Byron Marshall the comic genius of Pineville, Louisiana pens a long long
spritz
Forrest Gunter
austin-ghetto-list@pairlist.net
Mon Mar 22 09:56:31 2004
So what's M. Mann saying in "Blinded By the Light"?
>From: "Michael Eisenstadt" <michaele@ando.pair.com>
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>Subject: Byron Marshall the comic genius of Pineville, Louisiana pens a
>long long spritz Date: Sat, 20 Mar 2004 20:18:59 -0600
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>FILETIME=[1924C4C0:01C40EEB]
>
>==================================================
>
> MOIRE ON THE SURGE FOR THE HOLY FRAIL
>
>==================================================
>
>Responding to my exciting report, A Matter of Great
>Moment (itself in response to Aram's profoundly
>unsettling revelation that he can't understand
>English) I've received a number of comments. Not all
>of them kind. No wait, that was the one in response to
>my essay that George Doubleneck Glebe was one of the
>great art singers of the 18th century.
>
>You may recall that I quoted from my Nobel Prize
>winning research on the previously unrecognized fact
>that Swedes cannot understand Swedish, and
>communicate, to the extent they do, through a form of
>telepathy.
>
>Some objected that my portrayal of Swedes was unkind.
>Others objected that my portrayal of Swedes was
>insufficiently unkind.
>
>Wait, those were both from the same person! Bruce W.
>explains that he is part Swede. But as Robert Lewis
>Stevenson said on a related matter, which part?
>
>Others reflected on things that in their own lives
>they have never understood.
>
>For example, Einstein wrote me a short note on the
>Universe. Schoenberg on functional harmony.
>
>And I received a brief email from one Samuel Clemens,
>who said he had never understood the weather. Him and
>all the American Meterology Society, the organization
>of Downtown Parking Attendants.
>
>He's not the only one. I was just looking at the
>weather highs and lows for Spring in the region I live
>in. In the sixties there was the lowest low, a chilly
>mnus 22 degrees (possible typo there, unless I'm
>living in Mars. Which maybe I am.) In the 30s was the
>maximum high, a broiling 92 degrees. This clearly
>establishes the thesis of Global Warming, or my name
>isn't John Prine.
>
>==================================================
>Here are some other comments:
>
>Micheal Emy. sent comments detailing the inability of
>anyone he knows to speak clearly, thus putting him in
>the same camp as Aram.
>
>Michael of Austin the Centre of the Blues Scene
>comments on my comments concerning the confused words
>in Wildwood Powder, the great Clatter Family song.
>
>He says the line in the song is:
>
><<
>the pale and the leader
> >>
>
>And elucidates:
>
><<
>I believe the original reads "the pale
>oleander" (flowers are white, and
>extremely poisonous) -- oleander=man killer in Greek.
> >>
>
>And adds,
>
><<
>Rosewood Casket is example of turn of the century
>art song which went down market into the folk.
> >>
>
>
>As mentioned, Bruce W. said:
>
><<
>I ARE A SWEDE, and I am deeply
>offended by your pointing out the truth about our
>so-called communication system. :-)
> >>
>
>He later said he wasn't all THAT offended.
>
>He adds
>
><<
>Swedes really aren't "into" verbal communication, as
>far as I can tell.
> >>
>
>and adds
>
><<
>There's SOoooo much material there!
> >>
>
>About which see the final comments from Kurt.
>
>
>
>Kurt of Kanada (a province of Japan; it is here where
>roams the famous Kanada Lagun) says:
>
><<
>[Do you recall the discussion of] "Secret Asian Man."
>I believe it was started by Les ... who stated that in
>the Johnny River's song "Secret AGENT Man," he'd
>always understood it as "Secret ASIAN Man."
> >>
>
>It's NOT Secret Asian Man?
>
>Then what WAS the great Patrick McGoohan referring to
>when he looked at that bicycle and said, ... looks
>asian to me.
>
>Kurt has a vast recollection of songs he never heard
>correctly.
>
><<
>I used to love the BeeGees and in their hit song "To
>Love Somebody" I always heard "... in my beret"
> >>
>
>Which is hard to top.
>
>
>He then makes a very important contribution on
>Swedish, reflecting directly on my Noble Prize winning
>research.
>
>He says, and perhaps more correctly than he realizes,
>
><<
>PS I always think of Swedish as being the European
>language that is closest to Chinese. Very
>sing-songish. It's amazing how it sounds so unlike
>English, German, Norwegian or Danish ...
> >>
>
>Yes, Kurt is right. Recent ethnological research has
>turned up (discoveries in a series of barrow-mounds
>near Uppsula) significant evidence. Analysis has
>corroborated this finding, and it is now clear that
>three thousand years ago a tribe of Chinese moved into
>Scandanavia and settled in the region now known as
>Sweden (cognate to the Chinese word which means "chop
>stick.") These people were, naturally, genetically
>wired to speak Chinese. Instead, they found themselves
>adopting the Scandanavian language of their
>surroundings (and superiors), the Norwegians, Danes,
>and Armadillos.
>
>This has been offered as evidence by no less than
>Professor E. Beaverboard for the problems of the
>Swedes in communicating, and the decay of their
>version of Scandanavian to the peculiar, and useless,
>dialect that it is today. And sing-songy, yes. Very
>much so. Very much yes. True indeed. Odd, isn't it? It
>seems odd to me. It really seems odd to the Swedes.
>
>Conclusive proof may have been turned up in 1992 when
>a Swedish child was brought up in Saigon by North
>Korean parents. The child had no trouble speaking (a
>dialect of Russian.) If only the child had been
>brought up by Italian parents in the Bisque country of
>Argentina.
>
>Thank you, Kurt. I'll mention you in my next paper.
>
>Just don't get me started on Finnish!
>
>
>Finally,
>
>Jeanann kindly comments,
>
><<
>Great discussion
>
>JA
>
> >>
>
>Now what language is THAT? Oh, those are Jeanann's
>initials.
>
>Thanks, Jeanann!
>
>:-)
>
>===================================================
>Finally, from friend David B., comes the following,
>what you have all been waiting for -- the story of
>
> ** MONDEGREEN **
>
>===================================================
>
>Subject: Re: A Matter of Great Moment
>To: byron@byronmarshall.com
>
>Dave, of San Francisco, says:
>
><<
>A) Everyone has trouble making heard words into sense.
>
> >>
>
>Yes, David, but some of us have trouble making sense
>out of words we can't hear.
>
>Dave adds
>
><<
>B) It's easier if you can see the lips of the
>speaker--and therefore harder when you're hearing a
>recording.
> >>
>
>Sorry, my name isn't HAL. This observation is only
>true if you're a computer. And a fictional one, at
>that.
>
>
>Then Dave adds the following, really valuable part of
>his letter:
>
>==================================================
> VALUABLE PART OF DAVID'S LETTER
>==================================================
>
>Dave says:
>
><<
>Let me introduce you to the word "mondegreen"--which
>is what you think you hear rather than what the singer
>is really singing.
>
>The great scholar of Mondegreens is Jon Carroll, a
>marvellous columnist for the S.F. Chronicle. Some of
>his work on this topic can be found at:
>
>http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/carroll/mondegreens.shtml
>
>I hope you'll follow links to read his other work.
>We've met him and like him. He wrote two columns
>about Sara Linnie once upon a time.
>
>David
> >>
>
>===================================================
>Yes!
>
>Having taken a quick look at the site, I'll second
>this, and alert everyone to this new word:
>
> Mondegreen
>
>===================================================
> A BIRD ROUGH SNOWING: MONDEGREEN
>===================================================
>
>I'll echo Dave.
>
>I urge you all to go to the website.
>
>It's quite charming (btw, Collins attributes the word
>to a writer named Sylvia Wright ... assuming he heard
>her name right.)
>
>I leave it to you to discover the origin of mondegreen
>itself.
>
>Or you can find it in the following, 'introduction to
>Mondegreen', in the Jon Carroll column on the
>mondegreen website.
>
>:-)
>
>Thanks Dave.
>
>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
>
>===================================================
> MONDEGREEN 101.B
> AN INTRODUCTION TO MONDEGREEN
>===================================================
>
>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
>
>Jon Carroll
>
>http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/carroll/mondegreens.shtml
>
>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
>
> Mondegreens Ripped My Flesh
> ...........................
>
> by Jon Carroll
>
>Here at the Center for the Humane Study of
>Mondegreens, we've been toting up the entries and
>applying the latest statistical correlative methods,
>even using our toes, to arrive at a semi-definitive
>answer.
>
>We believe that the most frequently submitted
>Mondegreen is still "Gladly, the cross-eyed bear"
>(known in the real world as that fine old hymn "Gladly
>The Cross I'd Bear"). A close second is "There's a
>bathroom on the right," a mishearing of "There's a bad
>moon on the rise" from the old Creedence Clearwater
>song "Bad Moon Rising."
>
>Third place is still firmly held by "Excuse me while I
>kiss this guy," actually "Excuse me while I kiss the
>sky" from the Jimi Hendrix song "Purple Haze." Mr.
>Hendrix was himself aware that he had been
>Mondegreened, and would occasionally, in performance,
>actually kiss a guy after saying that line.
>
>Fourth place is probably occupied by Round John
>Virgin, a Shakespearean figure occasionally found in
>"Silent Night." Also high on the charts is a
>Mondegreen from "Groovin'", a popular song of an
>earlier era. (Kids, "groovin'" was kind of like
>"chillin'" except the clothing fit more tightly).
>
>In that song, the Rascals were singing "You and me
>endlessly," but many people heard "You and me and
>Leslie," leading to speculation about the exact
>identity of Leslie and the popularity of multiple
>couplings in the music world.
>
>For those of you who have not yet received the
>pamphlet (mailed free to anyone who buys me an
>automobile), the word Mondegreen, meaning a mishearing
>of a popular phrase or song lyric, was coined by the
>writer Sylvia Wright.
>
>As a child she had heard the Scottish ballad "The
>Bonny Earl of Murray" and had believed that one stanza
>went like this:
>
>Ye Highlands and Ye Lowlands
>Oh where hae you been?
>They hae slay the Earl of Murray,
>And Lady Mondegreen.
>
>Poor Lady Mondegreen, thought Sylvia Wright. A tragic
>heroine dying with her liege; how poetic. When it
>turned out, some years later, that what they had
>actually done was slay the Earl of Murray and lay him
>on the green, Wright was so distraught by the sudden
>disappearance of her heroine that she memorialized her
>with a neologism.
>
>This space has been for some years the chief publicity
>agent for Mondegreens. The Oxford English Dictionary
>has not yet seen the light, but it will, it will.
>
>The pledge of allegiance is such a hotbed of
>Mondegreens that one could create a composite of
>submitted entries: "I pledge a lesion to the flag, of
>the United State of America, and to the republic for
>Richard Stans, one naked individual, with liver tea
>and just this for all."
>
>This formulation is elderly enough to have predated
>"under God," which is just as well; it would be a
>shame to lose "one naked individual."
>
>There are Mondegreens in familiar phrases. A friend of
>Adair Lara's believed for years that we live in a
>"doggy dog world" populated by pushy people with a "no
>holes barred" attitude, while a friend of Carolyn
>Stone's believed that World War II was fought between
>the Zees and the Not Zees.
>
>B. Young was charmed to hear that both Coke and Pepsi
>came in "cheerleader size." Later, he was disappointed
>to learn that it was actually "two litre size."
>Florence Jarreth was interested in the new "Jeep
>Parakeet," but less interested in the new "Jeep
>Cherokee."
>
>James Lauder recounted the story of the pet shop clerk
>who told him, in all seriousness, that her parents'
>wealth did them no good at all because they just sat
>around their backyard deck in Marin and "drank
>themselves to Bolivia."
>
>Geoffrey Gould's mother was convinced that if, say,
>you were moving a vase to a high shelf because small
>children were about to come over, you were moving said
>vase "out of arm's sway." Stephanie von Buchau always
>believed, correctly, I should think, that "a soft
>dancer turneth away wrath."
>
>But the overwhelming majority of Mondegreens come from
>song lyrics. Remember on the East Side and the West
>Side when me and Mamie O'Rourke "risked our lives in
>traffic"? Remember when Simon and Garfunkel sang
>hauntingly about how "partially saved was Mary and
>Tom"? Remember that touching moment in "I'm in the
>Mood for Love" when the singer reveals his favorite
>nickname for his beloved?
>
>I'm in the mood for love,
>Simply because you're near me,
>Funny Butt, when you're near me ...
>
>
>There was the Bob Dylan song with the memorable
>refrain: "Dead ants are my friends, they're blowin' in
>the wind." There was the great Crystal Gayle song
>"Doughnuts Make Your Brown Eyes Blue." There was the
>equally wonderful Maria Muldaur song "Midnight After
>You're Wasted."
>
>Val Kruger heard Jose Feliciano's famous recording of
>"Feliz Navidad" as "Police naughty dog," and now so
>will you. Barry McCarthy mentioned another popular
>Spanish song, "One Ton Tomato." Melissa McChesney
>always heard "My baby likes the Western movies" as "My
>baby's like a wet sock moving."
>
>Two great Paul McCartney Mondegreens: The lines of
>French in "Michelle" were heard by Kathy Stawhorn's
>daughter as "Michelle, ma bell, Sunday monkey won't
>play piano song, play piano song." Several people have
>heard the line in "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" that
>goes "the girl with kaleidoscope eyes" as "the girl
>with colitis goes by."
>
>There are many more; many more -- I have envelopes
>stuffed with them. But our eyes grow weary and our
>stomachs grow hungry; we must now, in the words of the
>old Christmas carol, "sleep in heavenly peas."
>
>====================================================
>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
>====================================================
>
>
>===================================================
>
>
>
>
>
>
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