[LargeFormat] FW: Photo news in today's world
Tim Atherton
largeformat@f32.net
Tue Apr 1 16:54:04 2003
Subject: Photo news in today's world
In today's news...
Eastman Kodak announced they will be moving from the company's
Rochester, NY location to an undisclosed West coast location and
changing the name to Westman Kodak.
Agfa will stop making anything & now buy all supplies from Freestyle
in Los Angeles, re-name it & sell it as New Agfa Ltd film, paper &
chemistry.
Leica will require a financial statement from all prospective camera
buyers as well as a genealogy & family history to see if the
purchaser is worthy to own the worlds finest cameras.
Nikon is making an across the board 63% price increase on all camera
products. Company president, Joe Nikon was quoted as saying "it will
cost a bundle to put our new logo on all these fricken' lenses".
Minox have announced they will go into production with a full
featured View camera. Full movements including swing, tilt, front &
rear rise & fall, shift & long bellows extension of 4 1/ inches will
be standard.
Pentax announces the introduction of their latest 35mm fully manual
camera designed for student use. Dubbed the P-on, it will be marketed
to students in inner city schools, with a special edition to be sold
in Palestine, called the P-on-U.
Adobe today brought out the latest version of Photoshop. It does
nothing new, costs 33% more ($189.95 for the upgrade version), but
comes in a newly designed box with bright color graphics & includes a
never before seen tutorial section with full color photos of former
President Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in the oral office.
The Ansel Adams trust plans on marketing 'Ansel for everyone' tattoo
kits. These will consist of AA images one can tatoo on their forheads
or other body parts. Kits will include some of Ansels most well known
images with a special edition set of "moonrise" for placement on the
buttocks.
Wisner camera mfg. and Ken Hough announced an agreement in principal
to merge operations. This is said to insure higher quality & lower
waiting times for cameras to a mere 36 months... give or take a year
or so. Also in the plans is a takeover of Ries Tripod company, thus
assuring these legendary tripods will remain the stuff of legend as
you will now have to wait til the 12th of never to get one after
payment has been made.
Calumet has made the bold move to "make everything in the world", re-
badged with the Calumet name & logo & sold for prices only 30% more
than you can get it from the guys who originally came up with the
idea.
Maine Photographic Workshops has decided to move to Florida. Director
David Lyon, when asked why the move was taking place answered, "I am
tired of freezing my butt off. This place is cold as hell & getting
nude models to work for you is impossible. Miami will be a lot
better, for sure, for sure good buddy. We'll just have classes on the
beach & make a fortune by cutting overhead".
Ann Geddes announced she will have to stop marketing her trademark
babies in peapod images due to the worldwide 'peapod blight' that now
makes it impossible to get perfect peapods to put these little cuties
in.
Noted photographer Sally Mann has stated she will now only purchase
brand new Schneider lenses for here work. When asked about he sudden
change in direction she replied, "I had laser surgery on the eyes & I
can finally see sharply enough to focus the camera so new lenses are
a natural".
The Edward Weston estate has announced a new marketing plan.
Exhumation of Edward & Brett will take place and they will be honored
guests at a series of workshops to be held at Point Lobos. Workshop
participants can have their photograph taken with both during the
workshops for a nominal fee.
Popular Photography magazine has a new editorial direction. Only
honest articles will be printed from this time forth. No
more 'advertorials', and critical articles on equipment will be the
norm. Also announced is the downsizing to a monthly four page
pamphlet to make up for the expected shortfall in advertising revenue
which currently drives the magazine.
New Policy from the National Park Service. NO MORE PHOTOS of any kind
allowed in the Parks. They have signed an agreement with Corbis and
Getty to provide visitors with "all the photos they need" to show a
good park experience. You go, look through a CD of the area you are
interested in, have your photo taken by a parks employee & they will
digitally insert you, the family & even the family car into the photo
so you have vacation memories to last a lifetime. A divorce option
will be available for added cost... you send the photo back & they
remove the deadbeat from the picture.
... and there you have it. Only a bit of the news in the photo
world today.
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