[Wonderful Labs] REACH THE HIGH WONDERS

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear Mr. Wonderful,

	How come big people/animals usually have deep voices (but sometimes
not) and little people/animals have high voices (or sometimes not)?  And
how come a lot of gymnasts have high voices?  Is it because they're
small, or that they're made out of helium?  Just kidding on the last
one. Answer my first question please and don't go off on a helium
tangent or I will consult Mr. Dark.

Thank you,
Sally
_____________
Dear Farinelli,

	So... you're saying that the big ones go deep?  That's no surprise
around Wonderful Labs.

	In answer to your query, however -  Gymnasts and other tiny objects
predicted by Sir Isaac Newton have high-pitched voices because of the
Doppler Effect.  The sound waves they create are compressed by their
minuscule throats and thus go counter-clockwise in the Southern
Hemisphere... causing hurricanes over Greenland.  Which, I don't know if
you know, is actually Red (because of all the people desperately moving
away from it).  

	That joke *kills* at Physics Department picnics, okay?

	All Mister Wonderful knows is that you should never trust a
seven-foot-tall Mormon with a wig who calls himself Lucy; no matter how
sweetly he sings those sad old songs from your childhood.  You're so
damn right to say that the deep ones are only sometimes large.  Then
again, sometimes the Deep Ones are just shadows over Innsmouth.

	*That* joke kills at Miskatonic University convocations, but only by
driving one beyond the mountains of madness.

	

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WONDERFUL LABS - Inventors Of The Heat-Sensitive Mood Underwear -  Blue
Means Go!
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Mister Wonderful Recommends:  Blinding you with Giants.

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-- 
Der Hexer

	"Some velvet morning when I'm straight,
	I'm gonna open up your gate.
	And maybe tell you about Phaedra
	And how she gave me life
	And how she made it end
	Some velvet morning when I'm straight..."

		- Lee Hazelwood,
		"Some Velvet Morning"

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