[Wonderful Labs] CRYING OVER WONDER

[Wonderful Labs]

Senor Maravillosa, 

	I've got another question for you.  Why do people cry when they are
sad?  That is, why does mildly salty water come gushing out of our eye
sockets when we are troubled and down?  Does this happen to other
primates, or any other animals, when they are feeling blue?

Gracias para tu tiempo,
La Llorona
______________
Dear Wee Pee Herman,

	You know what's sad?  Mister Monkey had Dweezil Zappa over for
cocktails the other night and, of course, the conversation turned to the
Black Dahlia murders - specifically, could Yul Brenner have solved the
case if he'd worn a deerstalker cap?  Which is fine, except it turned
into a knife fight in the west ballroom, and now *I* have to appear in
court on the 24th, which means missing http://www.luchavavoom.com/

	I would say that tears act as lubricant in anticipation of a vicious
skull-fucking, but I realize that not everyone has cause to fear Mister
Monkey's attorney.  Mister Dark assures me that any crying I do is
because I'm a baby.

	Crocodiles are said to shed tears untrustworthy.  Does that mean I get
to clutch at Miss Yakamoto when Los Luchadores take the stage next
month?  Of course not.  The Animal Kingdom is full of *bastards*. 
That's my point.

	Tears are a leaky reminder of Darwin's Loophole: "That which doesn't
kill you, survives."  It could have been worse.  Depression could have
caused erections.  And that would certainly be uncomfortable for the ladies.

	As it is, salty excrescence comes to comfort us in times of trouble,
reminding us that Mother Ocean is ultimate provider, our soul source,
our essence.  We are all one, we come from the same place.

	Except for Lou Reed. I don't know *what* planet that sweaty fuck is from.


***************
WONDERFUL LABS - These Laps Were Made For Sittin'
***************

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-- 
Mars Attacks

	"It was Toto that made Dorothy laugh, and saved
	her from growing as gray as her other surroundings." 

	- L. Frank Baum,
	"The Wizard of Oz" (1900)


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