[Wonderful Labs] LIFT AND WONDER

[Wonderful Labs]

Mr. Wonderful,

	What does Wonderful Labs have to say about breast implants for women
with naturally imperfect breasts, as opposed to ones who have "normal"
breasts but want them anyway?

A Curious Pervert
___________________
Dear Silly Cone,

	I'm... sorry.  Not quite getting you there.  I suspect Mister Monkey's
been fiddling with the Universal Translator again - trying to get it to
whoop obscenities during High Tea with the Wookie Ambassador.  

	"Imperfect breasts" he says.  Don't quite get that.  I don't understand
the whole premise, really, of using the word "imperfect" here,
especially when discussing surgical implants.  Because then I think
you're implying that jelly balls under the skin will somehow make
someone more "perfect."  Which makes about as much sense as a tuna fish
top hat in a cat house.

	You know what though?  If the Founding Fathers had gotten We The People
together in order to make a more perfect breast, we wouldn't be in this
goddamn mess.  Instead, they had to go and form a more perfect onion. 
Now everyone's crying.

	Then again, an "unnaturally imperfect" breast could be one that
transforms into a Norse god with only one eye when the temperature drops
below fifty degrees.  I would definitely get that looked at by a doctor.
 Well, I say "doctor" but I mean "me."  I have strange needs.

	Anyway.  Point is.  If body modification makes you happy, Mister
Wonderful is happy with you.  The only real way to make yourself more
attractive is to *dig yourself*.  Most of that is Acceptance, but if
jumbly bazongas help get you through the night, amen and pass the
flavored unguents.
	 

******************
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http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/modestmouse/blackcadillacs.html
http://wemadeoutinatreeandthisoldguysatandwatchedus.com/archives.php
http://www.lexfn.com/

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