[AGL] Happy Fourth of July, Y'all

[Fontaine Maverick]

In 1873, a team of German explorers and their three
dogs decided to penetrate the heart of the South
American jungle. After twelve years, they had set up a
fort in an Incan town, the centerpiece of which was
a large idol with a huge ruby for an eye.

The German church had sent out their best man, Friar
Wilhelm Werks three times to check on the progress of
the fort, and each time the appearance of the idol had
sent him into fits of screaming, complete with shouts,
curses, and rending of garments. Each time, he
screamed
so loud that he sent the dogs running for cover. And
each time, he left with a warning that the next time
he visited, the idol had better be torn down.

The commander of the fort, Hans Brickner, received a
message that Werks would be coming to visit again in a
fortnight. He quickly called a meeting with his top
commanders. All five agreed that the Friar would
explode when he saw the idol still standing.

"But," said Commander Brickner, "there's nothing to be
done. If we take down the idol, we will anger the
local tribe, and without their cooperation we're
dead."

His second-in-command, Herr Kommandant Wagner said,
"In that case, we'd better make sure we put the dogs
away."

"Why?"

"You know how scared the dogs get when Friar Werks
goes off on the Fort of Jewel Eye."
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