I cracked the code!

[Roger Baker]

As Ashcroft has been telling America, we need to be very alert and
tell the authorities any info that might help them win this war against
terrorism.  In fact, it is our duty.

As you will recall, America has been warned that to show bin Laden 
videos could
tip off his agents in the USA who await his secret orders to blow stuff 
up and
so on.

So now that his latest interview has come out, I have been subjecting it 
to
my own analysis. At first I screened it for hidden messages by taking the
first letter of the first word of every answer he gave in his interview:

"TYTIGHYOTWMA"    By a process of elimination and logical deduction I 
see his
  hidden message is:

"Tell your troops I got high yesterday -- opium that will mindfuck 
Americans!"

But this is mere misinformation; bin Laden is too fiendishly clever for 
that. If taken
seriously his will only get Rumsfeld all distracted about how to keep 
our troops
from sampling the local product like they did in Vietnam.

But bin Laden is much too clever for that. Instead of using the old 
trick of
communicating with the first letter of the first word of each answer, he 
is
actually using the SECOND WORD to hide his message!

The important letters are now seen to be "IWFHTASAGHKM".

Applying a little standard codebreaking expertise, his hidden message to 
his
followers is now revealed as  "Infidels will now have to agree; scary 
Afghans have
Kalashnikov martyrs".

If Ashcroft has any sense he will concentrate on immediately rounding up 
the
Kalashnikovs from all the gun shows all across the country, and also set 
his
FBI/CIA email screening software to sound the alarm whenever the "K" word
crops up anywhere.  By the same token, guys wearing turbans and toting
Kalashnikovs would be particularly suspect.

Beware, America; terror and evil are lurking, awaiting the opportunity 
to strike.

Spreading the alarm, your faithful servant -- R