[Wonderful Labs] RAISE THE BLACK WONDER

[Wonderful Labs]

Dear Mr. Wonderful,

	Wesley, the Dread Pirate Roberts versus Captain Jack Sparrow.  Who
would win?  Also, could we arrange for the contest to be mud wrestling?

Love and stuff,
Curious
_______________
Dear Queen Anne's Damp Revenge,

	Cary Elwes and Johnny Depp?  *Mud wrestling*?  Are you *crazy*, woman? 
It's clear that this situation calls for *hot oil* wrestling.

	You fetch the grog; I'll hoist my jib.

	
	TWO PIRATES walk into a baaargh.

	Bartender says, "If you guys are pirates, where are your hooks? 
Where's the parrot?  Where's the eyepatch?  Why are you wearing shiny
red shirts and carrying tambourines?"

	"Let this be a warnin' to ye," says one of the pirates.  "We've just
returned from Davey Jones's Locker."


	Let's face it, sunshine, this one's over before the poop hits the deck:
Captain Jack Sparrow could kick Wesley's ass all over the high seas. 
Why?  

	He cheats.  He cheats early, he cheats often, and he cheats well.  The
Dread Pirate Roberts gag is nice for duping Spaniards, but if  Mister
Love Conquers All goes up against a rusty saber and a cannon full of
smallpox-ridden voodoo-cursed spikes, he's got about as much chance as
Captain Eo.

*******************
WONDERFUL LABS - Home Of The Neverending Clue
*******************
Mister Wonderful Recommends: Amy Goddamn Sedaris.

http://www.jerriblank.com/
http://www.wigfield.com/
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-- 
Spare the rod, spoil the Revolver

	"Shakespeare, without benefit of lexicographers,
	and grammarians, did well enough, despite his
	double negatives, split infinitives, and singular
	verbs for plural subjects.  His sense of what
	the language was was oceanic; the spume of 
	solecism could be discounted, wiped away."

		- Anthony Burgess,
		"A Mouthful of Air"

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