[Wonderful Labs] A Dance of Masks and Wonder

[Wonderful Labs]

Dearest Readers, 

	GREETINGS FROM SWELL POTRZEBIE!

	Smile, darn ya, smile... unless you're swinging upside-down from a
gibbet, then don't, because it'll look all creepy.  Mister Wonderful
here, ticking off the moments of the kaliyuga in my misty jungle bower
and wishing you all firm pecs and tight abs, not to mention shapely
glutes.  Quite often this column is a bit intellecto-centric, so I
thought I'd just give the physical world a quick shake.

	Did you enjoy it?

	In any case, I cracked open a coconut this afternoon, hoping to find
the limes that Mister Monkey hid, but Lo!  No!  I instead found a
concrete slab with a chiseled query from a longtime reader who must have
suffered through terrible trials and initiations to get this massive
series of potent preguntas to my island hideaway. 

	"Well, rub me with raw spices and call me cajun," I said.  "Monkey! 
Fetch me another bucket of grog.  I can *sneeze* and meet our word quota tonight."


>Mister Wonderful,
>After watching the original Star Wars trilogy, 
>I have come to a very interesting conclusion. If 
>one really thinks about it, the "chosen one", the
>"one who would bring balance to the force" isn't 
>Anakin Skywalker or his whiney son but rather 
>Colt .45's own Lando Calrissian.
>Think about it:
>Lando saved Chewbacca and Leia from going with 
>Vader and being tortured and killed by the Empire
>which meant Leia was alive (thanks to Lando) to 
>*sense* that Luke was injured after his battle 
>with Vader and dangling from underneath Cloud City 
>and had to be saved which really means nothing until
>Lando was the one who brought Luke into the Falcon 
>safely which insured that Luke was now alive (thanks 
>to Lando) to defeat Vader and renounce the
>Darkside of the Force. Because Leia was alive 
>(thanks to Lando) she was now also able to rescue 
>Han from Carbonite, which meant that Han could now 
>blow up the bunker on Endor which disabled the defense 
>shield around the Death Star, allowing the Rebels 
>access to the Death Stars energy core which I do
>believe was destroyed by LANDO!
>In the case of Chewbacca, he's alive (thanks to Lando) 
>to help find Han in Jabba's palace and then to later 
>man an Imperial Walker which he used to basically 
>wipe out the rest of the Imperial Troops that the 
>Ewoks couldn't defeat on Endor. Again, speaking of
>Death Star, was Lando the one who blew up the central 
>core of this new *technological terror* which finally 
>meant the end of the Empire? Why yes, it freaking was!
>Why then is all the glory bestowed on a young 
>white-boy and his band of white friends and no respect 
>is given to the real hero who happens to be of
>color? Hmmm, if it wasn't for Lando, things would 
>have turned out a lot differently, huh?
>-Malcolm Maul
_________________
Dear Lobot,

	Well, if he wanted to get credit for balancing the Force, he shouldn't
have gotten that blowjob from an Ugnaught intern in the Baron's Office.



*************************
WONDERFUL LABS - Mind of Casanova, Body of Plato... Hey, Wait A Minute
*************************
Mister Wonderful Recommends: Schoolin' 'em.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/03/113.html
http://wwwsecure.law.cornell.edu/constitution/constitution.overview.html

-- 
Boom Boom Le Goo Goo Muck, Baby

	"The result of all this is that all of you who
	are worth your salt will be absolutely delighted 
	when I tell you to scrap all the rules and 
	discover your own. Sir Richard Burton said: 
	'He noblest lives and noblest dies, who makes
	and keeps his self-made laws.'"

		- Aleister Crowley,
		http://www.mninter.net/~jmcmanus/yoga/

Mysteria Mystica Maxima
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