Cow politics

[Roger Baker]

 > ....A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your=20=

neighbor.

 > ....A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and =
gives=20
it to your neighbor.

 > ....A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

 > ....A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows.=A0 Your neighbor has none.=A0 You =
feel=20
guilty for being successful.=A0 You vote people into office who tax your=20=

cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people=20=

you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your=20=

neighbor.=A0 You feel righteous.

 > ....A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and=20
provides you with milk.

 > ....A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and =
sells=20
you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

 > ....DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government =
taxes=20
you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign=20
country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

 > ....CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy =
a=20
bull, and build a herd of cows.

 > ....BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government=20
takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk,=20
then pours the milk down the drain.

 > ....AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and=20
force the other to produce the milk=A0 of four cows. You are surprised=20=

when the cow drops dead.

 > ....A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because=20=

you want three cows.

 > ....A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so=20=

they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times=20=

the milk.

 > ....A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so=20=

they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

 > ....AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know =
where=20
they are. You break for lunch.

 > ....A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and =
learn=20
you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You=20=

count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and=20=

open another bottle=A0 of vodka.

 > ....A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you don't=20=

know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

 > ....A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to=20=

you. You charge for storing them for others.

 > ....A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a=20
partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and=20
the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

 > ....AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

 > ....A TALIBAN You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan=20
"countryside" and they both die. You blame the godless American =
infidels.