nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration

[telebob x]

> >From telebob("hereinafter called the wishor") to you
>("hereinafter called
>the wishee"):
>
>Please accept without obligation, implied or
>implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally
>conscious, socially responsible, politically correct,
>low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice 
>  holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
>persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of
>your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
>persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their
>choice not to practice religious or secular
>traditions at all, or in combination with such
>traditions as shall be determined at your sole and
>absolute discretion; and a financially successful,
>personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated
>recognition of the onset of the generally-accepted calendar year 2002, but 
>with  due respect for the
>calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the 
>race, creed, color, age, sexual
>orientation and preferences, sexual identification
>and/or gender, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer 
>platform, or dietary preference of the wishee.

>By accepting this greeting
>you are bound by these terms that --

>* This greeting is subject to further clarification
>or withdrawal;
>
>* This greeting is freely transferable provided that
>no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the 
>proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged;
>
>* This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to
>actually implement any of the wishes;
>
>* This greeting may not be enforceable in certain
>jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon 
>certain
>wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of 
>the wishor;
>
>* This greeting is warranted to perform as
>reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, 
>for a period of one year or until the issuance of a   subsequent holiday 
>greeting, whichever comes first;
>
>* The wishor warrants this greeting only for the
>limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole AND 
>ABSOLUTE discretion of the wishor; and,
>
>* Any references in this greeting to any religious
>or folk figure or figures, either in whole or in part, or any other festive
>figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any
>endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all 
>proprietary rights
>in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.
>
>* Any and all disputes arising hereunder or
>assignable hereto, whether between the Wishor/Wishee, Wishee/Wishor, or
>involving any unnamed 3rd party beneficiaries hereto or hereunder either 
>express or implied, insofar as such shall be ascertainable at the time or 
>times
>acscribable under this Wish, shall be irrevocably subject to binding 
>arbitration
>without recourse, said arbitration to take place at the North Pole, and
>said arbitrator to be Mr. Santa Claus, Esq.  All such proceedings shall be 
>at the sole cost and expenditure of the party assigning such dispute to 
>Arbitration, except that upon final disposition, all costs, liability, 
>claims, judgments, and actions so determined shall be borne by the party
>thereto assigned, subject only to the rules and procedures of superceding
>jurisdictions and common  and uncommon law.
>
>No warranties either express or implied shall attach
>to this Wish by virtue of its promulgation by the hereunder
>subscribed witness, which acts solely as an independent agent, neither 
>bailor nor bailee, master nor servant.
>
>MERRY MERRY HOLIDAYS TO ALL AND MAY YOU ALL BE FOUND
>FREE OF PROXIMATELY CAUSITIVE HARM, JUDGMENTS, LIABILITIES, DAMAGES, AND
>ACTIONS OF ANY SORT OR DEGREE  OF WHATSOEVER NATURE  AND WHERESOEVER 
>SITUATE IN THE HEREINBEFORE REFERRED TO AND HENCEFORTH TO BE REALIZED  
>"YEAR 2002."
>
>Robert N. Simmons
>Plagiarist Emeritus
>DDPQ&P  Austin, Texas
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
thanx to (whoever you are)
Gene William E. Gandy, JD, LP
EMS Professions Program
Tyler Junior College
Tyler, TX

and, of course Norman Davis




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