[Wonderful Labs] Special Holiday Best of Wonder Sale

[Wonderful Laboratories]

*********** Everything must go boom!  Mister Wonderful is busy pumping
up pumpkinheads, but the show she shall go on!  And when we say "go on,"
we mean "go back."  Please enjoy this historical document and don't
forget to trim your wicks.


-------- Original Message --------
Subject: GO WONDER GO
Date: Mon, 07 Jun 1999 

Dear Wonderful,

	I am currently car hunting. In an attempt to get a REALLY GOOD DEAL, my
friend and I have been trying all sorts of techniques to get the better
of the car salesmen. So far, we've mostly used distraction techniques to
break the salesmen's deviously focused train of thought and confuse them
into a better deal. Sudden song and dance numbers, repeatedly asking for
snacks, offering the salesmen money so they can buy snacks, "finding"
dollar bills stuck in the seats, and accusing the salesmen of bugging
those little wheel and deal rooms after they leave and come back have
been fairly successful. However, we are in need of fresh ideas on how to
gain the upper hand. Please help me.

Sincerely,
Car Woman
__________________
Dear Trixie,


	You might want to try asking intriguing questions, like:

	* "So, how many sacks of blood do you think would fit in this trunk?"
	* "You don't sell to mimes, do you?"
	* "Tell you what...heads I get the lease, tails it's free.  Whaddaya say?"
	* "You ever gotten a weasel pregnant?"
	* "I'm looking for something that won't blow up, no matter how many
bullets they put in the gas tank.  You got anything like that?"
	* "Do you like Kumquats?  I'm a Kumquat farmer."
	* "How fast could this baby get me to Jupiter?"
	* "Hey pal, my father is the Prince of Darkness...  You know? Your _boss_?"
	* "Pssst.... Wanna buy an M?"
	* "Is this the sort of vehicle that could hold a fifteen girl orgy
*and* a film crew?"

	
	But, for my money, when dealing with salesmen, there's really nothing
quite so surprising as a hand grenade.  Boy, the looks on their faces.


*********************
JESUS BUILT MY WONDERFUL
*********************

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