Darwin awards.... the latest! 2003!
Frances Morey
frances_morey@yahoo.com
Sat Jan 31 11:22:01 2004
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> Darwin Awards 2003 Yes, it's the one we've all been waiting for . . .
the
> Darwin Award 2003. The candidates have finally been released! For
those
not
> familiar with the Darwin Award, It's an annual honor given to the
People
who
> provided the Universal human gene pool the biggest service by getting
KILLED
> in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition again
this
> year has been keen. DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES:
>
> * In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta,
> 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning
a tie
> in the game of chicken they were playing with their Snowmobiles.
>
> * In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in
two
> feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide
sewer
grate
> to retrieve his car keys.
>
> * In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally
zoned
> when he ran, " accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his
daily
> run.
>
> * Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had
dug
into
> the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones,
> 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been
sitting
> in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed,
burying
> him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks,
used
> their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a
resident of
> Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using
heavy
> equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked
on.
Jones
> was pronounced dead at a hospital.
>
> * In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he
fell
> face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarizing.
Death
> was c aused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to
keep
his
> hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
>
> * According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20,
was
> stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who
was
> trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest
Berrena was
> wearing.
>
> * Sylvester Briddell, Jr. , 26, was killed in February in Selbyville,
Del,
> as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver
loaded
> with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
>
> DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS
>
> * In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede
with
a
> shot from his 22 caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock
near
> the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his
skull.
>
> * In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out
> cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a
propane
torch
> and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his
house.
>
> * Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and his
wife
> Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in
their
> car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite
and
> tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but
apparently
> failed to notice the window was closed.
>
> RUNNER UP. . . .
>
> TACOMA, WA
>
> Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them
said
> they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows
Bridge in
> the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least
10
men
> trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4: 30 am. Upon arrival at
the
> midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a
bungee
> rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed
out
that
> a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was
secured
> around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His
fall
> lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at
the
> ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and
was
> rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say "said Bingham, "is
that
God
> was watching out for me on that night. " "There's just no other
explanation
> for it. " Bingham's foot was never located.
>
> AND THE WINNER. . . .
>
> PADERBORN, GERMANY
>
> Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated
elephant
> Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries,
figs
> and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and
> suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
>
> Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing
> elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him.
"The
> sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
Riesfeldt
to
> the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as
the
> elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said
flabbergasted
> Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. 'with no one there to help him,
he
lay
> under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came
along, and
> during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those
freak
> accidents that "Shit happens. "
>
>
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<DIV><BR>> Darwin Awards 2003 Yes, it's the one we've all been waiting for . . . <BR>the<BR>> Darwin Award 2003. The candidates have finally been released! For <BR>those<BR>not<BR>> familiar with the Darwin Award, It's an annual honor given to the <BR>People<BR>who<BR>> provided the Universal human gene pool the biggest service by getting<BR>KILLED<BR>> in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition again <BR>this<BR>> year has been keen. DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES:<BR>><BR>> * In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta,<BR>> 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning <BR>a tie<BR>> in the game of chicken they were playing with their Snowmobiles.<BR>><BR>> * In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in <BR>two<BR>> feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide <BR>sewer<BR>grate<BR>> to retrieve his car keys.<BR>><BR>> *
In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally <BR>zoned<BR>> when he ran, " accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his <BR>daily<BR>> run.<BR>><BR>> * Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had <BR>dug<BR>into<BR>> the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones,<BR>> 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been<BR>sitting<BR>> in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed,<BR>burying<BR>> him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, <BR>used<BR>> their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a <BR>resident of<BR>> Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using<BR>heavy<BR>> equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked <BR>on.<BR>Jones<BR>> was pronounced dead at a hospital.<BR>><BR>> * In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc,
CA, as he <BR>fell<BR>> face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarizing. <BR>Death<BR>> was c aused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to <BR>keep<BR>his<BR>> hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.<BR>><BR>> * According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, <BR>was<BR>> stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who <BR>was<BR>> trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest <BR>Berrena was<BR>> wearing.<BR>><BR>> * Sylvester Briddell, Jr. , 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, <BR>Del,<BR>> as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver <BR>loaded<BR>> with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.<BR>><BR>> DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS<BR>><BR>> * In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede <BR>with<BR>a<BR>> shot from his 22 caliber rifle, but the
bullet ricocheted off a rock <BR>near<BR>> the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his <BR>skull.<BR>><BR>> * In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out<BR>> cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a <BR>propane<BR>torch<BR>> and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his <BR>house.<BR>><BR>> * Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and his <BR>wife<BR>> Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in <BR>their<BR>> car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite <BR>and<BR>> tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but <BR>apparently<BR>> failed to notice the window was closed.<BR>><BR>> RUNNER UP. . . .<BR>><BR>> TACOMA, WA<BR>><BR>> Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them <BR>said<BR>> they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the
Tacoma Narrows <BR>Bridge in<BR>> the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least <BR>10<BR>men<BR>> trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4: 30 am. Upon arrival at <BR>the<BR>> midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a <BR>bungee<BR>> rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed <BR>out<BR>that<BR>> a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was <BR>secured<BR>> around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His <BR>fall<BR>> lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at <BR>the<BR>> ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and <BR>was<BR>> rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say "said Bingham, "is <BR>that<BR>God<BR>> was watching out for me on that night. " "There's just no other<BR>explanation<BR>> for it. " Bingham's foot was never located.<BR>><BR>> AND THE WINNER. . .
.<BR>><BR>> PADERBORN, GERMANY<BR>><BR>> Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated <BR>elephant<BR>> Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, <BR>figs<BR>> and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and<BR>> suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!<BR>><BR>> Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the<BR>ailing<BR>> elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. <BR>"The<BR>> sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. <BR>Riesfeldt<BR>to<BR>> the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as <BR>the<BR>> elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said<BR>flabbergasted<BR>> Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. 'with no one there to help him, <BR>he<BR>lay<BR>> under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came <BR>along, and<BR>> during that time
he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those <BR>freak<BR>> accidents that "Shit happens. "<BR>><BR>><BR></DIV><p><hr SIZE=1>
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