[Wonderful Labs] THE SCENT OF A WONDER

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear Mr. W,

	I have a friend (and no, it's not me) who is showing all the classic
signs of being from the island of Lesbos, if you catch my drift.

	How do I signal her that it's okay to come out to me, without sending
the wrong signal?

Sincerely,
In a delicate condition
________________
Dear Diana Prince of the Amazons,

	The last time I caught a drift from Lesbos it wound up costing me fifty
dollars and eighteen stitches.

	Look, before you all start writing in -- I don't exactly know what that
joke means either; I got it from Groucho Marx 35 years ago, and he was
going banana gazoo on peyote at the time.

	What exactly *are* the "classic signs" of one who hails from that
ancient Greek isle of Lesbos?  Wearing a toga from an Indigo Girls
concert?  All her male friends are Spartans?  Writing poetry where the
rhyming words are "bet," "tripping," "wussy," "lung," "lingering,"
"bard," "whipple," "cot" and "bunt"?

	In any case, Mister Wonderful is a tremendous fan of the Lesbonites,
particularly those who work in the theatre.  If your friend needs a leg
up (so to speak), in claiming her Hellenic heritage, just send her
around to the Wonderful Laboratories.  We have several interns who know
the lyrics to Ani DiFranco songs.

	At no charge, we will provide your friend with an official tasteful
leatherette Lesbonian Passport.  After that, no words are necessary. 
Just stamp your approval and smile.


*****************
WONDERFUL LABS - Blowing The Doors Off Closets Since 1969
*****************
Mister Wonderful Recommends:  Being in San Francisco four days ago. 
Sorry.  If it's any consolation, I wasn't there either.  *I* was
gathering bacteria and virii for the phlegmy phun goodtime I'm having
now.  Christ, it's like eight Mongols are nesting in my sinuses.  With
their horses, even.  I've been sleeping, like, thirteen hours a day,
which is like eight days a week, only less fun and with more back pain. 
Anyway, literary goodness is yours, if you'll only take this, all of
you, and eat it.  Sorry!  Wrong holiday.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/
http://www.invisiblelibrary.com/ILMaindesk.htm
http://www.lemonysnicket.com/
http://www.locusmag.com/2003/Reviews/12_Lalumiere_TripleX.html


-- 
Honey Why

	"The Mentally Ill Mathematician seems now in some
	ways to be what the Knight Errant, Mortified Saint,
	Tortured Artist, and Mad Scientist have been for
	other eras: sort of our Prometheus, the one who 
	goes to forbidden places and returns with gifts we
	all can use but he alone pays for."

		-David Foster Wallace, 
		"Everything and More: A Compact History of 
		(Infinity)"


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