[Wonderful Labs] WONDERFUL COMMENTS RULE O.K.

[Wonderful Labs]

************** One pill makes you larger, one pill reduces your interest
rate... Mister Wonderful here, singing a happy song about leaving it all
behind as we fight the massive flocks of Spam descending on the
Wonderful Laboratories mail servers.  It's like fighting off incontinent
pigeons with a feather duster, so it is, and we welcome this opportunity
to instead respond to responses sent recently from readers who read our
writing and readily realized they were wroth...


************** NEWS ITEM:  Beer-swilling Danes and other connoisseurs of
fine avant-garde television will be shocked, *shocked*, to learn that
American TV is attempting to mount its own version of "The Kingdom"
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0108906/  "Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital"
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0324864/ (and how I wish I were making this
up) will debut in March.  Steve-O will be playing the Lars von Trier/Rod
Serling part, but still.  I mean.  Andrew McCarthy?



************** THE CULT OF WONDER
http://www.pairlist.net/pipermail/wonderfullabs/2004-January/000932.html
delved into that shadowy realm of XXL T-shirts known as the Science
Fiction Convention.  It was generally well received, but our closing
comment about Vogons elicited this response from ONI WHO KNOWS:

>*Shrieking* with laughter! Fucking shrieking!!! Oh, jeebus...

************** The Truth hurts, but it also tickles.  Discuss.

************** We also heard from A MISSUS:

>now THAT was a good column. One of your best 
>lately in my unhumble opinion.

************** Note to self... make secret sauce.  Best columns contain
following vocab: wet, lubricated, Grover, slash, Jedi, cancerous, and baboon.

************** "Guilty!" was the self-imposed judgment of the querent in
OVERCOME BY WONDER.  THE PROFESS found our faux-yiddish response helpful:

>Oh thank you mister wonderful, this is just what a 
>young catholic needs to hear after spending her christmas 
>break keeping the lonely park ranger company.  The Fear 
>and The Guilt were starting to hang around- she *could* 
>lose her job, you know - but who can resist being 
>machete-whipped on the ass? Not any of your faithful readers, 
>I'm sure.  So you see, it was "el duende's" fault.  The pit 
>vipers didn't exactly help either.  Tell Mason that whatever 
>it is that he feels the need to subtly brag about- it was 
>probably worth subtly bragging about.

************** Hey, Indiana Jones had a good grip on his machete in that
second movie; furthermore, I don't feel guilty for admitting that I
liked watching it.

************** LONG AGO IN WONDERLAND
http://www.pairlist.net/pipermail/wonderfullabs/2004-January/000934.html
concerned a topic we knew little about, but that never stopped us
before.  Luckily, BROWN EYES saw the feature film in question:

>I stormed out after I realized that they did not 
>include the scene where the invisible man was raping 
>the young fillies at the all-girl boarding school.  
>Which was when the credits starting rolling, when I was 
>SURE that they weren't going to include the scene where 
>the invisible man was raping the girls at the boarding 
>school (or was it an insane asylum?)  I didn't want to 
>leave early and be like some sap who drank too much beer 
>before going to see "Wild Things" and then took a 
>10 minute pee during the threesome scene between 
>Neve Campbell, Matt Dillon and the danger-girl 
>lookalike girl in the swampy back alley motel.  You understand.

*************** Good thing then that Mister Wonderful has a bladder the
size of an Oxford English Dictionary, isn't it?  Isn't it?  But listen: 
Invisible Porn is just a soundtrack, nest pas?  You could do *that* with
a Victrola.  H.G. Wells missed out on a lucrative venture there,
methinks. 

*************** We recommended the Mythbusters at the conclusion of
FLASHING YOUR WONDER
http://www.pairlist.net/pipermail/wonderfullabs/2004-January/000935.html
because they use large amounts of force to do silly things
scientifically in San Francisco.  COIT POWER responds:

>Why should things be blown up here? why not there? or in africa?

**************** Because, really, there's no other place the bearded guy
http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/mythbusters/meet/hyneman.html could
get away with wearing that beret *and* handling gunpowder.  


**************** And now, having caught up with all the comments fit to
print, we drag our bodies back to the dead center of our tomb to sleep
for another thousand years, until human voices wake us, and we drown. 
Hey, that's like five pop culture references in one sentence!  Everybody
dance now!  This is Mister Wonderful signing off and saying: We'll see
you in a little while with more of our wiles.  You can't beat our meat!


**********************
WONDERFUL LABS - In The Year Of The Monkey, Obey The Law Of The Ape
**********************


-- 
Honey Why

	"Well, we can't all be straightforwardly antisocial,
	hypocritical, medievalist Marxists hell-bent on
	debauchery, Jasper.  Some of us have contradictions
	to cope with."

		-Edward Docx, 
		"The Calligrapher"


Speakeasies of Love
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http://www.wonderfullabs.com/tempe.html
http://www.livejournal.com/~ideaspace
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