[Wonderful Labs] THE WEIRDNESS WITH WONDERS

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear Wonderful,

	Have you ever noticed that people with thick Scottish burrs sound like
Klingons?  Wouldn't this explain why Scotty hit the Klingon first at
Space Station K-9 (he didn't want the drunk Klingon blowing his cover)?

Signed,
J.T. Kirk
________________
Dear Welshie,

	Just when we had women coming back to read the column...  *Le sigh*.

	Anyway, yes.  You know, when Sean Connery poked his head into the
shower room the other day and asked if anyone needed a hot loofah, I
could have sworn that a Bird of Prey had just penetrated my Neutral
Zone.  It was like that time Ewan McGregor offered me a long drink of
water at the Highland Festivals and I blasted him into chipped beef with
my phaser.

	It's true that the Klingons don't take any more shit than the Scots. 
Both races are violent, honorable, and adorned with faux-butch fashions.
 This commonality should be investigated, particularly by Senator John
McCain and Representative Ka'plach Kodos.
	
	Mister Scott of the U.S.S. Enterprise, however, was never a Klingon,
nor Scottish.  What he was, was *hammered*.  Have ye not noticed how
whiskey's true lovers tend to affect a bit of an accent to cover up
their slurring?  That man on board yon space ship has soaked up more
"green" than the Charles River on St. Patty's Day.  He doesn't sound
like a Klingon, he sounds like Robert Downey, Jr. in front of a judge.

	Or me in front of Miss Yakamoto, the night before a big grant proposal.


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http://www.geocities.com/~mikemckiernan/mcfrontpage.html
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-- 
Mars Attacks

	"Sam won't tell this phony story, so I will.  
	Sam had to shoot that logo, is that not true, Sam?"

	"That's correct; that's not true."

	- Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi,
	opening commentary on "Evil Dead II"


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