[Wonderful Labs] HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WONDER?

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear Mister Wonderful,

	I spotted this in the local Walgreens whilst pharmaceutically enhancing
my life.

	http://www.storetrade.com/msWonderfulTalkingDoll.php

	False advertising? Or does Mr. Wonderful actually have a sister, aunt,
or mother who's on the market these days?

	Gaaah! After spotting that in the drugstore, I've also found:

	http://www.storetrade.com/mrWonderfulTalkingDoll.php
	http://www.storetrade.com/mrWonderfulTalkingDollVDay.php

	Where's the lab coat? Where's the witty repartee? Where the goddamned
WONDERFUL in these pieces of marketing sewage?

_______________
Dear Savage Henry,

	Lucky you.  When *I* want to enhance my life pharmaceutically I have to
head over to the bad side of town and deal with some snotty
twelve-year-old who never has change for a twenty.

	In any case, did not Lao Tzu write: "The Mister Wonderful Doll that can
be purchased is not the eternal Mister Wonderful Doll.  The phrase that
can be spoken is not the witty phrase"?  Remember?  In the "Tao Te
Chimp"?  

	Oh, of course he didn't write that.  But my lawyers are busy sipping
Pina Coladas and taking walks in the rain, so I have to come up with something.


	The only "Ms. Wonderful" I know is my cousin, who escaped the
destruction of the planet Wonder by sucking up to Peter O'Toole, and
*she* tends to say stuff like, "I need to fire my agent," or "We're
almost brother and sister!"

	To which I reply, "Only genetically!"


***************
WONDERFUL LABS - Big Thoughts Require Big Trousers
***************

Mister Wonderful Recommends:  Loving the Weasel.

http://www.scifi.com/exposure/frameup/meandthebigguy.html
http://www.johnkerryisadouchebagbutimvotingforhimanyway.com/

-- 
Mars Attacks

	"Gubble me more, she said.  Gubble gubble gubble me,
	put your gubbish into me, into my gubbish, you Gubbler.
	Gubble, gubble, I like gubble! Don't stop. Gubble,
	gubble gubble gubble, *gubble*!" 

	- Philip K. Dick,
	"Martian Time-Slip"

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