headline
702. Man Run Over By Freight Train Dies -- The Los Angeles Times, March 2
703. Man Says Israeli Police Shot Him -- AP headline
704. Man Shaved For Using Prophetess' toilet -- East African Standard
705. Man Shoots Neighbor With Machete -- The Miami Herald, July 3
706. Man Shot By Shed -- Sun
707. Man Shot In Los Boliches -- The Town Crier (Malaga)
708. Man Sought At Sea Was In Bed
709. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
710. Man Takes Garbage Truck at Gunpoint -- Madison (Indiana) Courier
headline
711. Man Tells Police His Crack Dealer Ran over Him -- Greenville (S.C.)
News headline
712. Man Tossing Knife in the Air Stabs Self in Head -- AP headline
713. Man Vanishes While Driving - Providence Journal-Bulletin
714. Man Wins Trip For "Fathering" Rhino
715. Man Wins His Job Back After He Dies -- Daily Mirror
716. Man With One Arm And Leg Cheats On Other Half -- News Of The World
717. Mandelson's Dog Is Reported Ready To Fly -- Irish Times
718. Mangoes Bring Down Plane - The Sunday Mail (Brisbane, Australia)
719. Manhunt For Former Elf Boss -- Irish Times.
720. Man's Bitten Finger Was 'Trespassing' -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus.
721. Many Antiques Seen At D.A.R. Meeting
722. Many Women at Risk of Being Murdered Don't Know It -- Reuters headline
723. Marbles Tortured, Says Minister -- Irish Times.
724. March Planned For Next August
725. Marriage Marred By Mashed Spud Mania
726. Married Priests In Catholic Church A Long Time Coming - The New
Haven Connecticut Register
727. Martian Blamed For Lib Dem Election Losses -- Woking News & Mail
728. Mary Poppins Is A Black Man -- Economist.
729. Masked Man On Horse Offered Drugs To Garda -- Irish Times
730. Mass Poisoning In Donkey Soup War -- Wolverhampton Express & Star,
731. "Master Idiot" Did Not Know Picasso Was In Suitcase -- Guardian
732. Mayor Bans SEX At Local Library -- Mesa Tribune, (after the book,
SEX, by Madonna was released)
733. Mayor Is Ousted By Mice -- Western Daily Press
734. Mayor's Ball Is Back On The Menu -- Gloucestershire Echo
735. Meat Head Fights Hike In Minimum Pay
736. Memorial Pool Now a Crumbled Mess -- AP headline
737. Memories Are Stolen After Burglars Raid Oap's Home -- Wiltshire Star.
738. Men Get A Lesson On Kerb Crawling - The Times
739. Men In Black Fail To Attract Sponsors -- Daily Telegraph
740. Men Recommend More Clubs For Wives
741. Men Think Their Way to Fertility -- Reuters headline
742. Merlin Meets The Pope -- Reading Evening Post
743. Mermaid Entertains Popular Hunchback
744. Mermaid Rescue Plan Falters
745. Messiah Climaxes In Chorus Of Hallelujahs - The Anchorage Alaska Times
746. Mexican Leader Crashes To Earth
747. Mexican Police Arrest Horse For Damaging Car - Daily Texan
748. Mexico Church Calls Santa a Drunk -- AP headline
749. Miami Considers Staying Put -- New York Times headline
750. Mice Blamed For Missing Drinks -- Wolverhampton Express & Star
751. Mice To Be Bombed
752. Mickey Mouse Found In Antartic Ice -- Modern Astronomy Magazine
753. Middle East Villages On The Move To Australia -- Brisbane Courier Mall
754. Mike Tyson Accused Of Cruelty To Ferrets -- Times.
755. Milk Drinkers Are Turning To Powder
756. Milkman Finds Leg
757. Mimes Blamed For Abusive Language
758. Miners Refuse To Work After Death
759. Ministers Son Held On Drugs -- Daily Mirror
760. Mirror Plans Rival To FT -- Observer
761. Missing Link Blamed For Road Deaths -- Newark Advertiser
762. Missing Teen Tied To Bones
763. "Missing" WPC Found Weeping In Panda
764. Mistook Inmate's Noose For Decoration, Court Told -- Dundee Courier
And Advertiser
765. Mobile Phone Threat To Universe
766. Moggy Found But Now The Owners Are Lost -- Waltham Forest (London)
Independant
767. Mole Embraces Supermarkets
Sandy Mole Is A D&G Planning Official. - Dumfries & Galloway Standard
768. Mole's Conviction Is Quashed -- Wiltshire Times
769. Mondale's Offensive Looks Hard To Beat
770. Monitor Lizard Fails To Explode In MP's Toilet
771. Monster Growing Out Of Control -- Guardian
772. Monsters Take To The Streets -- Sunday Mail (Queensland)
773. Months To Wait For Mouldy Flat Family -- The Citizen (Gloucester)
774. Moose Cheese To Oust Dung As Swedish Souvenir
775. More Exercise May Help Weight Loss -- AP headline
776. Moroccan Dog Was Unexploded Bomb
777. Morticians Fight Over Corpse -- Canberra Times
778. MP's Mother Joins Critic Of His Plans To "Keep Greys Away" -- Times
779. Mr. Coffee Expands its Line to Sell ... Coffee -- South Florida
Sun-Sentinel headline
780. Mrs. Corson's Seat Up For Grabs
781. Mrs. Rydell's Bust Unveiled, At Nearby School
782. Murdered Fiancés Present Petition To Number 10 -- Teletext
783. Myth and Monsters exhibition entertains and eductaes -- Westminster
Independent
784. Mythical Beast Brings City Grim Message
785. N.J. Judge To Rule On Nude Beach
786. Nader Calls Convention a 'Carnival' -- AP headline
787. Nanny Calm As Troops Close In
788. NASA Briefly Loses Contact With Atlantis - Lewiston (ME)
789. Nasa To Spend $1b On Asteroids -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail
790. Nation's Hungry Attack Meese.
791. National Slacker Day May Be Too Much Effort -- Reuters headline
792. Naturism Seeks Raised Profile -- Hastings and St. Leonards Observer
793. Naval Divers To Help Sharks Settle In -- Irish Times
794. Navy To Make Boats -- -- South China Morning Post
795. Neighbours Fear Golf Balls -- Richmond and Twickenham Times
796. Nelson's Hair Saved Grandson -- Times
797. Never Withhold Herpes From Loved One
798. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
799. New Autos To Hit 5 Million
800. New compensation rules for late flights delayed by a year -- The Times
801. New Head Of Rail Body -- Hammersmith And Fulham Post
802. New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead
803. New Lease Of Life For The Wizard – Halifax Evening Courier
804. New Markets Found For Poor Peruvians -- The Times
805. New Missouri U. Chancellor Expects Little Sex
806. New South Wales Government Moves To Tighten Testosterone Availability
807. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
808. New Tabloid "Owned By God"
809. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
810. New York Bans Judgement Day -- Guardian
811. New Zealand Scientists Use Balloon to Measure Cattle Farts -- AFP
headline
812. News Crew Pickpocketed While Covering Pickpocket Story -- Mainichi
Shimbun (Japan) headline
813. Nicaragua Sets Goal To Wipe Out Literacy
814. Nickers Leave Hospital Crutchless
815. Night School To Hear Pest Talk
816. Nine Yard Men Turn Supergrass -- Evening Standard
817. North Dakota Child Found To Spread Tuberculosis -- Reuters.
818. North Korean Leader Names Ancient Frog "Ancient Frog"
819. Nothing Destroyed In Fire But Damage Near $100,000
820. Nuclear Fuel Sent To Japan "Unsafe" -- Guardian.
821. Nude Scene Done Tastefully In Radio Play
822. Nudist Welfare Worker's Model Wife Falls for Chinese Hypnotist from
the Co-op Bacon Factory -- News of the World
823. Nuns Drop Suit; Bishops Agree To Aid Them
824. Nurse Fends Off Crocodile -- Irish Independent
825. Nurses Warn Against Rash Use Of Herbal Oil Treatments -- The Guardian
826. Ny Ponders Beating Victim -- AP Headline
827. Oap Fined For Limping Too Slowly -- Mirror
828. Oasis Album Could Be Record
829. Objections Raised To Quake Aid For Aliens
830. Officer Convicted Of Accepting Bride
831. Officers Shoot Dead Burglar In Siege -- Times
832. Official: Only Rain Will Cure Drought -- The Herald-News, Westpost,
Massachusetts
833. Officials Consider Bridge Suicide
834. Officials: Elvis is Still Dead -- AP headline
835. Old Guy Found Wandering at Stadium -- AP headline
836. Old School Pillars Are Replaced By Alumni
837. Omagh Team Aims To Make Pigs Fly Gracefully -- Irish Times
838. One In Three UK Girls Regret Drunken Sex
839. "Only Jail Will Stop Me", Says Illegal False Teeth Fitter
840. Only Poets Can Save Us From Millennium Buggery -- Times Of India
841. Opossum Squashing Ignites Debate
842. Oprah, Madonna Talk Marriage
843. Organ Festival Ends In Smashing Climax - San Antonio Rose
844. Oscar Proves God Is A Mexican -- Guardian.
845. Ottawa May Tackle Homeless -- Toronto Star headline
846. Our Kids Die More Often: Nt Report -- Darwin Suburban
847. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
848. Panther Mauled In Election For Mayor -- Hong Kong Standard.
849. Panthers Destroy Viking Visitors -- Peterborough Evening Telegraph.
850. Passengers To Wait 10 Years For Fast Trains -- The Times
851. Pastor Aghast After First Lady Sex Position
852. Pastor Fighting To Stop Shop Selling Inflatable Sheep On Sundays -
Western Mail
853. Patient At Death's Door -Doctors Pull Him Through
854. Patient With Bad Knee Has Surgery On Healthy Tooth
855. Pavarotti Anticipating Eclipse -- AP headline
856. Pd Senator Speculates On A Future In Outer Space -- Irish Times
857. Peacock Pops Alien Invaders
858. Pelicans May Be Turned Into Puffins -- The News(Portsmouth).
859. Penguin Dung May Hold Key To Human Flu -- South China Morning Post
860. Peruvian Head Takes Mystery Trip – Seattle Times
861. Petroleum Jelly Keeps Idle Tools Rust -Free - Chicago Daily News
862. Phallus Museum Erected in Reykjavik
863. Phantom Actor Sues -- Daily Telegraph
864. Phantom Bus Didn't Show -- South Bucks Star
865. Phantom Patients Offer Healthy Income -- Guardian
866. Phantom Told To Pay Wife £3,000 A Month -- Metro (London).
867. Physicist Recommends Bigger Balls To Slow Down Male Tennis Players -
Guardian
868. Pig Music Ordered Turned Down -- AP headline
869. Pigs Fly Flag For Farmers -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail
870. Pilot Vows To Quit Flying After Landing On His Wife
871. Pirates Could Be Jailed -- Halifax Evening Courier.
872. Pit Bulls Love You, Really
873. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
874. Planned Parenthood Looking For Volunteers
875. Planning Experts At Odds On Impact Of "Missing Link"
876. Plastic Factory Worked Burned -- Coventry Eve. Telegraph
877. Platform Shoes Claim Another Life -- Reuters headline
878. Please Visit Cairo but Without Your Chimpanzee Friends, Officials Say
879. Plenty of Sex Advised for Successful Pregnancy -- Reuters headline
880. Pogo Stick Girl Saves Mother From Knifeman
881. Pole Sets World Record for Pole-Sitting -- AP headline
882. Police: Body Cavity Search Reveals Crack -- La Crosse (Wisc.)
Tribune headline
883. Police: Man Killed Wife, Self, Set Fire -- Houston Chronicle headline
884. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
885. Police Discover Crack In Australia
886. Police Find Burglar Through Yellow Snow He Left Behind -- Reno
Gazette-Journal headline
887. Police Hunt Spoons -- Falmouth Packet
888. Police Kill Youth In Effort To Stop His Suicide Attempt
889. Police Pay £20,000 For Dead Parrots -- Daily Record.
890. Police Plea On Speed -- Northampton Herald & Post.
891. Police Probe 'Suspicious' Body in Cemetery -- PA headline
892. Police Say Man Who Swallowed $37,500 Gem Has Yielded Loot -- Chicago
Tribune headline
893. Police Seek Witnesses To Assault -- Richmond Borough Guardian
894. Police Search Home 300 Times, Find Nothing -- Reuters headline
895. Police Sing For Animals -- Brighton & Hove Albion.
896. Police Spray Knife Man On Train -- Sydney Dally Telegraph.
897. Police Suspicious after Body Found in Graveyard -- Halifax (Canada)
Chronicle-Herald headline
898. Police Target "Invisible" Cycle Riders -- Cornish Guardian
899. Police Want Extra Eyes To Catch Impaired Drivers -- North Bay Nugget
(Ontario)
900. Police Work a Lot Safer Than in 1970 -- AP headline;
Two Cops Killed Attempting Arrest -- AP headline that appeared much
later the same day
901. Political Apathy Growing, Poll Shows -- UPI Headline
902. Politician Says Too Busy to Cheat on His Wife -- Reuters headline
903. Pope To Fly In Hellfire Helicopter -- D. Telegraph.
904. Portable Toilet Bombed Police Have Nothing To Go On -Newton Daily News
905. Postmen Taught How To Walk -- Daily Mail
906. Postmistress Is Sued By Killer For Missing FT -- Daily Telegraph
907. Potato, Dancing Raisins Cut a Deal -- AP headline
908. Potential Of Dublin As A "Solar Capital" Is Discussed
909. Poverty Lags In Mississippi Delta
910. Prehistoric Man Gets Lift In A Hearse -- Western Mail
911. [President] Bush "Dramatically Less Visible" -- AP headline
912. Presidential Footwear on Display -- AP headline
913. Priest Duels With Dracula -- Mltcham & Morden Guardian.
914. [Roman Catholic] Priest Pleads Guilty to Making Date-Rape Drug --
Reuters
915. Priest in Fatal Crash Improves -- Lakeland (Fla.) Ledger headline
916. Prosecution Paints O.J. As A Wife-Killer -- Fort Lauderdale
Sun-Sentinel, January 25
917. Prosecutor Releases Probe Into Undersheriff
918. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
919. Prostitutes To Hold Open Day -- Irish Times
920. Protecting Thanet's Cuntryside -- Adscene - Thanet
921. Psychic Ferrets Take Over Couple's World -- Derby Evening Telegraph
922. Psychotic White Rhino Boards Freedom Flight
923. Public Swings In Favour Of The Prince-- The Times
924. Pupils Train As Counsellors To Help Upset Classmates -- The Times
925. Pusat Islam: Aliens Among Shi'ite Leaders
926. Putin Pardons Pope - Brisbane Courier Mail
927. Pygmy Caught In Mousetrap -- Northampton Chronicle & Echo
928. Python Savages Parrot -- Wales On Sunday
929. QEH Spending $1.2m To Help Curb Bowl Cancer -- The Advertiser
930. Quarter Of A Million Chinese Live On Water
931. Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
932. Race Cyclists Caught Speeding -- Reuters headline
933. Rats Con Woman, 78, Out Of £3000 Savings -- Greenwhich Mercury
934. Rattle To Lead Berlin Philharmonic -- AP headline
935. Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
936. Real Godmother Becomes Fairy Godmother -- The Dally Observer (St
John's, Antigua).
937. Recreational Use of Viagra Dangerous -- UPI headline
938. Rector With Crowbar Seeks To Lay Nun's Ghost -- Daily Graphic.
939. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
940. Report: Depression Causes Impotence
941. Report: U.S. Scientists Create 'Living Breasts'
942. Research: Beer Stops Cancer Damage -- UPI headline
943. Researcher Links Obesity, Food Portions -- AP headline
944. Researchers Locate Tomato Gene -- AP headline
945. Researchers Can See Thoughts
946. Revolt By Yard Men
947. Rhode Island Seeks Weightless Prison -- Lewiston (ME) Sun Journal
948. Rhode Island to Honor Mr. Potato Head -- AP headline
949. Ribena Offer To Blood Service
950. Right To Die Advocate Found Dead.
951. Rise Of 'Mutants' Leaves France A Divided Nation – Times
952. Risque Business: Misguided Skating Officials Are Cracking down on
Pelvis-Pumping and Lap-Dancing - as Though People Actually Want to Watch
Olympians Skate -- San Francisco Chronicle headline
953. RJB To Spend £50m On Lifting Australian Stake - The Times
954. Robber Holds Up Albert's Hosiery
955. Robber Sawed His Father In Half
956. Robbers Attack School in Pretoria -- AP headline
957. Rolling Stones Give Free Concert - No One Killed -- Reuters headline
958. Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself -- from the Chicago
Rotary Club journal Gyrator
959. RSPCA Fights Motorbikes For Hamsters -- Daily Telegraph
960. Russia Unsure of Where Fugitive Is -- AP headline
961. Russian Troops Tell Of Invisible Enemy -- Guardian.
962. Russia's Economic Woes Outweigh The Universe -- Guardian
963. Russia's Statistics Boss Accused of Fraud
964. S. Africa Battles Invasion Of Alien Water-Snatchers -- Daily Yomiuri
(Japan)
965. S. Florida Illegal Aliens Cut In Half By New Law
966. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
967. Saints Overrun Hapless Halifax -- Guardian.
968. Salesman Says He Left, 4 Large Rings In Malden Bathtub
969. Sand Found On Beach Shocker -- Hartlepool Mail
970. Santa Accused of Slapping Child -- Reuters
971. Santa Gives Jesus The Sack -- Guardian
972. Santa Rosa Man Denies He Commited Suicide In South San Francisco
973. 'Santa' Steals Painkiller From Drug Store -- AP headline
974. Saudi Takes Four Wives in One Night to Spite His Ex -- AFP headline
975. Save My Life And I'll Sue You, Warned Suicide Note -- Daily Telegraph
976. Save Streams, Fish Head Warns -- Bainbridge (GA) Review
977. Saving The Whale From Space -- BBC News Online
978. Scared of Y2K? Head for a Nuclear Reactor -- Reuters headline
979. Scent Foul Play In Death Of Man Found Bound And Hanged
980. School Praised After Vandalism -- West Briton
981. School Says Boy in Drag Can't Be Queen -- Reuters headline
982. Science Confirms: Politicians Lie -- Reuters headline
983. Scientists Find "Cure" For Sex-Change Fish -- Evening Standard (London)
984. Scientists Grow Human Arms And Legs On Trees! - People & Places (Ghana)
985. Scientists Hoping To Grow Their Own Livers -- Daily Record
986. Scientists See Quakes In L.A. Future -- The Oregonian, January 28
987. Scientists To Have Ford's Ear
988. [Indian] Scientists Use Radiation to Cure Flatulence -- Reuters
headline
989. Scots Experts To Help Georgia's Rural Economy -- The Scotsman
25/01/2000
990. Scottish Scientists Plan Search For Laziness Gene -- Reuters headline
991. Senate Passes Death Penalty Measure Provides For Electrocution For
All Persons Over 17
992. Senators Maintain Their Hold On Devils -- Newark (NJ) Star Ledger
993. Seven Foreigners, Seven Locals Up Each Other At Wotulu Memorial --
Inodnesioan Observer
994. Severed Hand Saved By Peas -- The Sun
995. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
996. Sex Scandal Vicar Seeks New Position
997. Sex Up and Down after September 11 -- Reuters headline
998. Shark Dies Biting Man
999. Sharks Gored In Bullring -- Sunday Times (Johannesburg)
1000. Shell Found on Beach -- (Brighton Argus, UK)
1001. Sheep Answers Monk's Prayer -- Darlington & Stockton Times
1002. Shirtless Woman Joyrides in Stolen Police Cruiser -- Denver Post
headline
1003. Shooting Suspect Said Hot-Tempered -- AP headline
1004. Shops Put "In Peril By Flowers"
1005. Shot Man Mistaken For Feral Cat: Police
1006. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
1007. Sick Skunks Overrun Massachusetts -- Lewiston (Me:) Sun Journal.
1008. Silent Bar Staff And Customers With Three Legs At Inn -- West Briton
(Cornwall).
1009. Silent Teamster Boss Gets Unusual Punishment, Lawyer
1010. Silicon Boys Have More Time to Look for Love -- AFP headline
1011. Six Take £8m Pot -- News Of The World
1012. Slave Sale Aids Charity -- Gloucester Echo
1013. Slow Progress For Rotting Estate Victims -- Glossop (Derbyshire)
Advertiser
1014. Small Town Celebrates "Toilet Fest" -- AP headline
1015. Smaller Families Recquire Less Food
1016. Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
1017. Smokers Have Odd Brains
1018. Snake Throws Master Into Cell
1019. Snake Venom Slows Breast Tumor Growth -- UPI headline
1020. Sneak Attack By Soviet Bloc Not Foreseen --The Atlanta Journal 4/4/79
1021. Snow Storms May Be Precursor of Winter -- AP headline
1022. Snowman Accused Of Indecency - Daily Telegraph
1023. Snowman Quits Top Opera Job -- Times
1024. Some People Have Been Gormless Since 1746 -- Daily Telegraph
1025. Some Phone Psychics Provide Useless, Erroneous Information
1026. Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction
1027. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
1028. Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again
1029. Spaniard Hits Girlfriend at Anti-Violence Rally
1030. Spaniards Study Inside of Ham
1031. Special Events Mark Domestic Violence Month -- Seattle
Post-Intellgencer.
1032. Spiders Signed Up For Army
1033. Split Rears In Farmers' Movememt
1034. Spooked Elephants Riot At Suburban Mall
1035. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
1036. Squirrel Ransacks House Looking For Peanuts -- D Telegraph.
1037. Squirrel Sleuth Cracks Robbery -- Reuters headline
1038. Squirrel Turns City Dark, Sets Grass Fire -- Ogden (Ut)
Standard-Examiner.
1039. Squirrels Eating Tokyo -- High Desert Advocate (West Wendover, Nevada).
1040. St Malo: Largest Amount Of Cannabis Ever Seized In Joint Operation
-- Jersey Evening Post
1041. Stabbing Doesn't Spoil Friendship
1042. Stadium Air Conditioning Fails - Fans Protest
1043. Staff Dig Deep For Children -- Gloucestershire Echo.
1044. Stampede For Compost
1045. State Will Poison Rivers So It Can Count Dead Fish
1046. Statistics Show That Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After
Age 25 -- Mary Ann Tebdo Republican Senator From Colorado Springs
1047. Steals Clock, Faces Time
1048. Stealth Fighter Crashes Into A Time Warp -- Irish Times.
1049. Steel-Eating Microbes Threaten To Devour Britain's Ports --
Independent On Sunday.
1050. Stephen King Impersonator Steals 5,000 Lobsters
1051. Sterilizations Solves Problems, For Pets, Owners
1052. Stiff Opposition Expected To Casketless Funeral Plan
1053. Stiff Opposition To Casketless Funeral Plan
1054. Stock Market Succumbs to Reality -- AP headline
1055. Stolen Painting Found By Tree
1056. Stop Strimming Hedgehogs -- Nottingham Evening Post
1057. Strawberry Charged Over Sex And Drugs -- Int. Herald Tribune,
1058. Strawberry Speaks Of Death Wish -- Int. Herald Tribune
1059. Straw's Pledge To Rape Victims -- Express
1060. Stretches Of M62 Have "Vanished" -- Huddersfield Daily Examiner
1061. Strike Over, Twinkie Shortage Ends -- AP headline
1062. Stud Tires Out
1063. Study Finds Broad Problems in Army
1064. Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -- Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995
1065. Study Links Menopause, Aging
1066. Study: Ape Herpes Viruses May Be Transmissible to Humans -- Reuters
headline
1067. Study: Alcohol May Prevent Dementia -- AP headline
1068. Study: Depressed Women Live Longer -- AP headline
1069. Study: Drinking, Fainting Connected -- AP headline
1070. Study: Duct Tape Doesn't Seal Ducts -- AP headline
1071. Study: Ecstasy Causes Brain Damage -- AP headline
1072. Study: Gay Clergy Disregarding Church Ban On Celibacy
1073. Study: Narcissists are Dangerous
1074. Study: Obesity Can Shorten Lifespan -- AP headline
1075. Students Compete for Pillow Fight Record -- AP headline
1076. Substitute Teachers Seeking Respect -- AP headline
1077. Successful Heads May Be Shared -- Daily Telegraph
1078. Sues Bride Of 4 Mouths
1079. Suit Says Hospital Mistook Constipation For Cancer
1080. Summer Treat: Ice Cream "Isn't Health Food" -- Reuters headline
1081. Superheroes Make Kids Eat Fruit and Vegetables -- Reuters headline
1082. Surgery For Duck Hurt By Anglers Left Hook -- Jersey Evening Post
1083. Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -- The New
York Times, November 22
1084. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
1085. Suspected Alien Boat Dodges Customs -- Brisbane Courier Mail.
1086. Suspected Bank Robber Leaves a Clue: Driver's License -- Houston
Chronicle headline
1087. Suspended MP Accused Of Telling A Hundred Lies -- The Guardian
1088. Swallowed Diamond Ring Shows Up as Evidence -- Reuters headline
1089. Swamp Thing Bedevils Police Station -- The Record (Hackensack New
Jersey)
1090. Swazi King, 2 Sons Poison Suspects
1091. Swedish Dentist Seizes Teeth in Payment Dispute
1092. Swedish Jet Hijacked By Bread Roll
1093. Swiss Hale Heroin Giveaway A Success -- Associated Press
1094. System Fails To Catch Hermaphrodite Cattle -- Irish Times
1095. TABLETS Viagra blamed for 69 deaths -- Ceefax News Page
1096. Tarmac Close To Merger With Aggregate -- Sunday Times
1097. Tarzan's Loincloth Hid A Big Swinger -- Sunday Times (South Africa).
1098. Tax Break For Hedgehogs -- Nottingham Evening Post.
1099. Tax Mooted For Flatulent Cows -- Brisbane (Aust) Sunday Mail.
1100. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
1101. Teen Girls Driving More Like Boys -- AP headline
1102. Teen-Age Girls Often Have Babies Fathered By Men -- The Sunday
Oregonian, September 24
1103. Tenant Failed To Give Notice Before Dying
1104. Tennessee Williams Brought To Life In A Unique Setting
1105. Tequila Helps Actress Take Her Clothes Off -- Reuters headline
1106. Termites Lay Siege To New Orleans -- Sunday Times (South Africa)
1107. Testicles On Sale -- The Nambian
1108. Texans Chip in to Rescue Stranded Chicken-Hypnotist -- Reuters headline
1109. Textron Inc. Makes Offer To Screw Company Stockholders - The Miami
Herald
1110. Thanks To President Clinton, Staff Sgt. Fruer Now Has A Son - The
Arkansas Plainsman
1111. The Correct Version Declares God Ambidextrous
1112. The Mad Hatter Saves Alice From Knifeman
1113. "The Pill" Might Prevent Acne Too -- AP headline
1114. The Queen Is A "Parrot" Says Paisley -- Daily Telegraph
1115. The Unknown Clouds Search for School Superintendent -- Louisville,
Kentucky
1116. There Can Be No Excuse For Drinking While Under The Influence Of
Alcohol -- Hull Daily Mail
1117. There May Be Diamonds in Planets -- AP headline
1118. They Came They Saw... Swindon --Western Daily Press
1119. Thief Nabbed Returning for Ass -- UPI headline
1120. Thieves Steal 8 Tons of Spa Mud -- AP headline
1121. Thomas the Tank Engine Discovered Driving Taxi -- Reuters headline
1122. Thousands See Green Man -- North Devon Journal.
1123. Three in hospital after fresh Legionnaires' outbreak -- Ananova
1124. Three Wise Men Refused Visas By Saudi Arabia
1125. Thugs Eat Then Rob Proprietor
1126. Tigers Shoot Down Gunship -- Irish Tmes
1127. Time Machine Found In Brain
1128. Titanic Shipyard May Sack Workers -- AP headline
1129. Toad Stuck In Share Hole Despite High-Profile Signing -- Daily
Telegraph
1130. Toads Stop Play In Top Cricket Pub
1131. Tomatoes Come In Big, Little, Medium Sizes -- The Daily Progress,
Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
1132. Tomorrow: Political Guru Ed Rollins At 9 AM
1133. Tony Blair Promises Parents The Right To Smack --Independent
1134. Too Much Homework is Bad for You, UK Academics Say -- Reuters headline
1135. Top Evangelist Caught Red-Handed With Nanny-Goat – People & Places
(Ghana)
1136. Top Surgeon Is To Head New Body In Medical Ethics -- Evening Standard
1137. Top Terror Fugitive Hid from Police on Nudist Beach -- AP headline
1138. Tortoises Held Hostage As Lobster War Turns Nasty -- Independent
1139. Town To Drop School Bus, When Overpass Is Ready
1140. Towns Must Spend Big To Fight Alien Plans -- Boston Globe
1141. Toxic Waste Tour Planned
1142. Traffic Dead Rise Slowly
1143. Traffic Stop May Check Alien Status -- Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
1144. Tragedy Of Mother Eaten By Maggots -- Mirror.
1145. Train Driver Temporarily Blinded by Exploding Pigeon -- PA headline
1146. Transsexuals Benefits Cut Off -- Highbury & Islington Express.
1147. Trapeze Artist Attacks Rival with Castration Tongs -- Reuters
1148. Trapped Dragons Are Blamed For Problems At New Hong Kong Airport --
Weekly Telegraph
1149. Trojan Is New EU Secretary-General -- Irish Times
1150. Trout Being Tempted By Extra-Terrestrials - Dudley Chronicle
1151. Tuna Biting Off Washington Coast
1152. Turkey Blamed For Appaling Driving
1153. Turkey Votes for Christmas -- Financial Times
1154. Tv Reporters Feel Pressure On Cha-Cha -- Philippine Dally Inquirer.
1155. TV Sets To Book Hols
1156. Twinkles Shortage Looms -- New York Dally News.
1157. Two Cars Were Reported Stolen By The Groveton Police Yesterday.
1158. Two Convicts Evade Noose Jury Hung
1159. Two One-Legged Inmates Skip Jail -- Reuters headline
1160. Two Sisters Reunited After Eighteen Years At Checkout Counter
1161. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
1162. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
1163. U R Out: Man Fired by SMS -- Sydney (Australia) Morning Herald headline
1164. U.S. Army To Use 'Green' Tungsten Bullets -- Reuters headline
1165. U.S. Audit Finds Funds For Youth Misspent
1166. U.S. Diplomat Expelled from Cuban Dog Club, Dog Stays -- AFP headline
1167. U.S. Distances Itself From Haiti -- AP headline
1168. U.S. Food Service, Feeds Thousands, Grosses Millions
1169. U.S. Govt Heads For Shutdown, Blame Flies
1170. U.S. Workers Getting Pink Slips for Christmas
1171. USDA To Shift Testing Of Ready-To-Eat Meat Plants -- Cnn News
1172. Uganda Facing Condom Shortage -- AP headline
Ugandans Enjoying the Good Life -- AP headline apparently unrelated
to the above which appeared the same day.
1173. UK Charter Aims To Improve Rights For The Dead -- British Medical
Journal
1174. UN Backs Dog Jailed For Killing Bishop -- Sunday Telegraph
1175. Unconscious Can 'Think' But Not About Popcorn
1176. Uncut Workers Better Survivors -- The Australian.
1177. Under Pressure at Work? Get a Life-- Reuters headline
1178. Undergrads Flunk Sperm Bank Tests -- Straits Times Singapore)
1179. Underwater Church Rescue
1180. Unexpected Trees Jump The Gun On Playing Place Roundabouts -- West
Briton (Cornwall).
1181. Unicorn Safe Thanks To Cash
1182. Unusual Millennium Parties Planned -- AP headline
1183. Urgent Plea For "Flying Lollipop" Patrols -- Cornish Guardian
1184. Use Of Heroin Shooting Up -- Huntingdon Town Crier
1185. Van In Pork Pie Ambush -- Newcastle Journal
1186. Vegetables Start Talking To Professor
1187. Viagra to Raise Sri Lanka Troop Morale -- AFP headline
1188. Victim Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies
1189. Victim's Family Didn't Need Another Death -- Rocky Mountain News
1190. Vietnam Elects Dead Man To Politburo
1191. Virgins Are Discovered In Essex
1192. Voting Down but Political Humor Up -- AP headline
1193. VW Beetle Starts up After Being Buried for 10 Years -- PA headline
1194. W.I To Remove Jam From Toilets
1195. Wachtler Tells Graduates That Life In Jail Is Demeaning -- The
Buffalo News, February 26
1196. Wang Ousts 'Nutcracker' for Next Year -- Boston Globe headline
1197. Wanted: Suitable Position for Disoriented Indian Maharaja
1198. War Dims Hope For Peace
1199. Watchdog Gets A New Head -- Luton Times.
1200. Water Missing In The Middle Of The Sea -- Guardian
1201. Waves Of Chaos Wash Over Road -- Walthamstow (London) Guardian
1202. We All Hope And Pray For Peach In Northen Ireland
1203. We Think Rain Caused The Floods, Says Thames Water -- Newbury &
Thatcham Chronicle
1204. We Will Sell Gasoline To Anyone In A Glass Container.
1205. Website For Penguins -- Western Dally Press.
1206. Week Ends Month of China Relations -- AP headline
1207. Weekly Sex May Prevent Colds and Flu --study -- Reuters headline
1208. Weird and Wacky Reigned Supreme in 2003 -- Reuters headline
1209. "Weirdos" Will Visit Cornwall -- West Briton
1210. Welfare Exorcises 70,000 Ghosts -- Johannesburg Star.
1211. Westinghouse Will Buy Infinity For $3.9 Billion
1212. We've Rescued A Deer (We Found It In A Tree)
1213. Whale Flatulence Stuns Scientists -- Sydney (Australia) Telegraph
headline
1214. Whatever Their Motives, Moms Who Kill Kids Still Shock Us -- Holland
Sentinal, date unknown
1215. When Doctors Smoked and Hair Was Lacquered -- New York Times headline
1216. When Ebola and HIV Are Your Friends -- AFP headline
1217. When Elephants Ruled... Hackney -- Times
1218. White Flower Two Day Sale-(Friday Only)
1219. Whoopee? Oopsie! Honk If the Dealership Used Your Car for Sex -- St.
Petersburg (Fla.) Times headline
1220. Why Americans Love to Hate Government -- Reuters headline
1221. Why Tarts Are Big In Telford -- Irish Times.
1222. Wife Drowns In Kitchen While Looking For Food
1223. Wife Forgives Killer Elephant -- Melbourne Herald-Sun
1224. Wife Regrets Staying With Man She Killed
1225. Wife Stabs Husband After He Brings Her Bouquets -- Reuters headline
1226. Wild Wife League Will Meet Tonight
1227. Wildcat's Garbage Puzzles County Board --Berlin Reporter
1228. William Kelly, 87, Was Fed Secretary
1229. Windows 95 Were For Houses, Thief Belived -- Irish Times
1230. Winner Dies in Russian 'Vodka Marathon,' Five Runners-up
Hospitalised -- AFP headline
1231. Wolves In Complex Bid For Brewer -- Guardian.
1232. Woman Accused Of Giving Bears Ice Cream -- Las Vegas Review-Journal
1233. Woman Beats Off Rapist -- Daily Mail
1234. Woman Fights Giant Radish -- Johannesburg Citizen.
1235. Woman Fined for Not Giving 30-day Notice Before Dying -- Fitchburg
(Mass.) Sentinel and Enterprise headline
1236. Woman Flushes Toilet, Then Catches Fire -- Rocky Mountain News
1237. Woman From Mars Says Nothing -- Leyton (London) Guardian
1238. Woman Gives Birth to Tortoise (Metro, UK)
1239. Woman Hit Twice By Same Car in 24 Hours -- Reuters headline
1240. Woman Is Pregnant Thanks To Her Sister
1241. Woman Rents House But Complains About Corpse
1242. Woman Scolded For Killing Husband
1243. Woman Swims 12 Miles After Sinking -- Irish Times
1244. Woman Tries to Give Away Dad on Internet -- AP headline
1245. Woman Uses Breasts as Bird's Nest -- Reuters headline
1246. Woman Was Left A "Monster" -- Irish Times
1247. Woman with Two Wombs Gives Birth to Twins -- Reuters headline
1248. Woman's Body Found In Cemetery -- Lancashire Evening Post
1249. Women Bowlers Vote To Keep Their Skirts On -- Sunday Telegraph.
1250. Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based
1251. Work Starts On New Zebra -- Bridlington Free Press.
1252. Workers Down Tools at Viagra Factory Over Hard Helmets -- GMB union
circular regarding a health and safety dispute
1253. World Rubber Body Unlikely to Make Major Changes
1254. Worry On Educaion -- Express & Star
1255. Would She Climb To The Top Of Mr. Everest Again? Absolutely! -- The
Houston Chronicle
1256. Wrecks Blamed On Carelessness -- AP Headline
1257. X Marks the Spot as Dog Finds Buried Owner -- Reuters headline
1258. X-ray Confirms Snake Swallowed Dog -- AP headline
1259. Y2K Crisis Center: What To Do? -- AP headline
1260. Yellow Snow Tested For Nutrition
1261. Yeltsin Promises To Stay In Space -- Irish Times
1262. Yes, I'd Like To Be Castrated, Please -- Kansas City Star
1263. Yeti Teaching Students Valuable Lessons
1264. You Can't Buy Love, but Euro Brings Cheaper Sex -- Reuters headline
1265. You Can't Help Being a Grumpy Old Sourpuss, It's How Your Brain Is
-- London Observer headline
1266. You Want To Be Buried on the Moon? -- AP headline
1267. Young Encouraged to Worship Bodies, Not Brains - Head -- PA headline
1268. Youngsters Catapulted Back Into The Roman Era -- Newcastle Journal
1269. Youth Found In Call Box With Fork -- South Devon Herald Express
1270. Your Chance to Spend More Time in Public Toilets -- Reuters headline
1271. Yo-Yo Thefts Rising in Singapore
1272. Zookeepers Suspended for Eating Animals -- Reuters headline
1273. Zoo Rescues Tom Thumb -- Metro (London)
Many thanks to Richard Edkins, Jon Hall, B G Dorgan and Hawkmoon for
submitting quite a few headlines, Andy from Seagate for the trash
compacter story, Colin Matthews, Mike Wilson, Jennifer Woodmansee, Newt,
Dave Monk, David Cook, Lynda Featherstone, John McBride for informing me
of my Googlewhack "Malaysian Gyrator" [ GoogleWhack ], Anna Tickle
Special thanks to [ Randy Cassingham ]
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