[Wonderful Labs] Full Of Sound and Wonder

[Wonderful Labs]

Dearest Readers,

	Then we get up on the tables like this... and we swing our hips like
this... Mister Wonderful here in terpsichorean Potrzebie, the island
nation that rings the world like a glittering thong of mystery.

	As they say in the cattle prod industry, there have been stunning
developments of late.  Mister Dark, Mister Malice and Mister Monkey
interrupted my Midnight Moonshine Meditation (tm) with the clatter of
stones at my window and a bullhorn.  "WAKE UP, YOU LOUSY PAEDOPHILE!"
came the gentle voice of my entropic crew.  "GET YOUR LABCOAT-COVERED
ASS DOWN HERE.  WE FOUND AMELIA EARHART!"

	"Fuck off.  So what?" I shouted back scientifically.

	"SHE OWNS A BAR."


	Let me tell you, there are few 105-year-old lesbians who can make a
really fine Mint Julep.  Particularly at that hour of the night.  I
should know, having once spent a Greyhound bus layover in Albuquerque,
New Mexico.

	Not that Amy's necessarily a lesbian - but *apparently* when she got
here she thought she'd washed up on the shore of Wonder Woman's
"Paradise Island."  No one bothered to tell her different - it was more
amusing to watch the aviatrix suck up to the "Amazons."  Good for the
tourist trade, too.

	So, yeah, the bar.  THE LAST FLIGHT is a cool pad, man.  Got a real
"Casablanca meets Milliways" feel to it.  Anyway.  Point is.  I wanted
to bring to your attention some of the stuff they've got on the
placemats.  I don't know who wrote it, but it's an almost totally
unreliable guide to Potrzebian culture.  You must check it! -->

IN SUNNY POTRZEBIE...

	...the seashells sing shanties by the seizure.
	...the government is a constitutional democracy, but no one considers
themselves worthy of office, or even objective and informed enough to
vote, hence the empty Parliament.
	...the gods are near.
	...so are the sharks.
	...there are no gods.
	...the hearing aids all whisper sexy French curses.
	...we do not say that Money makes the world go round.  We say that
Language makes the world go round.
	...We also say that Rotational Momentum makes the world go oblate spheroid.
	...the massive hexagonal libraries stock pornography and Playstation games.
	...folks are rewarded for their speculations, not their results.
	...the pineapples naturally grow paper fortunes inside their fruit.
	...a typical pineapple fortune is, "You should try a pear."
	...the fish don't need bicycles, but they like to have them just in case.
	...Death is widely regarded as a doorway.  A knife-ringed, electrified
doorway leading to an empty elevator shaft at the bottom of which are
hundreds of broken bottles, but still.
	...the highest form of literature is the "Locked Detective" mystery.
	...the national motto is "Keep Watching The Skies."

	There's more, but the hour is late, and the dear Earhart woman wants to
tell me another "Lindbergh snatched his own brat" anecdote.  There's
never a failure of intrigue here in lovely Potrzebie.

yours until the colossal squid takes office,
Mister Wonderful


****************
WONDERFUL LABS - Enlightenment In 30 Minutes Or The Wisdom Is Free
****************

Mister Wonderful Recommends: Feeding your head already.  Information
wants to be free, but so what, if no one bakes it a cake with a file in
it, right?  When evil rampages, things get lost.  Don't let it happen to you.

http://www.thememoryhole.org/index.htm

-- 
Repeatez vous the Goo Goo Muck, silver plate.

	"Haven't I read all of this in a book?
	It seems the Romans were hung on the same hook
	We might lose a little bit in the translation
	But I think It's basically the same equation"

		- Naked Raygun,
		"Free Nation"

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