[Wonderful Labs] SHOPPING FOR WONDER

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear Mister Wonderful,

	So this Bed Bath & Beyond add come in the mail.  On the back is a
picture of a Mr. Wonderful Doll that's on sale for $14.99.  It's a doll
dressed in khakis, blue button-down shirt, loafers, a hairdo that would
make Alfalfa proud and is saying "I love you!"  It claims that it will
say 16 phrases, and for ages 3 and up.
(http://www.mikefeinbergcompany.com/tamrwodo.html)

	My question(s) is:  WHAT THE HELL???!!!???!!!  And isn't $14.99 a bit
cheap for 16 Mr. Wonderful phrases?  What are the 15 other phrases?  
And can you get me one, wholesale?

__________________
Dear Ratty McRatfink, Squealer of Cheese,

	As I told the police, that product has very little to do with me or my
Laboratory.  All of my personal lab coats carry a warning label
indicating that *this* Mister contains parts that may be a choking
hazard.  Thus I am solely appropriate for ages 16 and up, and even then
only in Denmark.

	As a rule, I haven't liked talking dolls since Charlie McCarthy got
loose from Edgar Bergen's hand and started murdering all those Hollywood
Communists.  Nasty business.  I can still feel the splinters in my leg
whenever the weather is cold.

	
	Be that as it may...

	The WONDERFUL LABS **PLAY WITH IT** Brand "Mister Wonderful" Action
Figure - with Quik-Release(tm) Pants and Jumpy Monkey accessory - will
speak up to 23 phrases.  Ten of these phrases will be too slurred to be
understood.  Another five will contain the words "Salma" and "Please."
One will audibly leer.  There will, of course, be a variation on
"Anyway.  Point is."  Three will be repeats of previous phrases in a
fakey British accent.  Two will invoke demons.  And, lest we forget:
"APE LAW!"

	Mister Dark says that the Voodoo Pin expansion play pack will sell like
gangbusters.  



*******************
WONDERFUL LABS - Your Hyper-Dimensional Self-Lubricating Highly
Illuminated Shadowy Laughing Place
*******************

Mister Wonderful Recommends:  That delightful lack of spine which makes
the world so richly charming.  Although there are *some* nice things
that are rigid, they aren't always thus - and I think it's that
vacillating tumescence what gives them interest.

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/8796/nospine.html

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0805042180/qid=1072255966/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-6370228-3051052?v=glance&s=books

http://www.wordspy.com/words/flexitarian.asp

Bonus Holiday Cartoon Falalalala:
http://www.aulcallahan.com/index.html


-- 
Honey Why

	"What became of strife's antidote, gentilesse?
	Well I woot and truly trowe that, drowning,
	I must call out "Help!" and not "Harrow!"
	I wish I wiste why one word dies and one survives..."

		-Charles Harper Webb, 
		"Reading _The Canterbury Tales_,
		I Mourn Lost Words"


Speakeasies of Love
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wonderfullabs/
http://www.wonderfullabs.com/tempe.html
http://www.livejournal.com/~ideaspace
http://www.cafeshops.com/apotheosis