[LargeFormat] How do I get off the list? and Uncle Dick's contest

[Brock Nanson]

Jim, you're really raised the bar for humour around this list!  I just 
about fell off my chair reading this one.  Sounds much like some of the 
offshore computer hardware manuals I've seen.  And just about as logical.

Uncle Dick, I don't think I've seen a result for your Christmas contest.  
I vote for this one, even if it doesn't relate!

Brock


On Thu, 15 Jan 2004, Jim Hemenway wrote:

> Joe:
> 
> Here's how to unsubscribe:
> 
> First, ask your Internet Provider to mail you an Unsubscribing Kit.
> 
> Then follow these directions.
> 
> The kit will most likely be the standard no-fault type. Depending on
> requirements, System A and/or System B can be used. When operating 
> System A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron unsubscriber will be 
> dispensed through the slot immediately underneath. When you have 
> fastened the adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X" 
> outlet hose. Twist the silver- coloured ring one inch below the 
> connection point until you feel it lock. The kit is now ready for use. 
> The Cin-Eliminator is activated by the small switch on the lip. When 
> securing, twist the ring back to its initial condition, so that the two 
> orange lines meet. Disconnect.
> 
> Place the dalkron unsubscriber in the vacuum receptacle to the rear.
> Activate by pressing the blue button.  The controls for System B are
> located on the opposite side. The red release switch places the
> Cin-Eliminator into position; it can be adjusted manually up or down by
> pressing the blue manual release button. The opening is self- adjusting.
> 
> To secure after use, press the green button, which simultaneously 
> activates the evaporator and returns the Cin-Eliminator to its storage 
> position.  You may log off if the green exit light is on over the 
> evaporator . If the red light is illuminated, one of the Cin-Eliminator 
> requirements has not been properly implemented. Press the "List Guy" 
> call button on the right of the evaporator . He will secure all 
> facilities from his control panel.
> 
> To use the Auto-Unsub, first undress and place all your clothes in the
> clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet 
> immediately below. Enter the shower, taking the entire kit with you. On 
> the control panel to your upper right upon entering you will see a 
> "Shower seal" button. Press to activate. A green light will then be 
> illuminated immediately below. On the intensity knob, select the desired 
> setting. Now depress the Auto-Unsub activation lever. Bathe normally. 
> The Auto-Unsub will automatically go off after three minutes unless you 
> activate the "Manual off" override switch by flipping it up. When you 
> are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button. The 
> door will open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro slippers and 
> place them in their container.
> 
> If you prefer the ultrasonic log-off mode, press the indicated blue 
> button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A & B. The knob 
> to the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, low, medium 
> or high.
> 
> For normal use, the medium setting is suggested. After these settings 
> have been made, you can activate the device by switching to the "ON" 
> position the clearly marked red switch. If during the unsubscribing 
> operation, you wish to change the settings, place the "manual off" 
> override switch in the "OFF" position. You may now make the change and 
> repeat the cycle.
> 
> When the green exit light goes on, you may log off and have lunch.
> 
> Please close the door behind you.
> 
> Joe Levine wrote:
> 
> > How do I get off the list?
> > How do I get off the list?
> > How do I get off the list?
> > How do I get off the list?

-- 
Brock Nanson
Kamloops BC Canada