[Wonderful Labs] The $10 Bill Best of Wonderful

[Wonderful Laboratories]

************ I wonder where the time goes, and then remember we ordered
those Time Weasels from the Gallifreyan Merchant Council last week...
Mister Wonderful here, late for work again.  Please enjoy this ketchup
Wonder, a mighty reprint from the Golden Years....


-------- Original Message --------
Subject: SAVE WONDER!
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1999 


Dear Mister Wonderdrug that works Wonders,

	Do e-mail petitions (add your name and forward to ten friends to save
Sesame Street and so on) actually have any effect?

Yours,
A. King
Macon, Mississippi
_________________
Dear Ass King,

	Aside from pissing me off to no end?  Not really.

	Frequently they are started by keyboard-wielding lame-o's with no lives
and a faddish obsession with fictional characters (SEE ALSO: Star Trek
Fans, Medieval Revivalists and Comic Book Readers).  These people seem
to feel that the creative and managerial people behind their favorite
show, etc. somehow *owe* them.  They think that by threatening to
inundate someone's e-mail box with the names of other pimply losers,
they are going to be able to influence what characters live or die, what
shows survive and don't or what episodes are "canonical", as if these
decisions weren't being made by the subtle frission between creative
genius and market forces.

	Here's the truth:  most high-level execs couldn't turn on a computer,
much less read their e-mail.  If some flunky comes up to them with the
petition printed out, they immediately suspect them of being a brainy
know-it-all, and fire them on the spot.  Thus, nothing ever happens, no
matter how many spock jockeys forward their inanity about.



********************
WONDERFUL: THE NEXT GENERATION
******************** 

-- 
The Gun King

***************http://www.starbucksaddict.com/ ***************

	M: It happens to be 3:00 a.m.  When do you
		sleep, 007?

	Bond:  Never on the firm's time, sir.

	- Bernard Lee to Sean Connery,
	"Doctor No" (1962)
	Directed by Terence Young
	Screenplay by Richard Maibum, Johanna Harwood, 
	& Berkley Mather
	Based on the novel by Ian Fleming