Important question...men only

[Jon Ford]

All this penis sheath stuff puts me in mind of Melville's "Moby Dick."
(no pun intended!)  Melville gives us insights into the ritual involved in 
cooking the sperm oil out of little chunks of "minced blubber." The mincer 
in chief would cloak himself in a penis sheath cut from the rod of a mighty 
whale--he would cut out arm-holes for himself and wear it like a priest's 
sacred garment as he chopped up the blubber into small chunks and tossed in 
the bubbling mincing cauldrons on deck. There is a bit of this ritual 
cloaking involved in modern war--mighty phallic stuff, I'd say. If you 
haven't read "Moby Dick" in a few decades, give it another chance-- you will 
be impressed.

Jon


>From: "telebob x" <telebob98@hotmail.com>
>To: austin-ghetto-list@pairlist.net
>Subject: Re: Important question...men only
>Date: Sun, 28 Oct 2001 00:59:22 +0000
>
>Don't you remember Eldridge Cleaver's famous stint as a clothing designer?
>He designed a pair of pants with a penis tube dangling on the front where
>the fly usually is?  Perhaps this is the genesis?
>
>
>
>
>>From: "Wayne Johnson" <cadaobh2@brgnet.com>
>>To: <austin-ghetto-list@pairlist.net>
>>Subject: Important question...men only
>>Date: Sat, 27 Oct 2001 20:20:16 -0400
>>
>>From the web, the following:
>>
>>"First we must ask the question, why should a man wear a penis sheath?
>>
>>                    Protection? Then why leave so much of the body naked
>>and
>>unprotected.
>>                    Granted that is a very sensitive place. But, would a
>>sheath made from a
>>                    vegetable shell give that much protection? Also, other
>>tribesmen seem to
>>                    go about with no penis sheaths. Why, it must also be
>>asked, would a gourd
>>                    two feet long be needed when a much smaller gourd may
>>be
>>a bit more
>>                    accomodating? Some have suggested it may be a shame
>>covering. I once
>>                    was in New Guinea.(This sounds like a lymric eh?) And 
>>I
>>propositioned a
>>                    man for his penis sheath. He turned around and affixed
>>another sheath
>>                    before he gave me the one he had been wearing. I think
>>it's just a cool
>>                    thing one can do with their penis and a gourd. It 
>>looks
>>pretty damn cool.
>>                    Ladies and Gentlemen, you must admit, if someone 
>>walked
>>into a room
>>                    wearing a penis sheath, you'd be checkin' it out. Hell
>>yes! Because it's cool
>>                    to walk around with things on yer "Johnson". (has
>>anyone
>>seen those trucks
>>                    driving around town with "Johnson Controls" painted on
>>the side?)
>>
>>                    For centuries men in South America, Africa and New
>>Guinea
>>have been
>>                    sheathing their penis's with gourds. These
>>Phallocrypt's
>>have run the gamut
>>                    though, ranging from bamboo tubes, horns, coconuts,
>>ivory, wood, shells,
>>                    leather, grass or other leaves, nets and cocoons to 
>>the
>>more recent
>>                    flauntings of toothpaste containers, Kodak film cans
>>and
>>even sardine tins.
>>                    Yikes! No matter the reason, Gourds make an attractive
>>covering for a
>>                    man's bitness. So next time yer wondering what to get
>>the
>>man who has
>>                    everything or even the man who has nothing, think
>>penis----penis
>>                    sheath----think gourd. "
>>
>>*************
>>
>>As an avid studier and student of various tribal function around the 
>>world,
>>it is very clear, especially during these troubled times, that the issue 
>>of
>>male penile coverings is one which demands immediate consideration.
>>American men...and possibly Saudi/Egyptian/et al men...should consider
>>these
>>not as being merely "fashion statements" but a necessary addition to both
>>wardrobe and personal hygiene.
>>
>>Therefore, in order to help President Bush in his public pleading for
>>everyone pitching in and helping our economy GROW, I have formed a new
>>business which specializes in this equipment.  Naturally, the use of
>>"organics" is inappropriate for several reasons: one) too unreliable 
>>during
>>winter months; two) too difficult to clean and prepare; three) limited
>>planting space in our garden.  In keeping with the desire to support local
>>business and industry, these sheaths are made from 100% man made 
>>materials.
>>Currently, we are offering three versions, as follows.
>>
>>1.     The Plumber.  This charming model is fashioned from good old
>>reliable
>>PVC.  It comes in basic white which means it can be worn with just about
>>anything!  (Maybe even nothing!)  The PVC can be painted in one of your
>>favorite colors or festooned in red and blue ribbons making you one BIG
>>PATRIOT.   And, of course, for those formal occasions, basic Black.  These
>>are factory determined colors and guaranteed not to, er, run.   Length
>>limited to four feet, no restrictions on diameter.
>>
>>2.    The Warrior.  When you wear this five foot, 6" diameter, stainless
>>steel sheath, no one is going to mess with you!  It comes with a
>>fast-locking mechanism and may be equipped at little extra expense with a
>>number of useful accessories, such as 9mm portals, short-wave radio and, 
>>so
>>you always "know where you are" a 200kw GPS.  Currently, our most Macho
>>version (we call it Big Mike...or maybe it was the Big Mack) has heavily
>>embossed tread pattern all around and battery operated running lights.
>>Your
>>lady friends will certainly want to know more about you when you walk into
>>the local bar packing this load!
>>
>>3.    The Diplomat.  For those with more discerning taste and with the
>>income to support it, we have the Diplomat.  Naturally, it is completely
>>adjustable!  The Diplomat, or Big Brit, as we often call it, is fashioned
>>from full chroma. Uroboros Streamer glass.  It comes in crystal clear, sky
>>blue, golden rod and Wispy White Opal.  You will definitely be the talk of
>>the town when you arrive at the opera sporting a gleaming new Diplomat.  
>>We
>>use only the finest silver solder and all mounting brackets are velveteen
>>lined for your comfort!
>>
>>Our R&D department is busily at work trying new models, including one with
>>a
>>small micro-wave oven.  It should be noted that there are some design
>>related issues that we...and our corporate attorneys...are wrestling with.
>>We are not too proud to admit there have been some problems with Beta
>>testing our latest Diplomat model.  The quick release mechanism has been
>>completely re-engineered and is now provided by a new, more detail 
>>oriented
>>vendor.  For the time being, however, we are advising users to be
>>especially
>>careful when wearing and driving.  (Most steering wheels have adjustable
>>heights, sadly for one of our customers, he locked his Diplomat in and
>>tried
>>to make a U turn on North Royal.  He is no longer in the ICU and thank all
>>of you for your cards and letters.)
>>
>>Freddie $mith
>>CEO
>>PSIndustries
>
>
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