[AGL] UnHappy Trials?...KD

[Gerry]

Kathy, Frances, Marilyn,
I recently read about a 104 year old woman who lives alone, gets up every day and drives herself to work, smoked until she was 100, had a stroke when 89 which she (obviously) survived, etc. Yes, there are those among us who defy all the rules of longevity and live (it seems) forever. Should we model ourselves and our habits on warriors like her? Should we ignore all the other statistical studies relating to what we consume and the way it effects our health and just ride blindly into the sunset believing that we may be the statistical anomaly that will last forever? As one who has observed a loved one (father) and numerous dear friends attempt to defy the stats and die after prolonged, crippling and very painful end of life conditions, I choose to take a different course. Godammed right I talk about the recently deceased and the life styles that did them in and I will continue to shout into the realm of ignorance that argues the other case. I don't do this to dishonor the dead but rather to remind the living.

Last time I saw Clark he looked like living death. I am surprised he lasted as long as he did. Whether it was the colon cancer that set up the heart attack or the lungs full of puss is immaterial. It does seem that bad lungs and colon cancer go hand in hand and that recklessly negligent lifestyles which ignore all the medical warnings go hand in hand with painful endings. I should also mention obesity which most all of the members of the list seem to ignore as a sign of bad lifestyle and impending departure while embracing prescription drugs as the silver bullets which will somehow make everything OK. For me the bottom line is diet. You eat and drink like Clark Santos and you die a premature and painful death--99% of the time. I was further appalled at his righteous encouraging of others to share his diet, freaked me out, a messenger of death. I did not find this to be amusing. I did not like him because of it. But I loved him for his spirit and his generosity. I suspect he knew dammed well that he was never going to see 65. And I suspect that somewhere in the not too distant path his heart was broken by love or lack of it from an affair that turned out sadly.

Anyhow, the choice is yours. You go ahead and follow the path you think is right for you. I have been there and watched up close as old friends who lived recklessly check out in pain. Not for me. Never again, too painful for me. When you are on your death bed I will not be a sympathetic mourner.  And it is not out of disrespect for their souls and their indominitable spirits either but rather a desire to focus on the days ahead and friendships with those who really care about trying to live every day in beauty, to realize their potential instead of farting it off.

Still swinging in good health two years after the cancer diagnosis and recently observing the 69th anniversary of my birth (in deep, rural NM where the mornings are very cold and very beautiful) and still finding beauty and strength in fresh foods the promise of a healthy future they seem to promise,
G



  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Frances Morey 
  To: survivors' reminiscences about Austin Ghetto Daze in the 60s 
  Sent: Tuesday, January 17, 2006 11:59 PM
  Subject: Re: [AGL] UnHappy Trials?...KD


  Kathy,
  I was not the first to mention dietary concerns. You might write to Gerry as well. He was pretty emphatic about it. There was research that found that overeating beats out smoking as a cause of early death.

  I was responding to Travis' query as to whether or not anyone saw it coming. I believe that I did and I had shared my concern with Clark himself. 

  I appreciated Clark for all the things you did, and said so. 

  I didn't say that colon cancer is what he died of, even though he had undergone an operation for it while he was hospitalized. It was reportedly determined that it hadn't metastasized as the "good news." 

  For all we know he could have succumbed because he was hospitalized. I don't know, nor do I pretend to. Death is a mysterious process and invariably involve s cardiac arrest, the cause that Connie initially mentioned. 

  I take issue with your judgment of my musings as childish or self righteous. BTW there is research supporting the finding that negative affect and emotional repression do put health in jeopardy and slows healing. 

  Like those people on the Titanic, we never know when our end will come.
  Frances

  kathy doyle <kdoyle1 at austin.rr.com> wrote:
    Francis,
    I would like to remind you that Clark did not die of colon cancer, he 
    died of pneumonia. So maybe if he just washed his hands more, or used 
    a better soap he would be alive? True, he did not have the diet you 
    subscribe too, and it may have contributed to his tumor; however many 
    people, my fa ther and grandfather, among them, are big meat and 
    potatoes and fat eaters, and live healthy lives into their '80's, and 
    never develop cancer. And then there's Adelle Davis who ate all 
    healthy and died of cancer fairly young any way. Clark lived life big, 
    with joy and enthusiasm, and generosity of spirit and I find that 
    supremely healthy.
    To me, the tendency to be self righteous and "blame the victim" when 
    someone dies, is a childish way of trying to ward off the boogey man, 
    to put a safety shield between us and our own death, our own fear and 
    maybe even our own grief. To prove WE can outsmart death. It is futile 
    to blame the victim as way to insure ourselves against death and 
    insensitive and unkind to the deceased, and the survivors. Even if you 
    are right and can exactly pinpoint the steak that started it all, or 
    the piece of broccoli left on his plate in "93 that spelled his doom in 
    '06, I still think it is best left unsaid and unwritten. Because the 
    bottom line is, he's still dead and it sucks.

    Kathy,
    ( who is sick of hearing people giving her ridiculous reasons for why 
    her (ex) husband is dead- the worst being "he thought negative")

    On Jan 17, 2006, at 9:00 PM, Frances Morey wrote:

    > Travis,
    > I saw it coming. Clark was an unreconstructed carnivore, eating mostly 
    > meat, most of of the time, and typically more than enough all the 
    > time. All-you-can-eat bar-be-cue was his favorite venue. I tried to 
    > talk him out of it and he wouldn't hear of it. John Wayne, another 
    > colon cancer victim, also acted as though meat was the sine qua non of 
    > food.
    >  
    > One Thanksgiving in Real de Catorce, I think it was '03, Clark and I 
    > walked back to our hotels after one of a half dozen parties. There is 
    > no level ground and our path was upgrade all the way. He had to stop 
    > and catch his breath about every ten steps. I was barely breathing 
    > hard, compared to his panting. 
    >  
    > I estimate that he was at least 60 pounds overweight 
    > then--transporting that much excess, like having a 60 pound bag of 
    > corn strapped to his back, 24-7. The stress of that ought to make the 
    > pleasure of overeating pale, yet some are not able to make 
    > the connection.
    >  
    > The first time I met Clark was at a party in my neighborhood when I 
    > lived at the corner of W. 22 1/2 and Pearl, newly married. The party 
    > over on 23rd Street was so over-the-top-wild that it could be heard a 
    > block away and becconed our attendance. 
    >  
    > Unlike the typical ghetto party of the times there were lots of kegs, 
    > bottles of booze, highly amplified live rock music and motorcycles 
    > roaring through the house. I had to know who was behind this shadow 
    > precurssor of Animal House, and lo and behold, Clark was host.
    >  
    > I wondered who had put up the moolah to throw such a high 
    > dollar shindig. It turned out that Clark had been given $1,500, quite 
    > a chunk of change in the '60s, by developers who were consolidating 
    > land for Tri Towers North. The money was intended to finance 
    > throwing the wildest party ever imagined in all of West Campus. 
    >  
    > The dies ex machina was that it would persuade Dr. Moore to sell out. 
    > He was none other than the extremely biggoted math professor for whom 
    > the Robert Lee Moore hall on campus is named. The gambit didn't work 
    > and the development domino effect stopped in it's tracks, at Dr. 
    > Moore's house.
    >  
    > Nevermind the results--these kinds of bold brash highjinks were the 
    > embodyment of Clark. He was master of machinations for setting up 
    > memorable good times, perhaps second only to the highjinks of Travis 
    > Rivers. I found that Austin boys always had special accumen in the 
    > business of trumping fun. Over the ages and stages we went through, 
    > Clark gave me a thousand smiles.
    >  
    > Best,
    > Frances Morey
    >  
    >  
    >  
    > Note to Harry: You may forward this to the ghetto2, if you like. Since 
    > I got the new ISP, NetZero, I can't figure out how to send outgoing 
    > mail.
    >  
    >   

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