[LargeFormat] How do I get off the list?

[Karl Faller]

Honesty...the best policy : )

> To My Fellow List Members:
>
> I meant to send this disclaimer last weekend, but got too involved in 
> some wedding photography workflow and forgot about it until, in an off 
> list email last night, I was told once again how humorous my "How to 
> unsubscribe" is/was.
>
> I have to tell you that I didn't write the unsubscribe instructions, 
> and that they are not original to me. They appeared on another list 
> some months ago and I saved them for the next time someone "needed" 
> them.
>
> My apologies to all for not making that clear when I posted them.
>
> Jim
>
>
>
>
> Brock Nanson wrote:
>
>> Jim, you're really raised the bar for humour around this list!  I 
>> just about fell off my chair reading this one.  Sounds much like some 
>> of the offshore computer hardware manuals I've seen.  And just about 
>> as logical.
>> Uncle Dick, I don't think I've seen a result for your Christmas 
>> contest.  I vote for this one, even if it doesn't relate!
>> Brock
>> On Thu, 15 Jan 2004, Jim Hemenway wrote:
>>> Joe:
>>>
>>> Here's how to unsubscribe:
>>>
>>> First, ask your Internet Provider to mail you an Unsubscribing Kit.
>>>
>>> Then follow these directions.
>>>
>>> The kit will most likely be the standard no-fault type. Depending on
>>> requirements, System A and/or System B can be used. When operating 
>>> System A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron unsubscriber will be 
>>> dispensed through the slot immediately underneath. When you have 
>>> fastened the adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X" 
>>> outlet hose. Twist the silver- coloured ring one inch below the 
>>> connection point until you feel it lock. The kit is now ready for 
>>> use. The Cin-Eliminator is activated by the small switch on the lip. 
>>> When securing, twist the ring back to its initial condition, so that 
>>> the two orange lines meet. Disconnect.
>>>
>>> Place the dalkron unsubscriber in the vacuum receptacle to the rear.
>>> Activate by pressing the blue button.  The controls for System B are
>>> located on the opposite side. The red release switch places the
>>> Cin-Eliminator into position; it can be adjusted manually up or down 
>>> by
>>> pressing the blue manual release button. The opening is self- 
>>> adjusting.
>>>
>>> To secure after use, press the green button, which simultaneously 
>>> activates the evaporator and returns the Cin-Eliminator to its 
>>> storage position.  You may log off if the green exit light is on 
>>> over the evaporator . If the red light is illuminated, one of the 
>>> Cin-Eliminator requirements has not been properly implemented. Press 
>>> the "List Guy" call button on the right of the evaporator . He will 
>>> secure all facilities from his control panel.
>>>
>>> To use the Auto-Unsub, first undress and place all your clothes in 
>>> the
>>> clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet 
>>> immediately below. Enter the shower, taking the entire kit with you. 
>>> On the control panel to your upper right upon entering you will see 
>>> a "Shower seal" button. Press to activate. A green light will then 
>>> be illuminated immediately below. On the intensity knob, select the 
>>> desired setting. Now depress the Auto-Unsub activation lever. Bathe 
>>> normally. The Auto-Unsub will automatically go off after three 
>>> minutes unless you activate the "Manual off" override switch by 
>>> flipping it up. When you are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower 
>>> seal" release button. The door will open and you may leave. Please 
>>> remove the velcro slippers and place them in their container.
>>>
>>> If you prefer the ultrasonic log-off mode, press the indicated blue 
>>> button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A & B. The 
>>> knob to the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, 
>>> low, medium or high.
>>>
>>> For normal use, the medium setting is suggested. After these 
>>> settings have been made, you can activate the device by switching to 
>>> the "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If during the 
>>> unsubscribing operation, you wish to change the settings, place the 
>>> "manual off" override switch in the "OFF" position. You may now make 
>>> the change and repeat the cycle.
>>>
>>> When the green exit light goes on, you may log off and have lunch.
>>>
>>> Please close the door behind you.
>>>
>>> Joe Levine wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>> How do I get off the list?
>>>> How do I get off the list?
>>>> How do I get off the list?
>>>> How do I get off the list?
>
> -- 
>
> Jim - http://www.hemenway.com
>
>
>
>
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