[Wonderful Labs] The Quest for the Heart and Wonder

[Wonderful Labs]

Dearest Readers,

	Previously on WONDERFUL LABS...

	We, that is, me, Mister Wonderful, and my two droogies, Mister Dark and
Mister Malice, having fled the dreary confines of polite society, found
ourselves in need of returning to said polite society in order to
retrieve certain items of apocalyptic import from certain Middle Eastern
cities before certain flight-suit-wearing yahoos stumbled upon them in
their pursuit of certain empires.  So we packed up and lit out of
Wonderful Laboratories for the wild beyonder.  

	And why not?  ORGASMAX, the Wonderful Labs computer, had jumped upon
the fritz and was likely to remain there until we lobbed great
bucketfuls of cash down its maw.  I knew I could best compensate for my
inability to answer the dozens of queries now trapped in an 8'x10'
silicon paperweight, queries from readers *just like you* (but with
tousled hair and confused expression), by drinking a variety of liquors
in their native lands, then visiting the native "facilities," and
perhaps then seeing the inside of the native "police stations."  Miss
Yakamoto promised she would take care of things *as usual*, and then she
kicked me goodbye.

	Along the way we met a monkey who worked as a spy for a foreign
government, but he decided to join up with us heathens instead.  We also
went off-course (but on corset) a few times, and I wrote marvelously
entertaining picaresque travelogues describing how Mister Malice
couldn't be trusted to successfully navigate a pint of Guinness through
an Irish priest.  Bastard.  Then, what with one thing and another, and
time continuing to flow in one direction for these limited, ego-bound
bodies, we found ourselves here in Potrzebie - an ancient civilization
with modern "facilities," a nation spread across hundreds of charming
islands that ring the earth like a neon mobius strip of kismet.

	AND NOW...

	Although I am working with borrowed computing power and slipshod
communications networks, it seems as though the ingenuity of readers
*just like you* knows no bounds.  A shimmering lovebird flew my way as I
sashayed down a Potrzebian beach, a band of silver around her tiny leg. 
Could it be?  Yes!  For I, even I, away in this arcane land, have
received a fresh query.  Although I have not my powerful Wonderful Labs
research materials and my tab needs to be paid at Amelia Earhart's LAST
FLIGHT bar, I am quite overjoyed to have this opportunity to
enlightentain, if only for a simple query...

	
	Dear Mr. Wonderful,
		Did dinosaurs have feathers?  Do you think 
		their feathers were as pretty as my bird's?  
		What is your favorite dinosaur?  My 
		brother's was a Stegosaurus.
	Love,
	Fluffy
	p.s. what fabric softener do you use?
	__________________
	Dear Old Faithful,

		I'll tell you one thing:  Mae West had a feather *boa*.  I'm not
saying she was a dinosaur, but the evolutionary link between a dinosaur
and a battleship is so thin you could use it to pick a flea's teeth.

		I'm not saying Mae West had fleas, either.  It's true.  But I'm not
saying it.  Dinosaurs rarely had fleas.  They had trilobites.

		Big Bird is pretty clearly the "missing link" between dinosaurs and
avians, isn't he, though?  I'd certainly say your bird's feathers are
much nicer; mainly because they aren't coated with "Hooper-goop."

		My favorite dinosaur remains Abe Vigoda.  He's like a coelacanth: they
thought it was extinct, but it lives.  It lives still!

	yrs,
	MW

		P.S. I soften my fabrics through wear and tear.  Wear and tear, baby.
		
		
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WONDERFUL LABS - We Strike When The Irony Is Cool
*******************

Mister Wonderful Recommends:  Pirates.  Well, good pirates.  Or rather,
fictional pirates.  Or rather, pirates about whom tales are told.  What
I'm getting at is, there are greedy pig bastards, and there are pirates.
 Pirates have flair.  And tremendous booty.  And a shivery timbre.

http://www.tellnotales.com/
http://www.jberlyne.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/powers/stranger.htm
http://www.bonney-readkrewe.com/legend.html
http://www.sonic.net/%7Epress/index.html

-- 
Make your own Goo Goo Muck, then have a friend join you

	"Once we're alone in Cognito
	We'll remove all of our clothes very fast,
	But though we be naked as jaybirds,
	At no time will we take off our masks."

		- Tom Robbins,
		"Villa Incognito"

Is it a time warp, or is it a lack of updating enthusiasm?
http://www.wonderfullabs.com/tempe.html
http://www.livejournal.com/~ideaspace
http://www.cafeshops.com/apotheosis