[Wonderful Labs] A Drink of Moonlight and Wonder

[Wonderful Labs]

Dearest Readers,

	GREETINGS FROM LOVEHUMPY POTRZEBIE!

	"What have you got there, Wonderchunks?  Another drivelous installment
of _Gullible's Travels_?"  asks Mister Dark from just over my shoulder,
his lizard breath forming shadows in the air.

	I don't turn around, having fallen for the petrifying "Medusa Goggles"
gag once too often.  "Actually, I'm just starting the column now," I
say.  "So far it's what you said, and me saying this now."

	"Oh, how very 3-D of you," he scoffs.  "How *meta*.  I'm sure the
sexually-deviant institutionalized Jello-eaters you call readers will be
thrilled.  Are you *thrilled*, fluff heads?  Are you thrilled to be
addressed in real time, you rank baby suckers?  Here is another thrill
for you, buglets:  I am not even saying this.  Mister Wonderful is
sitting in a room *by himself*, drowning in the stink of his lonely
mediocrity.  These words that you are reading are wrapped in quotation
marks, but they are as false as your mothers' honor.  Does that tickle
your ironies, Generation Xies?  Are your post-modern juices flowing? 
How I hate you and your easily-twisted, logo-primitive, water-filled
heads.  May you all be crushed in Ethan Hawke's sphincter."

	With that, he claps a hand to my shoulder, and I can tell by the
wilting of the lei over my hatstand that he's smiling.  "That should
keep the little ducks guessing, Wondergoon.  Just popped by, actually,
to let you know that I'll be in your bedroom for a while, teaching the
monkey how to breed spiders."

	
	Writing is sometimes more dangerous than people think.


	In any case, good friends, it's been a lovely weekend here in
Potrzebie.  The waylon flowers are blooming, the loganberries are
running, and the jejune bugs are doing not much at all.  It almost makes
me wish I was here by choice, and not because there's still nary a point
in returning home, which we don't know the way to anyway, which we
couldn't get to even if we did, what with the angels with the flaming
swords over there, and Heimdall putting up a toll booth on the Bifrost
Bridge exit.

	Good news, though!  Miss Yakamoto sent a poisson pen letter (that's a
note tucked into the belly of fish served to you at a French restaurant)
indicating that a series of tricky sailors sways ready to assist in
delivering Wonderqueries directly to me here on the island paradise of
Potrzebie.  This chain of drunken shambles may not be the *best*
solution to the communication problem, but pirated questions arrrrrgh
better than none.
	

Yours with a growing, but still highly praised, beard,
MW

********************
WONDERFUL LABS - If We Explained Everything, Would You Hold It Against Us?
********************
Mister Wonderful Recommends:  A little momrath outrage.

http://www.thenation.com/outrage/

-- 
Wop Bop A Loo Bop Ba Lop Bam Goo Goo Muck.  Pass it on.

	"Thinking... is what gets you caught from behind."

		- O.J. Simpson,
		quoted in "Zen To Go" (1989)
		edited by Jon Winokur


To Clear Up any Confusion: new queries for WONDERFUL LABS *are* being
accepted at the usual e-mail addresses, and will be answered in a
timeless fashion.  Any queries sent before mid-April, however, are
trapped in the currently powerless Powerbook we normally use, alongside
the unarchived "missing years of wonder".  *This should not cause
uncontrolled weepery.*  Pull yourselves together.  Please dry your
saddles and look forward to the future!  Mail us all those weird little
nodules of conundra that are fouling up your beeswax!  Ask the
unaskable!  Inquire after the queer!  Penetrate the mystery!  Assume the position!

Chewing Gum Fo Yo Mind
http://www.wonderfullabs.com/tempe.html
http://www.livejournal.com/~ideaspace
http://www.cafeshops.com/apotheosis

As always, subscribe and unsubscribe at the link below, chucklefiends.