[Wonderful Labs] EXPOSING THE WONDER

Wonderful Laboratories misterw@mindspring.com
Sun, 01 Aug 2004 04:18:26 -0700


Dear Mister Wonderful,

	In what movie is Johnny Depp most naked?

______________
Dear Winona Rideless,

	The one that plays in my heart - 100,800 times a day.

	
	But seriously, who cares about naked?  That Johnny boy's a goddamn
transvestite hooker in "Before Night Falls."  Do you really think his
pasty white chest panting in confused lust over the devil-chick in "The
Ninth Gate" is somehow sexier just because more skin is exposed?  Fie! 
And scorn!

	Here is a thing I will tell you for free:  you do not want to see
Monsieur Depp's nakedness.  As a pre-Adamite monster of gorgeous
lusciability, he is unfortunately built along the lines of a Ken doll,
nest pas?  Better to let him dance about in your imagination, where he
was born.
	
	The Depp creature was sent to this Earth by benevolent star-monsters
outside the scope of modern physics in order to teach us the meaning of
the Air song "Sexy Boy."  Once we know that, deep in our souls, then we
will not only speak French, but we will also understand that there *is
no divide* between male and female, black and white, old and new... for
there isn't, not really.  In beauty there is no contradiction, and the
ways of pain and death shall pass.

	Plus, he funny pirate man.


***************
WONDERFUL LABS - Goofing Off Like Pros
***************

Mister Wonderful Recommends:  Earl McGraw, the hard-scrabble poet of the
Texas Rangers, who managed to get shot in a Robert Rodriguez film only
to find himself resurrected for Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill-a-rama. 
If he ain't in the family tree of the Lone Ranger, then I'll eat my hat.

http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0662981/



-- 
Mars Attacks

	"Didn't mean to laugh, didn't know I had. Didn't know
	the better part of what you said cuz in your head you
	are not home." 

	- Modest Mouse,
	"One Chance"


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