[Wonderful Labs] THE SWEAT OF YOUR WONDER

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear Mr. Wonderful,

	I dated a half-Asian guy once and he said he never needed to use
deodorant and he was right! He never smelled of body odor!  

	And there's this other guy I know on the internet who taped my David
Letterman with Jack Hanna when Viacom was being a bitch- and he's kind
of my sugar daddy 'cause he once sent me a 100 dollar Macy's card so I
could get a vibrator but I just bought Chanel and Shiseido makeup- but
anyway- he does not need deodorant either, and he's half Chinese.

	He says women actually like to get very close to him and love his
natural scent.  The guy I dated is half-Korean.

	How come these half Asian guys don't have B. O.?  Do fully Asian guys
have B. O.?

Thank you for your time.
Love,
Patricia Uddermouth
____________________
Dear Secret Tiger, Old Spice Dragon,

	See, now, this is going to be one of your less rigorously scientific
answers from me, here.  Because, you see, although I have my own shiny,
throbbing laboratory, as well as an insatiable curiosity about the
cosmos, two friends who are trying to kill me over coffee rights, one of
those sparky electric things that whirs, a Scots assistant with a
Japanese name in a Catholic mini-skirt, a malfunctioning time machine, a
particle accelerator that can open bottles, a new PDA, and my own
monkey, I do *not* go around making Asian men sweat.

	Not in order to sniff them, anyway.

	I should think the answer has largely to do with diet.  Have you ever
stood next to an Italian guy in a crowded elevator?  It's like monsoon
season over Hell's own garlic fields.  Your boys probably smell like
water and soy sauce, sort of like an ocean breeze.

	The soluble stuff we eat tends to come out through the pores.  Sure. 
Just ask Libertarian Stan Jones.
(http://abcnews.go.com/sections/us/DailyNews/bluecandidate_021003.html) 
The man should hire himself out as a walking advertisement for zombie
films.  He probably smells like a lightning rod dipped in bacon grease.

	Anyway.  Point is.  Mister Wonderful's odor is that of the miraculous
rain of fish over Dublin in 1904.


*****************
WONDERFUL LABS - Keeping You Limber For The Apocalypse Tango
*****************

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-- 
Honey Why

LUCAS: They didn't okay it yet?
BRIAN: They'll okay it as soon as they read it.
LUCAS: They didn't read it yet?
BRIAN: They'll read it when I write it.
MILT: *You didn't write it yet?*
BRIAN: (points to his head with index finger) Here!  It's all up
	here!  Every page, every word, every comma.

	- Neil Simon,
	"Laughter on the 23rd Floor"


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