[Wonderful Labs] DOCTOR FEELWONDER

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear Wonderful,

	Why don't doctors work on a contingency fee basis like lawyers do?

Signed,
Rex Morgan, M.D.
____________________
Dear Ars Longa Lex Brevis,

	"Tell us another story," said the nurses.  "You're so frightfully
clever, Uncle Wonderful."

	"My goodness," I said.  "Then someone had better pull out another
blanket.  It looks as though it's getting cold in here, and those
uniforms must have been made during a thread shortage."

	"Budget cuts," they giggled.

	"God bless short-sighted fiscal policy," I murmured, putting another
ice cube into my mescaline IV.

	Six months later, I woke up in Corpus Christi, Texas, with a bloodhound
licking strawberry preserves off my face.  I was wearing Larry Hagman's
hairpiece.  The scars on the insides of my thighs spoke of laser
tattoo-removal surgery.  I had three parking tickets pinned to my chest.

	"That damned left turn at Albuquerque..."  Never would I let
night-school nurses drive the hovercraft again.



	My point is this:  I've frequently been in hospitals.  Sometimes
legally.  And let me tell you about contingent health care: It wouldn't
work, for very metaphysical reasons.

	Lawyers have their contingency fees paid out of successful cash
settlements.  What's a doctor going to get for saving a life?  A
percentage of the life?  The patient becomes 15% slave?  Successfully
set a broken leg and you can use that person to kick your enemies two
months out of the year?  "I'll guarantee you reattached fingers - or I
don't get my back scratching."  

	I shan't even mention what the oral surgeons would claim.

	

****************
WONDERFUL LABS - The Dimple In Reality's Smile
****************

Mister Wonderful Recommends: Red hot naked emperors.  

http://www.tucsonweekly.com/gbase/Currents/Content?oid=oid:49247

-- 
Roll your own Revolver

	"Come on, let's shag ass."

		- Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman),
		"The Royal Tenenbaums"

Build thine self a pyramid of Wonder
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wonderfullabs/
http://www.wonderfullabs.com/tempe.html
http://www.livejournal.com/~ideaspace
http://www.cafeshops.com/apotheosis