[Wonderful Labs] THE MERRY WIVES OF WONDER

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear M.W.,

	Life stinks.  I'm paying a princely sum to gather my dearest friends
together for my birthday and all of a sudden, I have no control over the
guest list.  A dear friend's wife has "invited" herself to the party. 
This is bullshit.  What should I do?

Signed,
Pissed Off In Peoria
____________________
Dear Banquo,

	Well, you know what Miss Manners always says: "GET OFF MY LAWN!  I'M
CALLING THE COPS!  WHAT IS THAT MONKEY DOING WITH THE HOVERCRAFT?"

	Typical.  Of course, that woman's uptight because she can't get Dan
Savage to cross her i's or dot her t's.  I tell her she's barking up the
wrong column, but she just turns the hose on me.

	Listen, don't fret about the uninvited wife.  If you're throwing money
around like you say, and you *really* didn't want her to come, you would
have already hired a guy to break her leg, easy.

	Mister Wonderful suggests having fun with the situation.  A little
mescaline in the ice cream, some sodium pentathol in the frosting, a
canister of nitrous oxide in the piņata and you have got a birthday
party that will make "Taxicab Confessions" look like "What's My Line?" 
You'll want to bring plenty of videotape.  As well as any divorce
lawyers you might know.



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WONDERFUL LABS - We Put The Fizz In Physics
********************

On The Fourth Day of Wonder, My True Love Recommends:  Shiny Techno Gadgets.

http://www.powershot.com/powershot2/a80/index.html
http://www.ahleman.com/ElectriClerk.html
http://buyersguide.macrumors.com/
http://www.sacred-texts.com/oto/lib4.htm

-- 
Honey Why

	"Il est l'heure de s'enivrer!  Pour n'etre pas les esclaves
	martyrises du Temps, enivrez-vous sans cesse!  De vin, de
	poesie ou de vertu, a votre guise." 

	- Charles Baudelaire,
	"Enivrez-Vous"
	_Le Spleen De Paris_


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