more nuts than you...

[Robert Simmons]

I pass this on with no further comment.


Telebob

>>This is a post from a CNN message board: Orion
Ramsey - Friday, 
>>09/21/01, 2:35:00pm (#58980 of 58989) 
>> 
To those extremists that perpetrated this crime
against our nation, I have a warning for you. There
are those of us who look at your actions as
irrational, twisted, and completely inhuman. By all
measures, what you have done can only be seen as
insane. I have news for you. We're more nuts than you,
and it should scare you shitless. 

You may think that when you die for your cause, you go
to Paradise with 72 virgins, can leave reservations
for 70 members of your family, all your sins are
forgiven, and you sit at the side of Allah. 
Big deal. We had 39 guys who rented a Beverly Hills
mansion, cut off their nuts, built a web site, and
proceeded to poison themselves to death to hitch a
ride with aliens out on the Hale-Bopp comet. 

You shoot guns into the sky to celebrate victories
over enemies, and people are killed by the bullets
raining down on them. We not only do this for New
Year's Eve in some cities, but we burn houses down,
tear up streets, loot and sack our stores, and beat
ourselves senseless when our sports teams win
championships.
 
Sports teams! We made a sequel to Police Academy 5. We
gave an award for singing to two guys who never even
sang. We put little sweaters on dogs. We shot John
Lennon six times and didn't even aim for Yoko Ono. We
think Elvis is still alive. We put Braille on drive-up
automatic teller machines. We think that a simple
button on a web site that says "Do not click if you're
under 21" will do anything but cause a person 
under 21 to click on it. We take a large chunk of the
island on which those buildings you destroyed sat and
pretend that it isn't a part of our country after all,
let people fly into our airports that we want to kill,
drive them in limousines to speak against us on this
"pretend territory" land, let them drive back to our
airport, and let them fly them back home without a
scratch. We sell hot dogs in packages of ten and the
buns in packages of eight. We can't even decide if
pitchers should have to bat for themselves or not. All
those baseball fields we've got. And none of them are
even remotely the same size. 

We gave millions of dollars to a guy that told us that
God was going to kill him if he didn't raise enough
money. When he didn't get enough money, he didn't die.
So we gave him more money in celebration of the 
fact that God didn't make him die. We've managed to
keep the formulas for Coca-Cola and Kentucky Fried
Chicken secret for decades, we encrypt the most banal
communications on our Information Superhighway, and
yet we given away our most important nuclear secrets
to the Chinese and Russians at the drop of a hat. And
yet, with all this on the A-1 Psycho balance sheet,
you still think you're more nuts than us that this
won't result in your complete and utter annihilation?
One way or another, your way of life will be over,
period. 

Freedom's kind of a crazy, kooky, nutty thing when you
look really close at it and all the bizarre and loony
things that can result from it, but it's better than
any other ideas anybody else has come up with. It's
been that way since 1776, and built to last no matter
how insanely we try to screw it up on a daily basis.
We are even so nuts and ruthless enough as a nation to
start insanely tearing at those of ourselves that even
remotely resemble you in such rancorous, deplorable,
and angry ways that will make you wonder if Allah has
enough glue to piece enough of you back together for a
flesh paperweight in Paradise. 

We may not know where you are now, but when we do I
guarantee you that the majority of our high school
children will still have no idea where on the globe
where you are or where you will end up being buried.
But we will send them anyway, and we will allow those
of them that went into the armed services because they
didn't manage to get into college *still* rain down
Hell and fire on your worthless hides. It will all 
come down on you, because we're nuts enough to give
all four of our branches of military services
extremely powerful and deadly aircraft even though
only one of them is actually called the Air Force.
Picking a fight with the most insane nation on Earth
with the hope that your message and influence will
spread throughout the world, well, that's just
downright stupid. 




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