Fwd: A new classification scheme for computer viruses

[Clark Santos]

Begin forwarded message:

As a public service, I thought that I should
make you aware of some new computer viruses
alleged to be going around:



The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to

     keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides

     of the disk and causes little purple hearts

     to appear on screen.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard

     Drive with NO memory.

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just

     keep counting and re-counting.

The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out

     of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out

     of your computer, then e-mails everyone

     about what it did.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates

     some files, leaves, but will be back.

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive

     shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to

     re-stabilize around 350 GB.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer

     be inserted.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM,

     but your processor doesn't care.

The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor

     files

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard

     drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then

     discards it through Windows