[Wonderful Labs] The Cleanest Best of Wonderful

[Wonderful Laboratories]

*********** The trouble with my dismount is that I so often prefer to
remain *mounted*...  Mister Wonderful here, and you know the drill - but
have you met Mr. Hammer?  He and Mr. Anvil have been chatting with me
about my work habits of late.  Well, while the old skull recovers,
please enjoy this ancient missive from a mystic cupboard...



-------- Original Message --------
Subject: WONDER BREAKS DOWN
Date: Fri, 27 Aug 1999


Dear Mister Wonderful,

	My high school biology teacher once told us to keep a look out for
words that have the root "-lysis" in them, "lysis" meaning to break into
pieces. Thus hydrolysis, the digestive process where water breaks things
down; even analysis could be seen as a manner of breaking ideas down.

	Keeping this maxim in mind, does that mean that Lysol can split the Sun
into little pieces?

Yours,
Eddy Mology.
___________________
Dear Dick Shennary,

	Drink enough of it and *everything* goes to pieces.

	But seriously, kids, don't do drugs.  None.  No caffeine, no aspirin,
no Prozac, no anesthesia.  Nothing that affects your mind or body in any
way.  Vitamins are out.  So is salt.  Proteins, carbohydrates, nix, nix!

	Growth is dangerous. So is change.  Why do you think it's the "Food and
Drug" Administration?  Different words for the same thing!  Sadly, 100%
of American children are addicted to food at birth, a condition passed
on from their mothers, who ate while they were pregnant.  Food may give
a temporary illusion of well-being, but the crash is cruel and swift. 
Don't get any strength, kids!  Don't explore your possibilities! 
Stagnate!  Atrophy!

	What was your query about?  Oh yeah, words.  Funny thing is,
hydro-lysis (water-loosening) and electro-lysis (um, electro-loosening)
mean to use water and electricity to break other things.  So "Lys-ol" is
- hey, wow... actually a clever advertising gimmick implying "loosens all."

	I was going to go in a totally different direction, but this is
interesting.  Apparently, the ancient marketers who named Lysol thought
the public would be clever enough to get the Greek root and the English
homophone.  What suckers.  It also means that my little joke above is
etymologically sound: Lys-All = Everything goes to pieces.  I'm so cool.

	I, uh, need to take a nap.


***********************
THE RIGHT TO BARE WONDERFULS
***********************

-- 
The Triple Aries

*************http://www.livejournal.com/users/ideaspace/ *************

	"I don't *believe* anything."
	- John Gribbin, 
	"In Search Of Schroedinger's Cat"