[Wonderful Labs] INK ON MY WONDER

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear Mr. Wonderful,

	I'm being wooed by a poet. Not sure what to do about it, but I think I
should begin by giving him the "how easily does he scare off" test.
However, poets seem to be amazingly resilient. How does one scare a poet?

	Please advise.

Thank you ever so much!
The Purple Cow
________________
Dear Beatrice,

	Poets fear "losing their Muse," i.e. giving up the bad moods and
alcohol.  Perhaps you could insist on making him watch the French film
"Amelie," which is so damned uplifting it'd make Genghis Khan tickle a
puppy with dandelions.  AIIIEEE!

	Another way to scare a poet is to threaten him with a real job.  "You
know what, Lumpikins," you say while frisking about in pre-coital bliss,
sliding your fingers daintily about his chest like a troupe of ice
skaters performing over a hair swamp.  "I would feel more secure, more
willing to give myself to you *completely*, if you had a steady
income... and I heard that there's an opening for assistant manager down
at the local bank."

	His screams will echo a mile away.

	Then again, T.S. Eliot was able to overcome being a bank clerk despite
the fact that contemporary medical science gave him no chance of
recovery.  Then again, T.S. Eliot wrote some fucked-up rhymey shit full
of despair.

	You know what you should do, though, to *really* test him?  To *really*
scare him?  Write some poetry that's better than his.

	If he's a decent fellow, he'll be inspired and love you all the more; 
he'll push himself to the next level and try to prove himself worthy. 
If not, well, that's one less petty bitch you'll have to deal with.


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 I only met him twice, and he intimidated the heck out of me, but Mister
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http://www.newsfromme.com/archives/2004_02_08.html
http://www.fourhman.com/ambushbug/1992.htm

-- 
Honey Why

	"There were lots of things that's actually stuff the 
	Maharishi had said - like that song "C'mon, c'mon'," y'know, 
	"C'mon, it's such a joy," whatever that song - "Everybody 
	got something to hide except for me and my monkey." 
	Well it was, apart from the bit about the monkey,
	that was just what Maharishi used to always say." 

	-George Harrison,
	"The Beatles Anthology"


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