[Wonderful Labs] YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE WONDER

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear Mister Wonderful,

	How does one prove, a-priori, that one is not a liar, when so accused?

Signed,
Harcourt Fenton Mudd, III
_________________
Dear Fire Pants,

	Wait, wait... I know this one...  you ask the guy in front of the tiger
which path the other guy would choose, right?  And then you make sure to
go the opposite way.  Or is it the other way 'round?  Hold on.  No. 
First you go down the path, then you ask the cannibal what he would
answer, if the other guy were him, and if he says, "This door," then you
know he's telling the truth.  And therefore cannot be trusted.

	My absolute favorite thing about logic problems is that Lewis Carroll
once designed one about pork chops.  That's an actual true fact, which I
expect exactly no one will believe... not after all these years of
moon-induced conspiracy tales and extra-dimensional elf explanations.  O well.

	And that brings us back to your query in a rather meta way that I
hadn't intended, but there it is.  How *does* old Mister Wonderful
convince the public of his essentially truthful nature?  

	First off, I must tell you that science now indicates men who lie lose
a quarter-inch off their erect penis length, every single year. 
Something to do with stress, I think.  Now take a look at these police
file photos and you tell me:  Am I telling the truth, or was I the
source of the Loch Ness Monster legend, back in the day?

	I think the answer is obvious.  These are really photos from an
accident scene, where semi truck carrying Slinkies collided with an
Animal Rescue van full of pythons.  But I think I've made my point.

	By the by, women who lie just get skinnier.  It's not fair, but that's
the world we have.  



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WONDERFUL LABS - Our Phasers Are Set To "Love"
*****************

Mister Wonderful Recommends:  "Reno 911!" the parody show you thought
arrived ten years too late to be anything relevant or humorous, but
instead proves that folks what have talent can make *anything* work. 
Also, y'know, props for introducing the phrase "law enforcement cheetah"
into the English language.

http://shop.comedycentral.com/product/index.jsp?productId=1818302
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0502073/
http://www.ugo.com/channels/filmtv/features/reno911/


-- 
Mars Attacks

	"Ambrose isn't a frightfully hot writer.  I don't
	suppose he makes enough out a novel to keep a midget 
	in doughnuts for a week.  Not a really healthy midget." 

	- P.G. Wodehouse,
	quoted in "Plum Sauce: A P.G. Wodehouse Companion"


Speakeasies of Love
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