[Wonderful Labs] WONDER O' THE GREEN

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear 1-der-ful,

	Is it de rigueur to get totally shnocked on St. Patrick's Day if you
have even a little Irish ancestry?  If so, what beverage should one
imbibe when getting totally shnocked?  Lastly, what do you do on St.
Patrick's Day?

Signed,
Shamrock Shake
____________________
Dear All Beef Paddy,

	What do I, Mister Wonderful, do on St. Patrick's Day?  Funny.  I can't
seem to remember...

	I believe that St. Patrick's Day schnocking is mandatory even if you
have a little Irish *antipathy*.  Everybody who drinks at all is an
absolute puddle that day.  That's in the United States, of course.  In
England you get drunk the day before, and hope that you'll still be numb
when the bombs go off.

	When hammering your brains out with a shotglass, it's important to
remember pacing.  While a Creamy Disgust (Equal Parts of everything
remotely Irish and alcoholic you can find in the house - plus some green
food coloring) might sound like an excellent top of the morning, it will
most likely cancel your holiday plans, as well as your digestive system.
 Begin simply, with Jameson's Irish Whiskey.  Jameson's - smooth and
strong, like a shaved puma.

	If the Jameson's Irish Whiskey people are looking for a spokesdrunk, I
*am* available for telethons and free samples.

	After a few hours of careful whiskey sipping, move on to the charming
array of Irish beers.  After you've knocked them all over with your wild
staggering, go back to the whiskey bottle and start writing that poetry,
or your advice column.  It's St. Patrick's Day, so don't worry;
eventually folks will start bringing the beers *near* you, and then
you're set for the evening.  Guinness kicks all through the night.


	By the by, chum, aside from making final preparations for the Thirteen
Days of Wonderful (tm) festivities, on most St. Patrick's Days I insist
that Miss Yakamoto bind me to the mast and leave my ears unplugged so
that I might more safely hear the maddening Siren's song.  Of course,
we're not ever really out in the Aegean Sea, nor even Dublin, but I
think Joyce would agree that it's the binding that counts, don't you?


****************
WONDERFUL LABS - May We Tickle Your Sensayuma?
****************

Mister Wonderful Recommends:  The faint echo of Umberto.  An Italian who
does more than look good?  Yes.  He write pretty, like them Dantesque
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http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/pages/ShArt.jhtml?itemNo=266414&contrassID=2&subContrassID=5&sbSubContrassID=0&listSrc=Y
http://www.themodernword.com/eco/

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Hope you get to read this before your birthday.

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		Back when Truth, Justice and the 
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