[Austin-ghetto-list] strange states

EarthAnjel@aol.com EarthAnjel@aol.com
Sat, 29 Sep 2001 09:55:35 EDT


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Oh, Stephanie, I do hope you don't leave us.  Your thoughts, comments, 
questions are valuable to us.  You are not alone.  Yes, I am still in a state 
of shock, as are Fontaine and Judith and others, too, I am sure.  I feel that 
I exist in the middle of some kind of whirl of thoughts, feelings, 
events......shaky ground, indeed.  It is a feeling much akin to my state of 
being after my son, Christian, left his physical body.....a dazed state, 
endeavoring to comprehend the enormity, the reality of what happened 

Never on this side of the grave again,
On this side of the river,
On this side of the garner of the grain,
Never.
                                                                   -Christina 
Rosetti

and at the same time, needing to integrate that with daily life......."what, 
exactly, is important now?"  Back then, I would lock onto supper time as an 
anchor....."all right, tonight I must prepare supper, so what will that 
be?"......and then I would back up from there, being exact about what I 
needed to do to prepare supper on time, and then somehow I would work out the 
mechanics of my day.  I find myself in a similar state now.  I am also 
considering what precautionary measures I might need to make as an elder in 
my family and my community (the y2k practice comes in handy now, as a point 
of reference): what stored provisions in case the food supply chain is 
temporarily disrupted, what financial precautionary measures in case the 
economy takes a (further) downturn, what documents to locate and make easily 
accessible, etc., etc.  Is anyone else thinking along these lines?  I believe 
Jim Baldouf is.  Anyone else?  Or any thoughts or reasons not to take 
precautionary measures?  I feel torn between two lines of thought in terms of 
precautionary measure:  on the one hand, I believe that what we prepare for 
is what we create.  On the other hand, I am scared shitless...er...I mean, I 
am sore afraid and RL and I are the ones the young folk and ancient ones will 
come to for support and I want to be prepared.  ::sigh::

But, back to the main reason for this posting:  love and appreciation to 
Stephanie and feelings of gladness that you have slept well recently and are 
still in touch with the love that flows through all this and gives me 
strength and succor.

"We shall find peace. We shall hear the angels.  We shall see the sky 
sparkling with diamonds." Chekov


Sending warm regards to all, and wondering what I'm going to prepare for 
supper tonight in Folsom,
Carol



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<HTML><FONT FACE=arial,helvetica><FONT  COLOR="#0000ff" SIZE=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF" FACE="Arial Black" LANG="0">Oh, Stephanie, I do hope you don't leave us. &nbsp;Your thoughts, comments, questions are valuable to us. &nbsp;You are not alone. &nbsp;Yes, I am still in a state of shock, as are Fontaine and Judith and others, too, I am sure. &nbsp;I feel that I exist in the middle of some kind of whirl of thoughts, feelings, events......shaky ground, indeed. &nbsp;It is a feeling much akin to my state of being after my son, Christian, left his physical body.....a dazed state, endeavoring to comprehend the enormity, the reality of what happened 
<BR>
<BR><P ALIGN=CENTER>Never on this side of the grave again,
<BR>On this side of the river,
<BR>On this side of the garner of the grain,
<BR>Never.
<BR><P ALIGN=LEFT> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;-Christina Rosetti
<BR>
<BR>and at the same time, needing to integrate that with daily life......."what, exactly, is important now?" &nbsp;Back then, I would lock onto supper time as an anchor....."all right, tonight I must prepare supper, so what will that be?"......and then I would back up from there, being exact about what I needed to do to prepare supper on time, and then somehow I would work out the mechanics of my day. &nbsp;I find myself in a similar state now. &nbsp;I am also considering what precautionary measures I might need to make as an elder in my family and my community (the y2k practice comes in handy now, as a point of reference): what stored provisions in case the food supply chain is temporarily disrupted, what financial precautionary measures in case the economy takes a (further) downturn, what documents to locate and make easily accessible, etc., etc. &nbsp;Is anyone else thinking along these lines? &nbsp;I believe Jim Baldouf is. &nbsp;Anyone else? &nbsp;Or any thoughts or reasons not to take precautionary measures? &nbsp;I feel torn between two lines of thought in terms of precautionary measure: &nbsp;on the one hand, I believe that what we prepare for is what we create. &nbsp;On the other hand, I am scared shitless...er...I mean, I am sore afraid and RL and I are the ones the young folk and ancient ones will come to for support and I want to be prepared. &nbsp;::sigh::
<BR>
<BR>But, back to the main reason for this posting: &nbsp;love and appreciation to Stephanie and feelings of gladness that you have slept well recently and are still in touch with the love that flows through all this and gives me strength and succor.
<BR>
<BR>"We shall find peace. We shall hear the angels. &nbsp;We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds." Chekov<B><U>
<BR></B></U>
<BR>
<BR>Sending warm regards to all, and wondering what I'm going to prepare for supper tonight in Folsom,
<BR>Carol
<BR>
<BR></P></P></FONT></HTML>

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