[Wonderful Labs] THE BLACK WONDER

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear Mr. Wonderful,

	With Valentine's coming upon us (gee, that could be respelled for a
very nasty phrase) I was wondering if you have any new merchandise on
the market for lovers?

	This thought led me to thinking about other holidays and marketing...
and, well... my brain did its magic and I came up with this horrific but
beautiful scenario:

	"Mommy, mommy I know what I want for <insert gift giving day here>!  A
Captain Jack doll! It's so neat and has lots of cool stuff! It comes
with a necklace that dooms you to a life in hell, a knife to cut your
hand with, some gold caps for my teeth and a WHOLE bottle of rum!"  

	If you get on the bandwagon now, I think you could have a Mr. Wonderful 
version ready just in time for next Christmas.

always,
me
_____________________
Dear Why... you!,

	If you like the Johnny Depp "Captain Jack" doll, you should *love* the
"Hunter S. Thompson."  It comes with the standard salt shaker of
cocaine, sheets of blotter acid, "a whole galaxy of multi-colored
uppers, downers, screamers, laughers..." and the raw ether.  AND, for
the ladies, his cute bald head vibrates... with literary notions.


	Mister Wonderful gave Valentine's Day a miss this year.  Why compete,
we thought, with the amazing psychic rainbow displays of love and
foreverness exploding in the aether above San Francisco?  Why draw
attention to ourselves when there's a chance, a slight chance, that
civil disobedience based on joy and positive mergers might convince a
few uptight lawmakers to stop protecting their asses with their heads?

	Plus we were busy teaching Mister Monkey how to ride a motor scooter
while drunk and wearing a tiara.  The plan is to either create a
best-selling calendar for 2005, or have him be the getaway princess when
we knock over Disneyland.  It all depends on how much tequila we can
find in Anaheim.


*****************
WONDERFUL LABS - Purifying Wisdom Through Reverse Osmosis
*****************

Mister Wonderful Recommends:  Swinging!  Leaping!  Climbing over ledges!
 Undead women in bikinis!  It's all here in ancient Iran.  A video game
that assuages your guilt over wasting so much time playing it by
incorporating time-reversal into the plot.  "So what if it's 2 AM," you
say.  "I'll just use the dagger to turn back time and get plenty of sleep!"

http://www.princeofpersiagame.com/index.php
http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/ps2/game/36070.html


-- 
Honey Why

	"An as-yet-undecided portion of all profits from
	the sale of this book may or may not be donated 
	to some charitable cause to be designated at some 
	later date." 

	-Tim Powers,
	"The William Ashbless Memorial Cookbook"


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