resume

[Harry Edwards]

This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available next 
January, and is willing to relocate..



CURRICULUM VITAE

GEORGE W. BUSH

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, DC 20520



EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:



Law Enforcement: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for 
driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, & 
had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record 
has been "lost" and is not available.



Military: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I 
refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. 
By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat 
duty in Vietnam.



College: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a 
cheerleader.



  PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:



I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.



I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I 
bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company 
went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.



I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took 
land using taxpayer money.



With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry 
(including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.



ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:



I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making 
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston 
replaced Los Angeles as the most smog ridden city in America.



I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions 
in borrowed money.



I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American 
history.



With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's 
appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by 
over 500,000 votes.



ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:



I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a 
criminal record.



I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one 
billion dollars per week.



I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.



I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.



I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 
12month period.



I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12month period.



I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the 
U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans 
lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.



I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any 
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza 
Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.



I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. 
President.



I am the all-time U.S. and world record holder for receiving the most 
corporate campaign donations.



My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, 
Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in 
U.S. History, Enron.



My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to 
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election 
decision.



I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against 
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent 
investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent 
investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.



I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused 
to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.



I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.



I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded 
government contracts.



I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any 
President in U.S. history.



I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in 
the history of the United States government.



I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. 
history.



I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations 
remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.



I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.



I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" 
detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.



I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election 
inspectors (during the 2002 ! U.S. election).



I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any 
President since the advent of television.



I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year 
period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over 
the worst security failure in U.S. history.



I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade 
Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated 
country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world 
history.



I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to 
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), 
shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of 
mankind.



I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre 
emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did 
so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. 
citizens, and the world community



I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in 
duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.



In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for 
attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.



I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans 
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and 
security.



I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a 
WMD.



I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to 
justice.



RECORDS AND REFERENCES:



All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's 
library, sealed and unavailable for public view.



All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my 
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public 
view.



All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice President, 
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and 
unavailable for public review.





PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004!

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW!





________________________________________




  'A people living under the perpetual menace of war and invasion is very
  easy to govern. It demands no social reforms. It does not haggle over
  expenditures on armaments and military equipment.