[Wonderful Labs] STARRY-EYED WONDER

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear Wonderful,

	After 32 years of perfect, nae, better than perfect vision (20/15 at
one time), tomorrow I pick up my first pair of prescription eyeglasses. 
I have accepted that Father Time is a cruel master and has inflicted
this malady on me.  Now that I must bear this albatross, what other
ways, besides helping me see when I drive at night, may I use this eyewear?

Signed,

"Goggles" Paisano
_________________
Dear X. Ray Spex,

	You know, Dorothy Parker once said: "Boys seldom have glasses with
girls who make asses."  Then she slipped messily under the table and
fumbled at the buttons on Harpo Marx's trousers while the jazz played on
and on around us in a smoky hashish haze.



	Your business is your business, but Mister Wonderful suggests that you
leave the albatross in the closet when going out at night.  Dead sea
bird can ruin the effect of a smart apricot scarf.  This is the voice of
experience talking -  I was at this party with Carly Simon and she
*totally* blew the whole thing out of proportion with that "You're So
Ancient (Mariner)" song.


	The best way to use a pair of eyeglasses is, of course, to use them to
make sure that the beautiful creature across the dance floor is *indeed*
your mountain of mojo and not a sniveling little folksinger who's going
to whine to Mick Jagger about "your behavior."  A haircut can fool you
at a distance if your peepers are not peppered.

	Another great use for eyeglasses is to completely dupe the city of
Metropolis into thinking you are mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent when,
in reality, you are hung over.  Glasses do a marvelous job of disguising
dark circles, bloodshot eyes, and other hazards of the mystery man
trade.  Excelsior!


*******************
WONDERFUL LABS - Polysyllabic Surprise To Flood The Thighs Of The Wise
*******************

Mister Wonderful Recommends:  Tonight, on a very new, very angry "Get
Your War On":  clip-art characters take no prisoners.

http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/war26.html


P.S. and, of course, the Francis French bag
http://www.ebags.com/products/index.cfm?ModelID=15681

-- 
Congratulations, kid.  You reinvented the Revolver.

	"I came as Ice
	I came as a whore
	I came as advice that came too short"

		- Modest Mouse,
		"I Came As A Rat"

The Happy Spanking Grounds
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