[Wonderful Labs] The Ruthless Best of Wonderful

[Wonderful Laboratories]

*********** If six were nine, then she'd be riding 13 horses when she
comes, I guess...  Mister Wonderful here, and higher mathematics aside,
we are busy little pups over at Wonderful Labs and anticipate this state
of events occurring in synergistic interactive stasis for a period of
somewhat around three weeks to continue for said time.  Pardon me, my
fingers seemed to have developed thesaurs (those nasty hurty bumps you
get from using to many words to no good purpose; unfortunately, one
seems to feel better when one continues the activity that caused the
condition - like scratching at a rash).  What I mean to say is, please,
please you, yeah do, enjoy these Wonderwords of Yesteryear...



-------- Original Message --------
Subject: WONDER VIBRATIONS
Date: Thu, 05 Aug 1999 

Dear Mister Wonderful,

	Please recommend a good sex toy.  My "putter" was lost in a tragic hot
air balloon accident.

Signed,
Vic Viagra
_____________________
Dear Jack Nickless,

	First off, you shouldn't be using golf clubs for sex toys anyway.

	And just to make it clear, you shouldn't use baseball bats, lacrosse
sticks, rugby balls, soccer cleats, tennis ball launchers or
super-nitro-burnin' funny cars either.

	The best sex toy Mister Wonderful has ever discovered is... wait a
second, did you want a sex toy you could use on yourself, or one for
your lady friend?  Because if it's for you, y'know, just get a magazine
or something.  You're a guy.  A brick wall with a hole in it could get
you off.

	For the special woman in your bed, we suggest "WONDERWANG".  Direct
from Wonderful Labs, tested in 12 cities across the world, guaranteed
for life, recommended by doctors, kings and popes, the WONDERWANG brand
feminine pleasure product radiates sensitivity, warmth and confidence. 
The "strong enough for a man, but made for a lesbian" WONDERWANG has 4
settings, 3 knobs and a remote control.  It is supportive, nurturing and
understanding.  WONDERWANG can work fast or slow, needs no batteries and
will speak with an Irish accent on demand.  Order one today!


**************************
MAKE SWEET WONDERFUL TO ME
**************************


-- 
Hot Handed God Of Cops


	"If the government doesn't trust the people, why not dissolve
	them and elect a new people?"
			- Bertolt Brecht