Important question...men only
Wayne Johnson
cadaobh2@brgnet.com
Sat, 27 Oct 2001 20:20:16 -0400
This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
------=_NextPart_000_0006_01C15F24.CB169240
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
>From the web, the following:
"First we must ask the question, why should a man wear a penis sheath?
Protection? Then why leave so much of the body naked and
unprotected.
Granted that is a very sensitive place. But, would a
sheath made from a
vegetable shell give that much protection? Also, other
tribesmen seem to
go about with no penis sheaths. Why, it must also be
asked, would a gourd
two feet long be needed when a much smaller gourd may be
a bit more
accomodating? Some have suggested it may be a shame
covering. I once
was in New Guinea.(This sounds like a lymric eh?) And I
propositioned a
man for his penis sheath. He turned around and affixed
another sheath
before he gave me the one he had been wearing. I think
it's just a cool
thing one can do with their penis and a gourd. It looks
pretty damn cool.
Ladies and Gentlemen, you must admit, if someone walked
into a room
wearing a penis sheath, you'd be checkin' it out. Hell
yes! Because it's cool
to walk around with things on yer "Johnson". (has anyone
seen those trucks
driving around town with "Johnson Controls" painted on
the side?)
For centuries men in South America, Africa and New Guinea
have been
sheathing their penis's with gourds. These Phallocrypt's
have run the gamut
though, ranging from bamboo tubes, horns, coconuts,
ivory, wood, shells,
leather, grass or other leaves, nets and cocoons to the
more recent
flauntings of toothpaste containers, Kodak film cans and
even sardine tins.
Yikes! No matter the reason, Gourds make an attractive
covering for a
man's bitness. So next time yer wondering what to get the
man who has
everything or even the man who has nothing, think
penis----penis
sheath----think gourd. "
*************
As an avid studier and student of various tribal function around the world,
it is very clear, especially during these troubled times, that the issue of
male penile coverings is one which demands immediate consideration.
American men...and possibly Saudi/Egyptian/et al men...should consider these
not as being merely "fashion statements" but a necessary addition to both
wardrobe and personal hygiene.
Therefore, in order to help President Bush in his public pleading for
everyone pitching in and helping our economy GROW, I have formed a new
business which specializes in this equipment. Naturally, the use of
"organics" is inappropriate for several reasons: one) too unreliable during
winter months; two) too difficult to clean and prepare; three) limited
planting space in our garden. In keeping with the desire to support local
business and industry, these sheaths are made from 100% man made materials.
Currently, we are offering three versions, as follows.
1. The Plumber. This charming model is fashioned from good old reliable
PVC. It comes in basic white which means it can be worn with just about
anything! (Maybe even nothing!) The PVC can be painted in one of your
favorite colors or festooned in red and blue ribbons making you one BIG
PATRIOT. And, of course, for those formal occasions, basic Black. These
are factory determined colors and guaranteed not to, er, run. Length
limited to four feet, no restrictions on diameter.
2. The Warrior. When you wear this five foot, 6" diameter, stainless
steel sheath, no one is going to mess with you! It comes with a
fast-locking mechanism and may be equipped at little extra expense with a
number of useful accessories, such as 9mm portals, short-wave radio and, so
you always "know where you are" a 200kw GPS. Currently, our most Macho
version (we call it Big Mike...or maybe it was the Big Mack) has heavily
embossed tread pattern all around and battery operated running lights. Your
lady friends will certainly want to know more about you when you walk into
the local bar packing this load!
3. The Diplomat. For those with more discerning taste and with the
income to support it, we have the Diplomat. Naturally, it is completely
adjustable! The Diplomat, or Big Brit, as we often call it, is fashioned
from full chroma. Uroboros Streamer glass. It comes in crystal clear, sky
blue, golden rod and Wispy White Opal. You will definitely be the talk of
the town when you arrive at the opera sporting a gleaming new Diplomat. We
use only the finest silver solder and all mounting brackets are velveteen
lined for your comfort!
Our R&D department is busily at work trying new models, including one with a
small micro-wave oven. It should be noted that there are some design
related issues that we...and our corporate attorneys...are wrestling with.
We are not too proud to admit there have been some problems with Beta
testing our latest Diplomat model. The quick release mechanism has been
completely re-engineered and is now provided by a new, more detail oriented
vendor. For the time being, however, we are advising users to be especially
careful when wearing and driving. (Most steering wheels have adjustable
heights, sadly for one of our customers, he locked his Diplomat in and tried
to make a U turn on North Royal. He is no longer in the ICU and thank all
of you for your cards and letters.)
Freddie $mith
CEO
PSIndustries
------=_NextPart_000_0006_01C15F24.CB169240
Content-Type: text/html;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML><HEAD>
<META http-equiv=3DContent-Type content=3D"text/html; =
charset=3Diso-8859-1">
<META content=3D"MSHTML 5.50.4134.600" name=3DGENERATOR></HEAD>
<BODY>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif" size=3D2><SPAN =
class=3D370465223-27102001>From the=20
web, the following:</SPAN></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif" size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001>"</SPAN>First we must ask the question, why =
should a=20
man wear a penis sheath?</FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"=20
size=3D2><BR> =
=20
Protection? Then why leave so much of the body naked and=20
unprotected.<BR> &nb=
sp; =20
Granted that is a very sensitive place. But, would a sheath made from=20
a<BR> &n=
bsp; =20
vegetable shell give that much protection? Also, other tribesmen seem=20
to<BR> &=
nbsp; =20
go about with no penis sheaths. Why, it must also be asked, would a=20
gourd<BR> &nbs=
p; =20
two feet long be needed when a much smaller gourd may be a bit=20
more<BR>  =
; =20
accomodating? Some have suggested it may be a shame covering. I=20
once<BR>  =
; =20
was in New Guinea.(This sounds like a lymric eh?) And I propositioned=20
a<BR> &n=
bsp; =20
man for his penis sheath. He turned around and affixed another=20
sheath<BR> &nb=
sp; =20
before he gave me the one he had been wearing. I think it's just a=20
cool<BR>  =
; =20
thing one can do with their penis and a gourd. It looks pretty damn=20
cool.<BR> &nbs=
p; =20
Ladies and Gentlemen, you must admit, if someone walked into a=20
room<BR>  =
; =20
wearing a penis sheath, you'd be checkin' it out. Hell yes! Because it's =
cool<BR>  =
; =20
to walk around with things on yer "Johnson". (has anyone seen those=20
trucks<BR> &nb=
sp; =20
driving around town with "Johnson Controls" painted on the side?) =
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT=20
size=3D2> &nbs=
p; =20
For centuries men in South America, Africa and New Guinea have=20
been<BR>  =
; =20
sheathing their penis's with gourds. These Phallocrypt's have run the=20
gamut<BR> &nbs=
p; =20
though, ranging from bamboo tubes, horns, coconuts, ivory, wood,=20
shells,<BR> &n=
bsp; =20
leather, grass or other leaves, nets and cocoons to the more=20
recent<BR> &nb=
sp; =20
flauntings of toothpaste containers, Kodak film cans and even sardine=20
tins.<BR> &nbs=
p; =20
Yikes! No matter the reason, Gourds make an attractive covering for=20
a<BR> &n=
bsp; =20
man's bitness. So next time yer wondering what to get the man who=20
has<BR> =
=20
everything or even the man who has nothing, think=20
penis----penis<BR> &=
nbsp; =20
sheath----think gourd. <SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001>"</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001>*************</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN =
class=3D370465223-27102001>As=20
an avid studier and student of various tribal function around the world, =
it is=20
very clear, especially during these troubled times, that the issue of =
male=20
penile coverings is one which demands immediate consideration. =
American=20
men...and possibly Saudi/Egyptian/et al men...should consider these not =
as being=20
merely "fashion statements" but a necessary addition to both wardrobe =
and=20
personal hygiene. </SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001>Therefore, in order to help President Bush in =
his=20
public pleading for everyone pitching in and helping our economy GROW, I =
have=20
formed a new business which specializes in this equipment. =
Naturally, the=20
use of "organics" is inappropriate for several reasons: one) too =
unreliable=20
during winter months; two) too difficult to clean and prepare; three) =
limited=20
planting space in our garden. In keeping with the desire to =
support local=20
business and industry, these sheaths are made from 100% man made=20
materials. Currently, we are offering three versions, as=20
follows.</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001>1. The Plumber. =
This=20
charming model is fashioned from good old reliable PVC. It comes =
in basic=20
white which means it can be worn with just about anything! (Maybe =
even=20
nothing!) The PVC can be painted in one of your favorite colors or =
festooned in red and blue ribbons making you one BIG =
PATRIOT. And,=20
of course, for those formal occasions, basic Black. These are =
factory=20
determined colors and guaranteed not to, er, run. Length =
limited to=20
four feet, no restrictions on diameter.</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001>2. The Warrior. When =
you wear=20
this five foot, 6" diameter, stainless steel sheath, no one is going to =
mess=20
with you! It comes with a fast-locking mechanism and may be =
equipped at=20
little extra expense with a number of useful accessories, such as 9mm =
portals,=20
short-wave radio and, so you always "know where you are" a 200kw =
GPS. =20
Currently, our most Macho version (we call it Big Mike...or maybe it was =
the Big=20
Mack) has heavily embossed tread pattern all around and battery operated =
running=20
lights. Your lady friends will certainly want to know more about =
you when=20
you walk into the local bar packing this =
load!</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001>3. The Diplomat. For =
those with=20
more discerning taste and with the income to support it, we have the=20
Diplomat. Naturally, it is completely adjustable! The =
Diplomat, or=20
Big Brit, as we often call it, is fashioned from full chroma. Uroboros =
Streamer=20
glass. It comes in crystal clear, sky blue, golden rod and Wispy =
White=20
Opal. You will definitely be the talk of the town when you arrive =
at the=20
opera sporting a gleaming new Diplomat. We use only the finest =
silver=20
solder and all mounting brackets are velveteen lined for your=20
comfort!</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN =
class=3D370465223-27102001>Our=20
R&D department is busily at work trying new models, including one =
with a=20
small micro-wave oven. It should be noted that there are some =
design=20
related issues that we...and our corporate attorneys...are wrestling =
with. =20
We are not too proud to admit there have been some problems with Beta =
testing=20
our latest Diplomat model. The quick release mechanism has been =
completely=20
re-engineered and is now provided by a new, more detail oriented =
vendor. =20
For the time being, however, we are advising users to be especially =
careful when=20
wearing and driving. (Most steering wheels have adjustable =
heights, sadly=20
for one of our customers, he locked his Diplomat in and tried to make a =
U turn=20
on North Royal. He is no longer in the ICU and thank all of you =
for your=20
cards and letters.)</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001>Freddie $mith</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001>CEO</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif"><FONT size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D370465223-27102001>PSIndustries</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV></BODY>=
</HTML>
------=_NextPart_000_0006_01C15F24.CB169240--